Been cut off for asking for details of my biological dad

[Allmyownopinion]

My mum dropped a massive bombshell that my dad isn’t my biological dad. Literally one night, when talking about her youth said he’s not your real dad than ran off! I was obviously stunned/upset but have a complex relationship with her & can’t really converse with her without her screaming & crying etc so I just left her house. My sister is braver than me & asked her questions on my behalf, just simply are you going to tell her anything else you can’t just leave it at that. Long story short, she’s now saying I’ve ruined the family by bringing this up, I should have ignored what she said, by asking questions I’m horribly ungrateful for the upbringing I had with my parents etc & has blocked me & told my sister she doesn’t ever want to hear my name again. My head is spinning. I actually don’t even want to go digging & find out who the biological connection is, I love my dad & he’s been around since I was 1 so is all I ever known. But I feel like I should be given the courtesy of being told my back story now she’s let it come out! Not to disrupt but it’s a box I can’t close now it’s been opened. I’m devastated. This happened to me, I didn’t cause it, but now I’m being cut off. It sounds insane & it is. I’m just looking for an outsider perspective as I can’t talk to anyone but my sister.

The father can’t be named on the BC unless he is there to sign.

It’s very likely he doesn’t know about OP or maybe just didn’t want to be part of her life so he probably isn’t on the BC.

It’s worth a check though.

This is a classic case of projection. She feels bad due to her own actions but blames the bad feelings on you because she can't take responsibility.

I'd get an Ancestry DNA test done and see who you match with.

Clearly your Mum has issues - I'm guessing she had a deeply crappy childhood herself.

At least your sister and Dad are not playing silly buggers with you!

Probably more trouble than it's worth, raising it with her, not, of course, that you can, since she's hiding under the table like a toddler.

You could do an Ancestry DNA test and do a bit of digging. Bear in mind it's not just your bio-father that you might find, it might be siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, even grandparents. You really don't know what might be there, good or bad. With persistence you can find a lot without any help from your Mum - one friend found who her unknown father was after years of tracing clues.

It doesn't have to be about replacing your Dad. It can also be about getting more of an idea of who you come from, where you fit in the jigsaw of life, and finding other relatives.