What do you spend on your adult son/daughter's birthdays?

[apairofblueeyes100]

This year I spent around £250 each on my son and daughter for their birthdays (as I do normally).

This year they turned 18 and 21 so there were two big birthdays but DH thinks, as adults, the amounts spent on birthdays needs be reduced as they are not children anymore.

In context, my dd, (the now 21 year old) was pregnant at 16 and now has two children so I try to be generous to help her situation. I then feel I can't treat my ds any differently so I match the amounts spent (there are 10 days between their birthdays).

DH is a generous man and is trying to be sensible for future birthdays so this post is not a dig at him, more about, what is a reasonable amount to spend and should birthday spending be reduced once adulthood is reached???

I think by the time I was 16-ish I just got one gift from my parents.

So .... AIBU in the amount I spend and should re-think the amount; or
IMNBU - keep on spending.

Thanks everyone!

I usually spend around £100 to £150 on my 3, then more for milestone birthdays. They had jewellery etc for their 21sts. And I spend the same around Christmas.

£250/£300

I'd say my parents probably spend £100ish plus pay for a family meal, more for a milestone (I'm nearly 42)

My mum is generally really generous, she's just paid for 4 nights in Spain for my sister and I for my sister's 40th, and my sis will get £500 too

£100 would be reasonable and generous. However, I would make the change after 21. So your son gets the same as his sister had until he is 21. If that would cause an issue, put the difference (£150) in savings for him, he well may need it if he goes to uni.

This depends on how much you earn and disposable income. For us it’s about 500 pounds for our mid twenties child

Our children are 24 and 22, we spend about forty pounds each on their birthdays

Wow generous parents on here,
my last birthday my mum spent about £30!

I've got 4, they've all got husbands/wives/partners and then 6 GC so the standard for all is between £100 and £150 for Christmas and birthdays. It adds up to over £3,000 a year which is shocking now I think about it.

Blimey, some of these amounts! 😮 I get about £40-50 spent on me. Thought everyone was supposed to be skint.

Our teen is up to £150 and I think that will be the limit going forward. Like you we have kids with birthdays close and a set of twins (6 in total) so it can get very expensive. I spread the cost of birthdays and Christmas across the year by putting £225 a month in to a savings account for them all. I may reduce it once they have families unless we can afford to save more then.

Thanks guys - I really didn't know whether I was being overly generous in lieu of my husband's comments but it doesn't appear so.

My mam gave me a €50 boots voucher this year which I thought was super generous. I'm much older than your kids though (32)

Depends if they need anything desperately and I take into consideration why they haven't purchased it themselves. A bog standard birthday or Christmas is £100. This year one will be getting a pram and car seat, the other £100.

Last year the roles were reversed, one got £100 and the other an iPhone.

Speaking as the 'child' (now 40!) my parents bought me numerous/more expensiove presents up to 21 then they slowly tapered off. I remember one year when i was about 25 my mum bought me a pack of thongs and a £20 cheque and i felt so hard done by!! Every year since about then i have had token presents - chocolate, smellies, small items of clothing for all birthdays apart from milestones. when i had my children my parents restarted the expensive presents for the grandchildren. I think once you are earning yourself and can buy yourself things, it is unnecessary for a parent to keep buying big expensive presents - you become more and more on a level playing field, all adults. I think overall it just sends a message that the relationship between parents and kids becomes more equal.

My mum spends £20-30 on me. I'm in my 40s.

My dad doesn't do gifts.

We spend £130 ish per adult child, dependent on our budget at the time and their needs. I would like to stop spending so much to me t seems insane as the DC earn more than I get in pension but DH insists. My parents stopped presents when we left home or after uni whenever my siblings got full time jobs. I don't recall getting any presents at all after I was 21! I would continue to buy something but not that much

There is no amount that is too much or too little. It is entirely dependent on your circumstances and preferences. If you can afford that, then go for it. If it's a stretch, then don't.

My mum was more of a "buy small gifts and/or treat my children when I feel like it" kind of person rather than one for giving big birthday/christmas gifts. So she might have got me some lovely face cream for my birthday but on a random shopping trip would insist on buying a new pair of fancy shoes. My DC are young but I feel like I am probably similar to her except for on years when one of the DC has something big they want - eg DS wants his first proper phone this year and last year we got DD her first iPad.

Gave our son 30 euros. His dad bought him a ticket to an Annfield game he 20. His granny is tight but says he working..... Where does it end though. My mother doesnt really buy for us. Im 49.

I’m in my 30s and my parents still spend at least £200 on my birthday gifts, I would be more than happy with a token gift but they say they like to spend money on me. I have gradually increased the amount I spend on their gifts though!