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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be P'd off at SIL for not acknowledging grans death

13 replies

singyswife · 09/01/2008 14:24

My gran died on 2nd Jan and I havent heard from my sil. My SIL and I are very close and she hasnt been well since Sept. I have been taking her sn son whenever I could, offering help when I could and phoning her every day to see if she was ok. Am I being unreasonable to be really upset that she has sent no card, no phone call or text and has not offered to do anything for me. Am I being completely unreasonable????? I am now aware that it has been ages since I heard from her or spoke to her and would like to get in touch again but am so angry at her right now. What to do?>???

OP posts:
Original poster
singyswife · 09/01/2008 14:26

bump

OP posts:
MaryAnnSingleton · 09/01/2008 14:28

YANBU but she might be having a very hard time and it'd be all credit to you if you did make the initial move in getting in touch

Hecate · 09/01/2008 14:31

You are not being unreasonable at all. But OTOH, many people are totally at a loss when it comes to how to deal with death - I have heard of folks crossing the street to avoid a friend who has suffered a berevement, because they have no idea what to do or say and are actually worried/afraid, or think the person will want to be left alone.

This is no comfort to you, but it may well be because she cares, not because she doesn't, that she is trying to work out what best to do.

Original poster
singyswife · 09/01/2008 14:32

MaryannSingleton..... nothing to do with this thread but my surname is Singleton too.

OP posts:
Original poster
singyswife · 09/01/2008 14:33

Yeah but she contacted me when my other gran died 2 years ago. I am just so mad, even people who I wouldnt say are excellent friends have phoned me to see how I am and how the fineral went.

OP posts:
Spidermama · 09/01/2008 14:34

Some people aren't good at judging when to get in touch at a time like this. They wonder if they should leave well alone and they don't know what to say.

Sorry for your loss singyswife.

MaryAnnSingleton · 09/01/2008 14:37

it isn't my real name !! My mum went rto school with Valerie Singleton, if you remember her...agree with what Spidermama and Hecate said too - and very sad too for the loss of your gran

Original poster
singyswife · 09/01/2008 14:38

Oh sorry. Thought that was your name. Thank you for the comments.

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Original poster
singyswife · 09/01/2008 14:52

thanks all.

OP posts:
Hecate · 09/01/2008 19:21

take care. x

Original poster
singyswife · 09/01/2008 20:43

Hi there, just wanted to say that I spoke to my sil today and she has been really ill. Now I feel like shit for ever being annoyed with her. Just wanted to post that. Thanks

OP posts:
Hecate · 09/01/2008 20:55

I'm glad - well, you know what I mean -- .

Original poster
singyswife · 09/01/2008 20:58

Yeah totally feel like crap now for being annoyed. Poor sole hasnt had much luck lately. HOpefully I can just get on with helping her now.

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