Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my dad is using drugs again?

2 replies

itiswhereweare · 17/04/2022 19:08

My dad is a 60 year old man. Going to cut a long, long story very short. He has been addicted to prescription painkillers since he has been 30 years old.

I was unaware of it for much of my life until I turned about 20. He is a very smart and educated man that managed to live a very successful life and I was non the wiser (although his my mum and his subsequent 2 wife's knew all about it). Anyways, from when I was 20 - 26 he started showing real signs of addiction, he would wet and shit himself, constantly sitting with his mouth hanging open and falling asleep, hallucinating, stumbling about and becoming aggressive.

He has bipolar so was under the care of a psychiatrist at the time, he had an appointment and I went in with him and basically told the psychiatrist what had been going on at which point, my dad, for the first time in his life broke down and admitted everything. From that day forward he worked so hard at recovering and had 3 and a half years of recovery under his belt.

However, he has been very withdrawn lately. Hardly answering his phone or texts, not wanting to do anything. I phoned him tonight and he answered and my heart just sank. I know he has been using again, he wasn't following the conversation, slurring his words, coming out with some weird things. I just know he has relapsed. I asked him outright, 'have you been relapsed' to which he replied that no he hasnt but he's offended I would even ask, do I know how hard he has worked the past few years? I told him that was a classic defence mechanisms seen in addicts, trying to deflect. He then hung up and can't get through to him since.

I honestly can't go through this again but I can't sit whilst he lies to me. I can't deal with it and don't know how to handle this. I know 100 percent he has relapsed and if he hasn't then he needs to go to hospital ASAP as he's having some sort of stroke.

OP posts:
itiswhereweare · 17/04/2022 19:14

Sorry forgot my question. AIBU to keep pushing for him to admit it? Or am I best just leaving it?

OP posts:
EddieVeddersfoxymop · 17/04/2022 19:30

I have this with my dad, except replace drugs for alcohol. He goes through periods of being clean, swearing blind he will never touch a drop again. I've lost count of how many promises he's made. So right now, I'm low contact and leave him to it. Even when he's slurring, falling over and out of it.

If I push him, he denies and denies. Louder each time he denies about how clean he his, even though he's clearly ill from the years of alcohol abuse.

So to answer you - yanbu to leave him to it, if your conscience will allow. Its taken me some time to get to this point though

New posts on this thread. Refresh page