Woman’s aid refuge, nightmare neighbours!

[Dugthedog]

So long story short or not so short. I’m in a woman’s aid refuge. It’s lovely, nice (ish) area, we get our own flats (rather than shared accommodation) beautiful garden with climbing frame for the kids etc. Fully furnished. Honestly wouldn’t change it for the world. It’s amazing and I’m so so appreciative to be in a place like this.

But……

The woman downstairs and her kids are driving me insane. My kids play with her kids which is fine. The mum screams all day at kids. I mean extreme! Im no angel and have shouted at my kids before but my god this is wild, every day, all day and sometimes at night!
Its to a point I would say is not a heathy environment for her kids, her youngest (under 5) can be heard swearing in the garden, he hits and screams. Most times I’m able to redirect him if he’s in my flat (he doesn’t swear in my flat) and I just deal with it because he’s so young and obviously been/going through a lot.
Tonight though I was in the kitchen with the window open and i hear something about “taking a piss” and I look out the window and there he is standing there literally peeing on the block of flats!

I have no idea what I’m supposed to do because obviously if I complain to his mum she’s just going to scream at him (I’m worried it’s more than just screaming that happens) if I complain to the woman’s aid workers, they’ll just tell her and she’ll scream at him.
I don’t feel I can complain about the constant shouting either because I have to live here and don’t want any trouble.
I know she has the woman’s aid support in place (we all get it here) and the kids have mentioned social workers before so I think the social work are already involved.

It’s supposed to be such a relaxing place to find myself and gain confidence again but I find myself feeling so angry having to live in a place where it’s constant chaos. It’s no different than being with my ex and it’s not helping my anxiety at all!
I don’t know what to do.

I’m I being unreasonable to just keep my mouth shut till I get out of here or should I tell the support workers what’s going on?

I’d tell the support workers. It sounds like the family need more support than they’re already getting.

You need to talk to your key worker.

She's also trying to recover and both she her kids will be mirroring the behaviour they've fled from while trying to escape the dysfunctional cycle they were stuck in. At the same time, she clearly needs more support.

She'll not know it was you, when I was in a refuge a room was empty for 2/3 days at the most which means there's others around who are also witnessing this

The support workers will be somewhat aware.

They can't find her suitable support if they can't see the full picture, so I think you either need to tell them, or arrange a meeting with your worker in your flat at a time when she is usually shouting, and start a conversation from there.

Its a horrible situation for you op, but that family needs help, and you need to be able to relax in your own flat without worrying about more abuse going on around you

@WeDontShutUpAboutBruno

Yeah I’m assuming the workers are more than aware tbh, the flats are amazing at keeping our any sound (which just shows the extremity of the shouting) but if you’re in the landing of the flats you can here a lot more, she’s on the same landing as the office and in very close proximity to it. The office is manned 60-80% of a 9-5 day so they’re bound to have heard the screaming.

I’ll speak to my support worker next time I see her and hopefully they’ll be an improvement and she’ll get some extra support.

I’m pessimistic over whether she’ll take the support though as we get offered various groups we can attend (one parenting group) and she doesn’t go to any of them. Obviously the support (other than key worker appointments) are completely voluntary.

They are all trained in safeguarding, so it will come to a point that they will call SS if its in the children's interests and she isn't taking any support that's offered.

Sorry you're going through this op