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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

21month DS hates the car

21 replies

crackerjackbaby · 17/04/2022 14:26

And I mean reallllly hates it. Cries and screams after 5 mins into a journey and doesn't stop til we've reached destination. Often gets into such a state he vomits, poor thing. It limits where we can go, invites we can accept, friends we can see.

We have tried:

His own little tablet loaded with tv shows he likes (though, he's not into TV, doesn't have the attention span or interest yet).
Toys within his reach and toys i pass him.
Me sat next to him in the back.
Me sat in the front.
Snack upon snack.
Waiting until his nap time to start the drive
Waiting until after a long nap in the hope he's refreshed.
Buying a different car seat.
Ignoring him.
Singing.
Radio.
Silence.
Reassurance.

We live in London so it's not essential to drive for life or work or nursery, but I hope you can see its still upsetting (for him and us to see him upset). Any advice on things we've not tried, so very gratefully received.

OP posts:
ElegantlyTouched · 17/04/2022 14:40

What sorts of things are you driving him too?

My dd was like that at a similar age. What helped was me getting my licence and her going in it more, and more often to places that were fun for her, so she learnt that it was the means to an end. Now, a few months on and she will, sometimes, get into the car of her own accord. It's not always perfect, she gets fed up on long journeys, but she is better than she was.

(For long trips I stock up with treats (give her a wee tub and replenish often), soft toys and books (rotate) and tablet as a last resort.)

Stath · 17/04/2022 14:43

Does he have travel/motion sickness?
You can get ooc meds for long journeys but that doesn’t solve shorter ones.

I’ve had car haters and they do grow out of it but it’s bloody awful when they’re crying their hearts out and you’re helpless to stop them.

Original poster
crackerjackbaby · 17/04/2022 14:51

Thanks for your replies. More often than not we are driving him to places he knows and has fun at (grannys). And we have tried travel sickness wristbands to no avail.

OP posts:
Sharrowgirl · 17/04/2022 14:55

I would guess that it’s travel sickness but I don’t know what you can do for that at his age. Presuming he’s too young for the tablets and you’ve tried bands.

Don’t know, seems like you’ve tried everything! It will pass but that doesn’t help you in the meantime.

Original poster
crackerjackbaby · 17/04/2022 14:57

Thanks Sharrowgirl, it actually does help to know we've tried everything and we're not being ridiculous. Might have a chat with GP to see what is suggested.

OP posts:
chisanunian · 17/04/2022 15:21

How long does it take for him to recover afterwards?

Original poster
crackerjackbaby · 17/04/2022 15:28

@chisanunian

How long does it take for him to recover afterwards?
Not long. Almost as soon as he's out of the car he's ok.
OP posts:
Gizacluethen · 17/04/2022 15:59

I wait until DS is ready for a nap, or a little past nap time. Milk, dry nappy and white noise on loud. He also has a mirror on the headrest so he can see forward/behind him. He's a bit younger though.

mynameisigglepiggle · 17/04/2022 16:02

Does he forward face or rear face?

Lemondrop2 · 17/04/2022 16:02

DS was like this. We later found out that he had some problems with his vision, and I do wonder if there was a connection.

Marblessolveeverything · 17/04/2022 16:05

Mine are older and rear facing wasn't available past baby stage. Both had travel sickness and things improved when they went forward facing. Might be worth exploring any new travel sickness remedies I am assuming it's more common given kids facing rearward, safer as it is it may have triggered some new remedies.

NuffSaidSam · 17/04/2022 16:05

Have you tried putting him in the front? Obviously, turn off airbags etc.

I'd try any travel sickness remedies you haven't already tried.

Have you tried leaving his window a bit open? Fresh air/breeze may help.

Otherwise I would try going in the car very regularly, daily if you can. Start with short journeys and build up. He maybe just needs to get used to it.

Porcupineintherough · 17/04/2022 16:14

Is he forward facing? My eldest had travel sickness and it was the only thing that helped.

Genszlinger · 17/04/2022 16:17

Do you have air fresheners? Air out the car thoroughly so there’s no chemically smell?

Duckington · 17/04/2022 16:20

We had this for dd, it turned out we were a bit late in changing the setting on her car seat, and her tummy was squished.

She’s prone to trapped wind so that on top made for a very unhappy, and often sicky trip

Twizbe · 17/04/2022 16:40

Which way does he face?

If he's rear facing swap him round. I know many toddlers who hate the rear facing.

Original poster
crackerjackbaby · 17/04/2022 16:52

Thank you all for your thoughtful replies. He's forward facing.

OP posts:
Classicblunder · 17/04/2022 16:55

DS1 was like that. Our main solution was public transport which thankfully is not especially limiting in London. But we don't have a car anyway so the main impact was not renting a car that often for UK holidays. He grew out of it

Boxowine · 17/04/2022 16:56

My first son was like this. Nothing helped but time. You just have to grin and bear it until he outgrows it. It's very anxiety inducing, you just have to try and tune it out and remind yourself that they are not in danger and will be fine when the journey ends.

BertieBotts · 18/04/2022 08:36

Try blocking out the side window so he can't see the horizon rushing past at speed. So he can only look out of the front (back may be even better - remove the rear headrest).

Giraffesandbottoms · 18/04/2022 08:41

Can you ask him why he doesn’t like it if he’s verbal?

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