Anyone feel like they didn’t do enough with their kids over the Easter hols compared to their friends?

[Springandsummerarecoming]

Both my youngest two have friends who are out and about every single day. Day trips here and there. One of mine has only had a couple of days with friends at the local park. The other has had an hour at the trampoline park with a friend too. That’s it. It just doesn’t compare to their friends who have had weekends in London etc etc. just feeling a bit fed up really although my kids don’t really know any different anyway.

Better than my kids, we have literally done nothing all Easter holidays, I tested positive for Covid the first week and my Dh tested positive this week and we feel really poorly. The closest the have gotten to going out is going to my mums a couple of days for me to get some rest. I keep seeing all my friends on social media taking their kids to theme parks etc and I feel like such a terrible mum, then I think we'll I couldn't afford to take them anyway so even if I wasn't ill they wouldn't be going which makes me feel even worse.

Do their kids actually enjoy doing something every single day though? Independent play is important. As a child, I'd have found a trip every day quite tiresome. I liked playing in my garden or on the street with friends. For a 2 week half term, we'd probably have done one or two things that went beyond that, maybe a trip to a beach or funfair

Exactly this. The cost of endless outings and treats apart, surely treats are more fun if they don’t happen all the time. Kicking around at home, playing with friends, amusing themselves and so on is part of childhood.
Also, as pp have said, not all children want an endless round of activities.

I feel so guilty. We'd got a holiday booked (just a couple of nights away and a zoo visit) and I got covid so I've been too ill and we haven't been able to go. He's only been out once properly and that was just to my Nan's.

There’s nothing wrong with doing not much with your kids over the holidays. There’s nothing wrong with doing a day out every day with your kids over the holidays.

We’re all different. You can control whether you look at social media etc. If it makes you feel bad - don’t look. The issue isn’t what other people are doing, the issue is you comparing yourself. Give yourself a break!

Facebook is a terrible way to compare other peoples lives with your own. I will admit we were fortunate to go abroad with friends for the first week so there is a few photos on facebook. You won't see photos when we are both working and DS is having to amuse himself (which happened or will happen at Feb half term, 2nd week of Easter and half term in June).

I haven’t seen much on Facebook at all. It’s more chatting to other parents when I bump into them at the supermarket etc. Also bits the kids have told me when they’ve spoken to friends. No one is showing off at all. Just had a day at home today and thought about all they have done and what we have done.

DD is a teen and gets a bit jealous looking at snap maps and seeing her friends all over the place. If it wasn't for seeing it I think she'd be happy because she's been out every day for the last week with friends or with us, even if she hasn't done anything particularly exciting. Just her mooching about with friends costs money once you factor in fuel costs and spending money. It's been a tight month - too much month left at the end of the money 😁But such is life. She has to accept that for us there are lots of little treats but few 'big' spends and her life is nice with those 'little' spends and she'd not be happy with having to scrimp all year for one big holiday instead.

Mine have done loads! A week abroad, 3 days with grandparents (we worked), three days out and about with us and a couple of days in camps (again, whilst we worked). They only have one childhood. Why not make the most of it? Especially given the last couple of years, we have loads to make up for! I felt sorry for my DC’s friend when they said all they had planned for the holidays was going swimming one afternoon! The parents have great jobs - seemingly couldn’t be arsed to organize anything 🙄

Mine didn't do much over the holidays a picnic, one visit to a play centre and one birthday party.
I'll do something Friday.

I’ve done nothing with my kids, we’ve all had covid so we’ve all felt pretty ill. I’m off sick from work anyway as I’m under cardio. Mine are 11 and 14 and 19. They’re not bothered really, but it gets to me sometimes that I’m very boring

I used to feel like this when DD was young. But luckily most of my DD's friends didn't do much on holidays either so usually all of them would play with each other. And I don't think my DD cared much either way, she just wanted to play and have fun regardless if it was away on holiday or at home.

🙄

Oh God, really? Go and inflate your desperate ego elsewhere.

Mine has done loads, I made sure we did something everyday ( they were only off for five days) - leaving the house before 10am and not back till the evening. Everyday. And you know what - my kid is exhausted, their behaviour is terrible and they look shattered. Really we should have just had more days at home and only done one or two days out. Being constantly on is too much for them. Rest is important

Yep. The thought of exhausted and grumpy children doesn’t appeal. I’m glad mine are well rested. Thank you for putting it into perspective.

@FourTeaFallOut - who rattled your cage? Nothing to do with ego, just an honest version of events 🙄 You get out of kids what you’re prepared to put in.

@Foolsrule

but what you’ve described is out of reach for the majority, lots of people can’t take the 2 weeks off work, can’t afford a holiday abroad or lots of exciting expensive days out.

@OnceuponaRainbow18 - I didn’t say the days out were expensive and only took a week off work... Yes, a week’s holiday may not be affordable for everyone, but given some of the posts on here, many people could afford it (see all the threads where people talk about having paid off their mortgages). There is loads that can be done for free - library story times, museums, local events, walks, nature trails. Money helps but I haven’t paid for a lot of what the kids have done and neither have the grandparents. The weather is glorious at the minute. Taking a picnic on a local walk only costs what you’d spend on food anyway. Some people will make the best of what they have on offer locally and some won’t. To me, that’s a real shame for the children.

Am assuming your kids go private? Seeing as they have three weeks off. So yes it is quite a privileged position. In addition, downtime is important. I always overdo it with days out but kids do need downtime.

No cage to rattle here, I just can't imagine wading on to a thread where the op asks if anyone else did very little over the holidays to list your busy schedule. It's a bit ... pathetic.

I like a good balance of time to relax and then to get out and explore, much like my children. So we aim for that but sometimes we end up more or less busy than is ideal.

I think what you have done sounds fine. Nothing wrong with chilling at home - it's important for kids to have downtime in the holidays- term time is busy for them.

We were home for the first week so DS played with his friend from down the road and we had a different friend for one afternoon. Both involved playing in the house or garden - nothing fancy. Went shopping for new shoes, saw my parents and pottered at home. He was very happy.

We are away this week in the lake district so he has had a holiday - we have done lots of walks though, not lots of paid for activities.

We are not going away this summer so will be doing things at/near home.

I used to like being at home as a child. Never bothered me if we didn't go anywhere.

If your children are happy with it, why does it matter what others did?

I struggle to understand when parents feel the need compare themselves to what other parents are doing when you know your kids were happy. It’s choosing to upset yourself.

Kids spent the bank holiday weekend with the in-laws (They live Northeast, we live in the Southeast). Nothing exciting but they were happy running around with their cousins, dancing with their grandma, walking around the neighbourhood, and going to see and feed the ducks. I went on a 20 mile hike and my DH enjoyed seeing his family and having uninterrupted naps. I doubt that many people would find that exciting, but what matters is everyone enjoyed themselves.

I wouldnt worry about it op. I think most parents who put their kids into those holiday camps just don't like their kids and want rid of them for a few hours. Least yours got to spend time with you.

I say that because the stables I keep my horse at runs day 'camps', and it's amazing how many parents try to drop their kids off at least an hour early. It's not childcare, it's a day where they start at a specific time and leave at a specific time. Parents don't give a shit though, they'll try just leaving them there early and not pick them up on time. I feel sorry for the kids, they can't feel very wanted by anyone. I imagine that happens at loads of stables and other hobby camps that go on.

I wouldnt worry about it op. I think most parents who put their kids into those holiday camps just don't like their kids and want rid of them for a few hours. Least yours got to spend time with you.

I used to use holiday clubs and camps for my kids when they were younger and I was working. I used to feel guilty dropping then off because they didn't always enjoy it but there were very few options that worked for a working day. Their grandparents were not local and had them maybe 2 or 3 days over a year.
Now they are are tween/teen and are at home while we are at work (I took 2 days off, and had the bank holiday weekend) I still feel guilty that they are bored (but even when I've got the day off and ask what they want to do/where they want to go they don't always want to do anything - I can't win!)

Mine have been out and about quite a lot but I wouldn't say we've done anything particularly exciting. They've visited both sets of GP's, been swimming, to the cinema and a couple of parks. The eldest did a Dance workshop for two days which she really enjoyed and is having a sleepover with a friend tomorrow. Today we're having a lazy morning then going into town for some lunch and a mooch around the shops. I always find myself feeling guilty if we have the odd day at home in the holidays but I don't know why as the kids actually enjoy it. I don't remember my parents providing constant entertainment or activities during the holidays when I was a child!