Can't Afford to get on property ladder

[Mumrah81]

Hi all, first time poster here so please be kind. I have been reading related posts on MN but still need to work through my extreme envy and also dissapointment that I am in my 40s and still private renting.

I unfairly compare myself to numerous friends and family who have found themselves in the fortunate position of being able to live with parents and save money or were directly given money to buy property.

I feel like I should have tried to buy in my 20s but I didn't really have much support around me and was also dealing with mental health issues at the time.

I have a wonderful husband and 2 DC, so I feel terribly guilty for wanting more. But it's more security for them. It's the niggling inadequacy I feel by knowing we will probably never be in a position to buy.

I just want to gain some closure on it and wondered if anyone else felt the same?

Thanks if you read to the end!

There are lots of YouTube tutorials showing that renting plus investing gives the same end result as owning your own property go take a look put renting versus buying in the search engine it will make you feel better.

If it helps I know people who felt like that but did eventually get on the ladder although granted it was via inheritance.

@Mumrah81

No, I’m with you. But then I read all of your post and saw that you have two children and that’s far more important. You’ve created a home for them - it doesn’t make a difference to them if it’s rented or not.

I think you have to focus on what you have whilst making plans for what will make you feel secure. That might be investing so that eventually you can buy or look at cheaper areas/schemes but at the moment you are doing well with a good tenancy/suitable property.

I grew up in a home my parents bought before I was born. It gives you a level of security that you recognise is absent when you are an adult but if your children have always lived in rental they won’t notice this.

Op, can you move somewhere cheaper and buy?

It does seem much harder for people to get on the ladder without help these days.
BIL and his wife were both given savings as gifts and lived with dh's parents for many years to save up too. SIL left home and rented and struggles to save to buy with her dh, her parents said no to letting them live at theirs so they could save (bit mean really after letting BIL do it). They're half siblings and their aunt saved for them so my dh didn't get that.
We got on the ladder with a child and no financial help from family, we were early 20's. We could do it with a 5% deposit and over 100% mortgage back then to consolidate other debts. We saw so many others who bought off plan around us have their houses repossessed, we managed to keep hold of ours despite me being made redundant 3 times. Now we need a bigger house but got to figure out how we'll afford it without moving too far away from family.

I wont ever be able to buy either. Am on UC and in my 40s. My parents still live in my childhood (council) home. No inheritance will be coming from them.
Only way I could buy would be to win the lottery, and I don't even play it.

In the relatively expensive city I live in, out of the many people I know who own their home, there is not much of a relationship between income and property value. Instead it's wealth - either inheritance or bank of mum and dad. Me and my partner has neither, so despite decent enough salaries, we could only afford a small house house that needed completely renovated. Over 5 years on, it's still not finished. We've sacrificed so much over the years - money, time, holidays, living for long periods (years) with no proper kitchen, no flooring.... So yes, sometimes I do feel jealous of those who can live in a 'normal' house and not spend every weekend doing DIY, or feeling guilty for being too exhausted to do DIY. But then I am also very grateful that we have a home at all.

@XenoBitch

I wont ever be able to buy either. Am on UC and in my 40s. My parents still live in my childhood (council) home. No inheritance will be coming from them. Only way I could buy would be to win the lottery, and I don't even play it.

If its an older style tenancy you may be able to inherit their council house so some security in your old age there.Worth finding out.

@XenoBitch

I wont ever be able to buy either. Am on UC and in my 40s. My parents still live in my childhood (council) home. No inheritance will be coming from them. Only way I could buy would be to win the lottery, and I don't even play it.

If they are on the older style tenancy you might be able to inherit their council house.

It’s completely changed since I bought years ago with zero parental help. My neighbours next door bought their house 40 years ago, they both worked in factories, retired now. I actually think DH and I would struggle to afford our house now if starting out. In 1999 junior lecturers earned about 25k, our house cost 62k. Now a junior lecturer starts off on around 35k and an identical house to ours sold for almost 300k last year.

Its dreadful.

Thankyou all so much for your replies, it so good to hear so many different perspectives and get some objective opinions.

I think that I will have to stop being envious of others as I have a good home and family, which I am very grateful.

I guess everyone struggles at times with envy and everyone's circumstances are different.

unless you buy before you have your kids I think it’s pretty much impossible :(

there's no way I could save money these days now my daughter is here !