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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To decline my school place?

524 replies

LG123 · 19/04/2022 06:20

I'm so cross, just want to yell at admissions (I won't).

My daughter got offered a place outside of catchment as my catchment school os oversubscribed. They wouldn't have to provide transport because she's under compulsory school age so my tiny 4 year old would be expected to walk 2 miles each way everyday.

Bet all the ones that drive got their place at a school round the corner.

AIBU to tell them to jog the fuck on?

OP posts:
Russell19 · 19/04/2022 07:24

I'm a reception teacher and have only had children defer for a term or two, entering in the summer term. They are at a serious disadvantage missing the two main terms of EYFS then going into year 1. If your child is born May-August like you said, she could enter into reception but I have never seen this happen (maybe it's just my area). I'd also check what happens when they get older for secondary. Do they have to skip a year to catch up or anything or just carry on through? I'm not sure on that part, particularly on entry to secondary.

MRex · 19/04/2022 07:25

Try the waiting list process first, then arguing for transport, then defer. Unless you want to defer anyway, in which case it's a moot point so you just defer.

User0610134049 · 19/04/2022 07:26

And yes they do provide physical transport in some areas. My daughter got a taxi in year 1 & 2 as we moved to the area and the local school was full, and the one they offered was more than 2 miles away.
I was nervous the first few times but the drivers (family firm) were lovely and had kids at the school themselves.

Original poster
LG123 · 19/04/2022 07:28

@TeenPlusCat I live in a supportive county that are an automatic yes, so no need.

OP posts:
lightisnotwhite · 19/04/2022 07:28

Is your logic there that because your child was able to do it every child is able to do it?

Literally every child that you know nothing about can walk 2 miles to school?

How does that even work?

I think the point was the Op seems to think it’s not possible? Someone just pointing out it was.

Original poster
LG123 · 19/04/2022 07:29

@ManUforthewin I know my child, I know how far she walks, she wouldn't even understand the question anyway.

OP posts:
Crazydogmumma · 19/04/2022 07:30

Please think carefully about deferring. If she is currently in nursery and her friends are all going to ‘big school’ - she may be sad and confused that she is not going.
When nursery restarts In September it will be different as her friends won’t be there and she will have to start making new friends with children who are younger than her and are just starting out on their nursery journey- so maybe less developed in their play skills etc than your little one.
Deferring works for some children but do think carefully about the effects on your child before making a rash decision to decline a place.
Remember a 2 mile walk may be tiring for a 4 or 5 year old but by 6,7 etc you may be glad of the exercise for them to run off some of their energy!

crackingreward · 19/04/2022 07:31

I'm trying to work out why you have even posted OP. People are trying to give sound advice but you have no interest in listening, you just want to reiterate what you are going to do.

Original poster
LG123 · 19/04/2022 07:32

@Russell19 if they are educated out of cohort the assumption is they will remain in the adopted cohort. Secondary schools have to provide sound educational reasons to have them skip a year.

OP posts:
tempester28 · 19/04/2022 07:33

you can accept the place but delay your child's start as they are so young and get on the waiting list for the school you want. You may or may not be lucky to get a place in the meantime. i did this and it worked out for the best.

Original poster
LG123 · 19/04/2022 07:34

@Crazydogmummal in her current room at nursery she will be the only one to go to school this year

OP posts:
Eesha · 19/04/2022 07:35

I would defer their place. I did this out of choice for my summer born children. However nearing September, there was a lot more availability in local schools as there was movement in the lists so I did end up sending them to a decent school.

FelixDaHouskat · 19/04/2022 07:38

Do you have other kids? i am asking because if you have only 1 kid a bike with a kid rack at the back is wonderful. My son and i went everywhere together like that. I don't now how is the road but if possible I'd recommend it.

Another possibility if you have 2 kids is a buggy board for the buggy for the older one. Or a scooter for them.

We have grown 2 kids without a car, with bikes, walking and thinking laterally. I understand you are annoyed now but i am sure you can turn this into a positive - I always thought of it as free exercise.

tempester28 · 19/04/2022 07:38

Just to clarify my dd was the same age as yours and started after easter not September - if you are still allowed to do that? it was a while ago now but if you should check the rules I think you will find if they are still 4 you can delay a term without missing the whole year. My DD was at a really good pre-school and certainly, was not behind when she started later in the school year.

Twizbe · 19/04/2022 07:39

Sleep on it OP. This is a very knee jerk reaction.

You can defer or decline tomorrow as well as today.

I would still say accept and go on waiting lists. You can always decline and defer later.

FelixDaHouskat · 19/04/2022 07:40

Sorry I saw somebody else had already suggested cycling. Apologies for repeating.

RedskyThisNight · 19/04/2022 07:41

[quote LG123]@ManUforthewin I know my child, I know how far she walks, she wouldn't even understand the question anyway.[/quote]
You don't know what your child's capabilities in 6 months' time will be. Children change massively at this age.
Round here we have separate junior schools that are just over a mile apart and very very many Reception children have to walk 2 miles round trip both times as they take their older sibling to school first (and pick up later). They all struggle a bit at first but soon build up to manage the distance. I wouldn't assume at this point that your DC won't be able to manage.

Also, you realise that school transport is a taxi just for the child? Are you happy to let your young child get a taxi on their own, as opposed to encouraging them to build up to walking the distance required?

Fem1985 · 19/04/2022 07:43

If you’re in the schools catchment area appeal the decision

ifonly4 · 19/04/2022 07:44

My DD was the youngest in the year, so I understand where you're coming from physically. However, she was one of the brightest in the year and needed to be in school - keeping her at home would have delayed her progress and frustrated her. We were very lucky to be just under a mile from school, but many in the catchment area had much further to come - some were very lucky and had lifts, but many others used scooters and bikes, and the odd reception child is in a pushchair most of the way, getting out near school.

artisanbread · 19/04/2022 07:44

Before you decline the place, I would speak to the admissions office and say "I am planning to decline the place and reapply for deferred entry to Reception next September", just to be absolutely certain that it is possible.

Daqqe · 19/04/2022 07:45

OP, you aren’t listening to any suggestions & continuing to stare you’ll defer. You’ve clearly already decided so just do it.

But I’d seriously consider what you are going to do next year. It’s a low birth year & if you didn’t get into your catchment school, you must live in a very populated area. Is it going to be the same next year? Are you unlikely to get in? Did you put any other choices down on your list that are easier to get too than the school she’s been allocated? I live semi-rurally & even I looked round 6 potential schools and would have been happy with 4 of them. There must be other schools that are easier to get too near you? Be it walking, bus or car. Could you consider them & call the council to see if they have space for this year? Or if you are determined to defer, look at all your options next year ..

countrylifer · 19/04/2022 07:45

Don't decline the place. There's no point - just accept it and stay on the waiting list for your preferred school - that way you keep your options open. If there's no movement in the waiting list towards the end of the summer you can rethink then, but I wouldn't make a knee jerk decision now. Accepting is the effective "do nothing, decide later" option and by far the safest for now. You may have had a change of heart in 4 months time and if you've declined the place you won't have options open to you.

godmum56 · 19/04/2022 07:47

if she is a summer baby then delay the place.

Gunpowder · 19/04/2022 07:47

Loads of children in my borough defer and start reception a year late. It’s not an issue at nursery, they just make new friends (I think the children that being ‘left behind’ would really bother are the older/very confident ones who are chomping at the bit to go to big school - and they wouldn’t defer anyway).

I wish I’d deferred entry for my May born DD, she absolutely wasn’t ready physically or emotionally and it was a struggle.

In terms of transport, I had to use a buggy for her the first term of reception, especially for pick up, and she wasn’t alone. Every child is different and just because one posters child walked four miles a day when they were four doesn’t mean OP’s DD could cope with that.

dworky · 19/04/2022 07:48

@Oysterbabe

It isn't the school's fault you can't drive, that isn't a criteria they considered when allocating the places. Can you catch a bus?
How do you know OP can't drive? Maybe she can't afford to run a car or she simply doesn't want to for personal or political reasons. I see this regularly on here, people acting as if car driving is compulsory & anyone who doesn't is some sort of failure, even irresponsible.