My husband to be had a particularly comatose night and his phone lit up why he was sleeping. He's been a bit shit in earlier years regarding porn (deal breaker explained to him early in relationship all you cool girls not the thread for you) and led to a check of his history and such. He woke up afterwards why I was seething at the content and sheer amount of it. We created each a Pinterest each for our upcoming wedding but his was absolutely filled with naked/half naked women. No further action or likes etc. He was passing down his phone to my stepson and asked me to clear it . I had to check, I know it's invasion of privacy but this is the man I'm going to marry who is incredibly jealous and bitter about anyone I show attraction to e.g. Thor ffs. It was wall to wall women, all complete opposite body type to me and looking at timestamps it was mostly work and then the rest when he would have been with with me and the children 7/8 times a day for over a year scrolling through these women. This was at a time where I'd lost quite a lot of weight and our love and sex life was amazing. This butchered my confidence obviously and now every time he picks his phone up all I can think is who is he looking at now? I really don't think he'd do it again as I sent screenshots searching for sexy men and he was absolutely gutted and quiet with me so think he understands where I was coming from. I just can't bloody get past it. I trust him I really do but I'm in the mindframe that searching, wanking, ogling over other women when we are due to do be married and have children is just bloody out of order. I asked him how he'd feel the other way around and he was on the verge of tears.
Am I being unreasonable and should accept that men just cant grow up and need visual stimulants all their life
I'm completely vindicated and should have cause for concern or at least reason to hate myself and body so much
😞