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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

A question for all cat owners (it’s not about poo)

193 replies

Giraffesandbottoms · 19/04/2022 20:25

On the thread re feeding horses, a poster said that all cat owners accept if their cat is an outdoor pet, if it approaches someone it’s fine to pet them. Is this true? I’m now extremely curious about this - it would never occur to me to just pet a random cat I saw. Would you not mind as the owner if everyone was petting your cat? is it "fair game" if it is let out?

OP posts:

Neverreturntoathread · 20/04/2022 07:23

Cats decide who gets to pet them. No one else.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 20/04/2022 07:24

@Piglet89

I do the pspspspsps and the slow blink. I do “pshwshwshwshw” but didn’t know about slow blink! what’s that?

My son has started copying the pshwshwshwshw - he’s only 2.5. And we have our own cat at home!

A slow blink to a cat means you're not going to hurt them - it's supposed to be non-threatening and a sign of trust

Banoffe · 20/04/2022 07:33

There’s a cat in my street who always wants a cuddle. He rolls around your feet and legs and literally follows you to the bus stop.

He once came on the bus with me and had to be taken off. I’ve never found out who his owner is, I’d love to tell them he nearly came to work with me.

OP start stroking cats, can make a horrible day quite lovely!!

Poisoningpigeons · 20/04/2022 08:02

When our DCat was younger, she would come for walks around the neighbourhood with us. We became known as the weird family who walks their cat!

As she got older and slowed down, we'd have to walk unbelievably slowly and keep stopping while she followed, miaowing and panicking about being left behind, but refusing to be seen being carried in public. Eventually we had to ensure she was shut in every time we went for a walk.

Now that she's really old she never leaves our garden these days, but will wait on the garden wall anxiously looking out for our return.

She doesn't tend to invite cuddles from strangers but I wouldn't be in the slightest bit bothered if anybody did stroke her. Cats let you know if they want to be touched. And they let you know when they want you to stop!

thebeespyjamas · 20/04/2022 10:44

My cat getting love and attention? Good.

Me petting random cats in the street? Good.

thing47 · 20/04/2022 11:00

At the end of the day, this is going to be the cat's decision, not the human's
One of mine would let anybody pet him, random strangers are welcome to bestow affection. The other would not get within touching distance of anybody she doesn't know really, really well. And neither like to be picked up.

Hobbesmanc · 20/04/2022 12:58

Our oldest tabby barely tolerates a stroke from us - although he sleeps with us every night. The little one is a bit nervy but very vocal. But the middle boy is famous in our village - during lockdown he had his own facebook page. We live bordering a park and every morning he trots down to visit his human friends. We've had several calls from people (number on his disc) thinking he is lost. He loves any attention and lets anyone pick him up.

I fret he'll be catnapped or get into a strangers van- he has form for this- but he loves being out and about

MrsSkylerWhite · 20/04/2022 12:59

Ours are only in our garden so aren’t used to lots of people.

if a friendly cat approaches me out and about, I’ll scratch its ears.

pigsDOfly · 20/04/2022 13:04

This just reminded me.

There a country park near where I live that has a beautiful resident cat. Actually, he lives nearby but spends a lot of time in the park where he will accost anyone willing to interact and make a fuss of him.

He loves everyone and will behave as if you're the most wonderful person he's ever met and his best friend, while he's with you.

If you're lucky he might walk a little way with you, but when he's bored with you he'll sit down, start washing and let you go on your way.

Then the next person will come along and he'll do it all again with them. Typical cat, no loyalty.

It's a good thing his owners don't mind him being petted by other people. He's quite well known locally.

ricketybeauty · 20/04/2022 13:04

It annoyed me when my dearly departed and fantastically fluffy cat used to follow other women down the road, but that was on him!

I ALWAYS stroke a cat if they let me!

DogfordCats · 20/04/2022 13:40

We installed a camera recently on the front door. I said it was for security but really it was to see when the cat wanted to come in as he resents the indignity of the cat flap. I keep getting notifications from it and when I check the footage, it's passersby and schoolkids wandering down the the front path to stroke him as he wiggles on his back to lure them in. He's never particularly affectionate with us, so I wonder if they're using up his daily quota.

I always stop to chat to other cats in the street.

Fizbosshoes · 20/04/2022 14:05

My cat doesn't let me stroke it (she's v nervous) I'd be super pissed off if I found out she let strangers pet her 🤣

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 20/04/2022 14:09

Fizbosshoes · 20/04/2022 14:05

My cat doesn't let me stroke it (she's v nervous) I'd be super pissed off if I found out she let strangers pet her 🤣

Imagine finding out your cat loved random strangers more than you😳

10HailMarys · 20/04/2022 14:16

Not a cat owner but I'll pet a friendly cat in the street. I don't know any cat owners who would ever dream of objecting to someone stroking their outdoor cat.

(I certainly wouldn't feed someone else's cat or allow/encourage it into my house, though, however much I liked cats. Commandeering someone else's pet and claiming 'it chose us, it just comes in, haha' is really not OK.)

Fizbosshoes · 20/04/2022 16:13

@faiImagine finding out your cat loved random strangers more than you😳

She was friendly to me once about 4 or 5 years ago. It was lovely, I live in hope one day she'll tolerate a bit of affection or become so old she won't be able to run away quickly enough to avoid us stroking her

comealongponds · 20/04/2022 16:21

If cat owners are funny about random people stroking their cat then they shouldn’t let it roam. If the cat doesn’t want to be stroked, it won’t let itself be stroked.

you ask about stroking dogs because they have an owner with them and because even unfriendly or reactive dogs still need walking. Being on a lead means the dog can’t escape if it doesn’t want random strokes, unlike a cat who can just run away.

rubydoobydoo · 20/04/2022 16:24

Ours are indoor cats but I think I'd be proud of them if strangers wanted to stroke them! I know I am if I catch people admiring them in the window 😂

I stroke other cats I meet when I'm out and about, and the cheeky one from next door sometimes settles down in my knee if I'm sitting in the garden.

Fairislefandango · 20/04/2022 16:58

Cats decide who gets to pet them. No one else.

^This. I have both, and being a dog owner is totally and utterly different from being a cat owner. For a start, if a cat doesn't want a stranger to stroke it, it will just walk off. A dog can't do that if it's on a lead, so it will often growl, or maybe even bite if it seriously objects to the attention.

My dog doesn't usually like being stroked by strangers, especially if he's on the lead. Neither does my cat <understatement>. Any stranger is welcome to try to stroke my cat, but they won't manage to get within 2 metres of him!

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