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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What do you think of my dads comment to DS?

46 replies

skippingdownthelane · 20/04/2022 17:15

Yesterday DS 20 who’s visiting home from uni, met up with my dad, he asked DS if he had heard about the Queen being ill and DS said he didn’t know that. This led to my dad in a bit of a condensing way say I don’t know how you are at university if you don’t know simple, important facts in the news.

It’s none of my business so I am not going to do anything but wondered what others think of what my dad said.

OP posts:
CrowAndArrow · 20/04/2022 18:05

Both my parents were like this. All the grandkids in the family (all over 18) just ignored them.

Bit of a running joke really.

Pinkdelight3 · 20/04/2022 18:41

Your dad sounds insecure.

ReadyToMoveIt · 20/04/2022 18:43

Is the queen ill? Confused

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 20/04/2022 18:50

He sounds rude and unpleasant

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 20/04/2022 19:15

It's not really news, though, is it? There hasn't been any official notice of a serious/terminal illness - she's just a (from tomorrow) 96yo woman whose health is in line with the health to be expected of a 96yo woman - better than average, in fact.

Even if we had been informed of a terminal diagnosis, what can we really do about it anyway? The Queen would die, the new King is in place to take over immediately: what reaction are we meant to have, other than maybe butter some scones and put out black bunting?

The only 'news' that we really have is that the Queen is a very old lady and unlikely to be with us for decades to come. I'm sure your DS is already well aware of that, not that he can do anything much with that knowledge anyway.

I do find that some elderly people start to feel a bit left behind by progress, technological advances and changes, as well as what they can no longer do that younger people still can. Plenty graciously accept their stage of life and what it means - and are usually very happy indeed to see their grandchildren enjoying the prime of their lives, with the natural acceptance that they themselves have already had the majority of their own.

Others (especially some men) find themselves unable to do this, though, and will try to magnify the things that interest them or that they understand as of immense universal importance, whilst denying that anything alien to them has any importance at all, and will trumpet the world that they know more about than the youngsters as if it's all that really matters.

NurseBernard · 20/04/2022 19:19

But there’s ‘news’ of the Queen being ill every other week now that she’s well into her 90s. People can hardly be expected (or want) to follow every rumour.

Your Dad is being unreasonable. Not to mention coming across as really chippy.

Jengnr · 20/04/2022 19:20

It isn’t remotely important and your son should have said so and watched the top of his head fly off.

MMMarmite · 20/04/2022 19:22

I'd think it a bit of a dickish thing to say. My reaction would depend if it were a one off or a pattern.

Onlyforcake · 20/04/2022 19:24

Is she ill? I don't think your dad understands most people access the news online now, so they're not likely to follow news about a celebrity if they're not interested.

Your dad meant to be rude. University isn't about puring over the day to day health of someone you've never met

devildeepbluesea · 20/04/2022 19:26

Generation gap.

Wouldn’t give it headspace.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 20/04/2022 19:27

I didn’t know the Queen was I’ll until I read this thread. I’ve got a degree and am currently undertaking a masters but I admit I don’t read the news often. I get a lot through social media but no one in my echo chamber is likely to give much of a shit about the Queen!

NurseBernard · 20/04/2022 19:34

If you say to your Dad, ‘there are rumours about the Queen being ill every other day - DS doesn’t really follow gossip’, it’ll take the wind out of his sails for sure.

I’m sure he’d hate to think he was following ‘gossip’, rather than ‘news’.

StoneofDestiny · 20/04/2022 20:03

If your dad thinks that newsworthy and worth headspace there is something wrong

SockFluffInTheBath · 20/04/2022 20:08

NurseBernard · 20/04/2022 19:34

If you say to your Dad, ‘there are rumours about the Queen being ill every other day - DS doesn’t really follow gossip’, it’ll take the wind out of his sails for sure.

I’m sure he’d hate to think he was following ‘gossip’, rather than ‘news’.

But OP won’t do that. Her dad has form for being nasty to her DS and she lets it slide because it’s not her business. That’s why the dad does it, no one is challenging his rudeness and condescension and thinking he’s superior because he watches the telly.

PinkiOcelot · 20/04/2022 20:27

Is the queen ill? I didn’t know that either.

pigsDOfly · 20/04/2022 20:41

Is the queen ill?

Even if she is what the hell is being at university got to do with knowing about it.

Perhaps DS has been following more important aspects of the news. Like the fact that Putin is trying to destroy Ukraine and seems to want to start WW3.

Perhaps he feels that the illness of an extremely old, over privileged woman that he's never met is not that relevant to him so he doesn't read a great deal about her.

I'm old and listen to the news on radio or tv but I've no idea what's happening to the Queen currently. I'd be extremely surprised if many 20 year olds know day to day what's happening to her.

I'm sure we'll all know when she dies.

elhlUI457897J · 20/04/2022 21:00

That was really mean of him and I wouldnt have thought you son was too happy about that. Plus your dad was also inaccurate - the news havent actually revealed that she's ill. My understanding is that she does have cancer but as far as I've checked the media continue to run with post covid fatigue and mobility issues. So your dad was both being unpleasant and wrong.

NurseBernard · 20/04/2022 21:03

You’re right @SockFluffInTheBath - I never really understand the point of these threads…

JamSandwich89 · 20/04/2022 22:05

I can easily picture my Great-grandpa saying that. My cousin asked a question in a family WhatsApp recently and GG replied 'Google it. Don't be so lazy' 😂😂 As PPs have said, I think it's just generational and nothing worth thinking about now. I don't imagine your son is suddenly worried he's not fit for uni!

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 21/04/2022 07:30

If you say to your Dad, ‘there are rumours about the Queen being ill every other day - DS doesn’t really follow gossip’, it’ll take the wind out of his sails for sure.

I’m sure he’d hate to think he was following ‘gossip’, rather than ‘news’.

Yes, this. Buy him a copy of Heat or something if he's such a fan of celebrity gossip. He'll probably froth that, how dare you suggest that the Queen is a celebrity like the Kardashians or whoever; but, effectively, there's no real difference in how the lives and exploits of these rich, privileged celebs actually affect us (i.e. not really).

Nishkin · 21/04/2022 07:32

When my dad was courting my mum he helped my grandma put a sheet on a bed- she was horrified that he was at university and didn’t know how to do ‘hospital corners’ 😂

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