Unsure whether to go to friend's wedding abroad?

[Lilybow]

My friend moved to new Zealand and met a lovely guy there, they are now getting married next year and they're having the wedding there in NZ.

I'm.pregnant with my first baby and works out her wedding will be when baby is 11 months old.
She came to my wedding over here (UK) a few years ago and was able to turn the trip into an interrailing round Europe and see her family/friends.

I can't really afford to go and also I'd have to take baby with me and my DH and no idea what she will be like on a plane at that age. Feeling guilty as she came to my wedding, but with statutory maternity pay etc I know I can't afford a trip to NZ.

AIBU to consider saying I can't go?

You can't afford to go, what else can you say?

YANBU. A flight to NZ with a baby that age could be akin to hell. Then with money being tight on top, not worth it whatsoever

You can’t afford it, so you don’t go. End of.

She will understand if she’s a good friend, I doubt she’ll even be surprised when you decline tbh because not many people would have the time, money and inclination to travel that far with a baby.

Not sure why this is even a question.
If you can't afford it, then you can't go.
Unless there is some imperative reason, the concept of taking an 11month old on a 24hour flight is just horrendous.
She is a good friend who has made the decision to live in New Zealand, she will obviously be a bit sad that friends and family can't be there, but that is the reality to living as far as you possibly can away from friends and family.
You might be able to see if there is a possibility of them streaming the service - a lot of people did this in lockdown - then you could perhaps join in from home ?

If you can’t afford it you can’t afford it, there’s not much else to consider.

You can't afford to go, what else can you say?

Her trip for your wedding was also a visit home. Explain you wish you could go but it is not possible and she should understand.

If you can't afford it then don't go. Some good friends of ours who now live in another country can't afford to come to our wedding and it's fine. They'll be missed and they're sad to miss the day but it is what it is.

Let her know now, and be honest with her.

Yes, not a dilemma, you can’t afford it.

Of course not... it's literally the other side of the world!

I am not going to my cousins wedding in Europe, I could stretch to it but due to lack of annual leave the flights I would need to do would make it a right faff for 36 hours in menorca, I work full time, it is just too much cost and effort for a wedding