Staying with inlaws

[Leomonberet]

We’re staying with in-laws for the week. I get on pretty well with them and they’re very generous and amazing with our young kids. MIL is very regimented with meal planning and has soups and sandwich fillers etc all planned out for lunches and dinners all decided for the week. Obviously this is great and I can have a week off from having to cook but I feel quite frustrated! The kids aren’t great eaters (the youngest is being referred as he doesn’t eat much and is very small for his age) so I rotate a fairly balanced range of dinners I know they like and eat and every day they’ll have something with a carb I know they can eat plain if they don’t like the sauce or meat or whatever. I’ve offered to pick up some food for us and to cook on a couple of days but MIL insists she wants to do it all - I don’t want to be rude and just do it when they’ve bought food for us and she wants to be a good host. I want my children to eat whatever they’re given (my oldest isn’t too picky to be fair) but my youngest is so small I feel like every meal really counts and when he’s not eating because he doesn’t like the food it’s very worrying and frustrating. Shall I just pick up ingredients and make something for everyone to have one night?

No, I think that would be a bit rude given she’s already said no. I’d get a load of snacks - bread for toast, bananas, yoghurts, flapjacks etc and add those to the kitchen to tell her how much they snack and you don’t want to eat them out of home, then if they won’t eat her dinners then they won’t starve

OR let your husband deal with it

Could you just get different ingredients for the kids and the rest of you eat what mil is making

I’d kill for a MIL like this. Sit back and enjoy it!

It's very kind of your mil to have done this but I would buy whatever you think you need for the little one. Let them try what she's made, fair enough, but have something you know they'll eat as a back up. I understand you don't want to offend her but your child eating has to be the priority

Why don't you just ask (or DH can if you're not comfortable) if she can do a plain variation of each meal for the youngest?

No, you can’t do that when you’re staying in someone else’s house. It would be incredibly rude.

If you’re worried your ds isn’t eating enough then buy him some healthy snacks for in between meals and give him those.

It’s only a week, your ds will be fine.

You msy find your dc surprise you in a different environment. If they eat carbs how far wrong can she go?

It’s only a week, you’ll all survive.

@MyNameIsAngelicaSchuyler

I’d kill for a MIL like this. Sit back and enjoy it!

Absolutely!!

Thank you - all really good points. And great idea about snacks (I’m very tired and that idea hadn’t even occurred to me!) I thought I’d be slated for being ungrateful, it really is just because my youngest needs to eat!

I think it's fine to pick up snacks, and some things you know your youngest will eat incase if he doesn't do well with MIL meals.

My mil is awesome like this too! I barely lift a finger staying with them.

She always asks my opinion on what the kids will eat and will get different things for them (even though my kids aren’t even that fussy - she just likes to spoil them with their favourites).

I really don’t think she’d mind if I specifically asked her to buy some plain chicken or sausages or whatever it is you know your child will eat. She’d probably be a bit offended if I brought it with me though. Although things like snacks I doubt would be an issue.

And also yes priority is your child getting fed! Hopefully they’ll like grandmas cooking, but we all know how variable kids can be

I agree with the snacks, but could you also be honest about your child's issues so everyone is on board? It might stop any negative language being used etc about their diet.

I think it's too late now. But for next time, your DH needs to give your MIL a list of things that your kids will eat, so she can incorporate at least some of them. But you shouldn't go out and buy stuff now, that would be rude because she has said no.

Your children at your in-laws house may eat what they offer, let them try that 1st

Personally i think its more important that your child eats proper food for a week than snacks. If your MIL is a good host she should/would be asking what to get in for the kids. A weekend is fine for making up with snacks but not a week. Your husband needs to speak to his mother, as you would to yours. What is it with men that cant being themselves to communicate to.theiir parents

For the first day or two or I'd be tempted at mealtimes to emotionally unengage and see if you get lucky with the change of environment. You never know, kids are fickle. If after the meal little has been eaten then low key say is it okay if you make him some toast so he's not starving.
If he's still not eating the food after a couple of meals of this then it's easier to say to MIL, sorry, he's picky, I'll buy him some X, so that he's eaten something. Because she'll probably have seen it too. If nothing else it's an opportunity for him to try stuff that you haven't slaved over.