Scheduled for this week and I feel sick.
First 3 months of the year were fantastic, I took on responsibilities of a vacant senior post and did a great job. Then they recruited and the person in the role doesn’t particularly like me but that’s irrelevant. But she is a micromanager and I no longer have any real responsibility.
As I’m a civil servant and she is a contractor, I have to have a civil servant line manager too and he will be conducting the review with the other manager in attendance too.
Problem is, after that first 3 months, things have really gone to shit. I’ve been underperforming because of personal factors in my life that have become all-consuming (single parenting a disabled child and all that it encompasses). Work have been supportive but I appreciate it isn’t really their problem.
I’m usually a hug achiever, whereas this year I don’t think I’ve even met half of my objectives. My mental health is already shot to shit and I don’t know what to do.
The only comfort I have is knowing that if there were serious concerns with my performance they would have been raised already. But it is going to be a difficult conversation and my anxiety is through the roof.