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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

No Easter egg or alternative from dad...

38 replies

Popeee17 · 17/04/2022 19:18

Hi all, name changed details changed slightly to not give myself away. Who knows who's on mumsnet 👀

I have ds 9 with an ex, split when I was pregnant. He sees him but contact is sporadic. Here and there, inconsistent etc. Usually rocks up at Christmas extravagant gifts - usually a typical Disney dad.

Previous years his dad had bought him a few eggs, sometimes too much and ended up with too much. But it seems it's gone from one extreme to another this year.

Anyway, his dad texted to say he'd pop over with eggs for Ds this morning. He came over and gave Ds an egg from his parents, DS's grandparents but nothing from himself, his dad apart from a small chocolate bar (like vending machine or singular chocolate bar from confectionery stand). Ok, so he didn't have to get him an egg but a single chocolate bar is pants right?

There's a chance the shop had ran out or he left it too late (not they've been in the shop since January or anything!). If he couldn't or didn't want to get an egg he could have bought an alternative or give him a couple quid pocket money! A single chocolate bar is pants right? Think like a Mars bar!

^he lives close by and I've heard the shops in our area were still pretty well stocked until last minute! Sure he could find something anyway.

It's not the end of the world. He got an egg off his grandparents but his dad has made zero effort! Literally stayed for 5 minutes before rushing off too.

His dad then told Ds that his younger kids (whom he has with his partner) has just had a massive Easter egg hunt in their garden. Talk about rubbing salt into the wound. Whilst Ds had a chocolate bar his younger kids had a massive Easter egg hunt in his words.

Ds has not gone without. He's had stuff off us and other relatives. But aibu to be annoyed? Or being precious?

It's just the fact he had the audacity to come over with a tiny chocolate bar! It didn't even have to be chocolate, he could have got him something else. Don't have to spend much!

I didn't say anything whilst he was here. I was in disbelief tbh. Didn't want to make a scene. Nor did I want Ds hearing anything and learning to expect more.

Ds hasn't really mentioned it. He left shortly afterwards to go to Dp's mum who gave him a 'massive egg' (in his words, not mine!).

Aibu? Haven't had chance to sit and think about how pants it is until now.

You could literally buy an egg for a £1 in Tesco. Probably not much more than the chocolate bar.

OP posts:
KylieCharlene · 17/04/2022 19:56

How cruel of him to boast about his other dc having an egg hunt.
What a vile man.

Frankola · 17/04/2022 20:11

It would have been nice of him to invite his child to his other kids Easter egg hunt.

However, please don't blame his other kids for getting that treat. That was most likely down to their own mums organisation. Not your exs.

Your ex is as fault here. Your sons half siblings have done nothing wrong.

Herejustforthisone · 17/04/2022 20:12

How are posters minimising how shit this is from the dad?

He rocked up, spent minutes with his son, gave him a no-thought chocolate bar, and told this little boy about his younger kids having a lovely Easter egg hunt? What a thoughtless cunt.

unicornsarereal72 · 17/04/2022 20:13

You have no influence how ex behaves. And it really isn't worth your energy. Kids will see who stepped up. Focus on being the best parent you can be and let him do him

I don't know if my kids will be getting an egg next week when they see their father. It has previously been before Easter. Or dropped round. They have plenty. Although counting up who has sent what. And asked if there was any more to come I mentioned dad and they both said basically we won't hold our breath.

They had plenty. We did and egg hunt server all times. BBQ with family. It is a mear smear on a lovely day we had.

Herejustforthisone · 17/04/2022 20:14

@Frankola

It would have been nice of him to invite his child to his other kids Easter egg hunt.

However, please don't blame his other kids for getting that treat. That was most likely down to their own mums organisation. Not your exs.

Your ex is as fault here. Your sons half siblings have done nothing wrong.

How is the OP ‘blaming his other kids’?
AHungryCaterpillar · 17/04/2022 20:19

Not being funny but you probably wouldn’t have been happy if your ds did go there and left you home alone on Easter whilst he played happy families with your ex and his new partner and kids (come on would you have really wanted him to go to his dads for Easter?) so I think YABU there.

Innocenta · 17/04/2022 20:21

@Herejustforthisone

How are posters minimising how shit this is from the dad?

He rocked up, spent minutes with his son, gave him a no-thought chocolate bar, and told this little boy about his younger kids having a lovely Easter egg hunt? What a thoughtless cunt.

I totally agree. People are forgetting how long a year feels to a child, and how far apart each Easter seems. The specialness of Easter eggs is really diluted in adulthood because we can buy them ourselves and time feels faster. I think it was crap of the dad to only give a regular chocolate bar.
Fulmine · 17/04/2022 20:23

@Moochio

No Easter egg or alternative from dad...

a small chocolate bar seems like a suitable alternative tbh. He has loads of chocolate. It's not about quantity it's about seeing his dad and I bet he was chuffed to see him.

Of course it's not a suitable alternative when his dad is telling him about the massive Easter egg hunt his half siblings have had.
Moochio · 17/04/2022 20:25

Of course it's not a suitable alternative when his dad is telling him about the massive Easter egg hunt his half siblings have had. I expect their mum sorted that out though as he sounds a right dick. But a chocolate bar is a suitable alternative to an egg when given with other eggs

Popeee17 · 17/04/2022 20:34

@Hankunamatata

I think you have sabotaged your own post by making it an egg over a choc bar.

It's about his dead beat dad not bothering to be a good dad or even a dad.

You are totally right to be honest.
OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 17/04/2022 20:34

Ex showed up here and hid easter eggs in the boot of his car I thought never mind maybe he is surprising him no, no he wasn't he took him out for an hour said amazon hadn't delivered what he had ordered told him about his week away made excuses why he couldn't play online with him later and left he said I will text you later and we will go online play a game together eight hours later nothing no text nada same last week I will message you later never messages 😠 I can be fuming on ds behalf but he always says it's "ok" it's really not OK to let a kid down like that and he steals the Christmas and birthday gifts from his side of the family and thinks I don't notice seriously I notice especially when they run there mouth all over town saying I'm ungrateful for the money they give them for Christmas im like???? What money?

Popeee17 · 17/04/2022 20:37

@Frankola

It would have been nice of him to invite his child to his other kids Easter egg hunt.

However, please don't blame his other kids for getting that treat. That was most likely down to their own mums organisation. Not your exs.

Your ex is as fault here. Your sons half siblings have done nothing wrong.

I've not put any blame on them at all? Would never think they've done wrong. Ds had an Easter egg hunt with Dd this morning. It's not an issue, he didn't miss out. It was just the bragging by my ex. Like we had the best hunt kinda thing. Ours was just hidden inside, theirs outside. Thing is Ds is up at the crack of dawn, even earlier on Easter. I would have no time to hide them outside before he gets up 😅
OP posts:
Frankola · 17/04/2022 22:20

Sorry OP. Using the word "blame" was a poor choice of words on my part. I didnt mean you were blaming his other kids.

What I meant, and poorly worded, was that it doesn't matter what his other kids were getting because given his lack of effort with your poor ds i doubt he had any part in organising Easter for his other children.

He couldn't even be arsed to think about inviting your ds to that either.

Your exs behaviour is shocking. But all that said. It matters not one bit because you made an effort and gave him a good day.

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