40 y old, happily married, two kids who are both happy and healthy (they havent always been and I don't take this for granted or lightly ever) and been in the same job I love for nearly a decade.
When I was younger I was very ambitious for its own sake almost - just always assumed the right thing to do was to go for promotions and pay rises and think my 30yo self would be surprised and maybe a bit disappointed at my career.
After years of ups and downs with health stuff and normal extra work that comes with tiny kids I feel I have the headspace to look at promotions. My dh also hates his jobs and as Ive not had a payrise in years I feel some pressure to bring more in too and free him to maybe take a less well paid but less stressful role, but he is clear he doesnt view it this way and I shouldnt factor this into my thinking. My commute is also crap and stressful, but I really love my role, workplace and colleagues.
The thing is - I have no gut feeling about what I want which is strange as am normally very decisive. I really want to support dh more. I also think I want to be ambitious and look like am making progress but then I wonder who I am trying to impress as no one that matters would care what I was doing in my job so long as I was happy.
I cant work out if I am just reluctant to acknowledge I am no longer very ambitious and happy where I am or whether there is a fear or change and the unknown preventing me seeking more.
Has anyone else found themselves at a similar stage in life unable to read their own feelings much less make any decisions?