ABIU to send 2 year old to grandparents that have COVID

[Nightowl1989]

I'm a single parent and work nights, my employer has stated that you will be sacked after 3 periods of sickness in a 12 month period, I have had 3 as I have had 3 sick days since October last year.
My mum usually has my DD while I am in work and then drops her at her childminders early morning so I can sleep till the afternoon, but she tested positive 4 days ago and is still positive today. If she goes today she will have her from half 4 till tomorrow at 2pm as her childminder is closed due to the back holiday.
I feel awful sending her but there is nobody else that can have her and i can't risk losing my job.

How bad do children of her age who is generally fit and healthy get COVID when they get it?

AIBU should I just risk losing my job of 4 years?
Or is it okay as if I had it she would have to still live with me?

I literally don't have anyone I trust my DD is quite shy and she would be distraught going to someone she doesn't know all that well especially at bedtime. I did ask my Great Grandma who said she feels at 91 this would be too much for her which is understandable.
I'm going to ring and ask if they're in a position to swap my shifts but due to staffing issues the chances of this are slim to none. I have 1 friend that could have her but she wouldn't be able to stay there alll night and tomorrow till the afternoon as I need to sleep to go to work Monday night as I couldn't go to work not sleeping in 24hrs.
I'm very aware I need to leave this job its just so hard leaving the children you've formed bonds with and helped them achieve so much to be left with unfamiliar staff which can be scary for anyone but if you're blind or very high on the autism spectrum can be extremely scary, which is another reason I don't want to call in to work as they would be left with agency staff

You've been there 4 years....they cannot just sack you for 3 periods of absence. They can invite you to a sickness absence meeting and give you a verbal warning but I think that would be very harsh. I personally don't wouldn't send her to grandparents as the likelihood is your daughter will get it and pass it onto you (then you'll be off sick). You are entitled to time off to arrange alternative care for your child

I’d say as long as your mum feels fine to have her then let her.

Thanks for the advice, I'm going to ring work and ask them what they suggest :)

But your child will catch it, then you'll catch it, and you'll be off sick. I've just had four days off with Covid, it's not fun. It doesn't seem like a very good idea if they're so strict on sickness

Our three year old granddaughter didn't catch it when we continued to look after her, it's not an absolute given.

In these circumstances as your parents are day 5 I would let them have her as normal, and ask your parents to open windows, perhaps take her for a walk outside, not hug her etc.
seems the least worst option.

I'd be joining a union if I were you, and getting their advice, because I have a feeling your employer's policy is illegal.

In your position, I would seriously consider sending your dd to your parents. It sucks. But children, who have covid in the household have been going to school for months. And now there is zero testing. My main concern is bringing it to the childminder. How do they feel and how will you and the other parents manage if the cm becomes infected?

Yabu. You’re going to have even more sick days if you catch covid off your daughter.

Send her to your mum and then book 10 days off work for about 3-5 days time? Just in case you get it.

You already told the child minder your plan and she’s not made a fuss. Children who live in a house with relatives who are COVID positive have been allowed in my child’s school the last term when the rules changed so I don’t see what the issue with the child minder will be.
Lots of people, especially children have covid with no symptoms and since testing is not mandatory anymore, she could have been at the child minder’s place with a child who is positive without knowing.
If I was a single parent and my job was at risk and also I’ll lose that much money for not going in, I’ll definitely send her to your grand parents. I’ll ask if they can wear masks when around her and let her sleep in a different room if that’s not what they usually do just to minimise the chances of her getting it. People here are quick to call you selfish but they’ve not been in your shoes.

@OutlookStalking

Of you parents are feeling unwell I think its unfair to your parents to put this on them or make them feel responsible for you job.

I think you need emergency childcare/back up childcare. Have a look on the babysitter sites etc.

@OutlookStalking

Presumably the OPs parents are well enough.

Amazingly enough some people just don’t have layers of back up childcare, or the money to access expensive emergency childcare.

As long as your parents are OK, then do it OP, and then perhaps ask around for people willing to do emergencies swaps.

My 2yo had Covid a few weeks ago and she was so, so ill, I felt terrible for her. I had it and was totally fine. She ended up in hospital on IV antibiotics, ECG, chest x-ray as she had a secondary bacterial infection in her lung. Every time we go out now she asks if someone is going to ‘make a hole in her hand’, she was absolutely terrified at the dentist the other day. If I could go back and stop her from getting it I absolutely would. I feel for you with the work situation though, I don’t know what I’d do.

Absolutely understand that - we have no family care available and low income so compeltely "get" it. But if its pay for emergency childcare or lose your job Id do it!

Your employers are sacks of shit.
No. You shouldn't send your 2 year old to be looked after by sick grandparents. But when the alternative is either being fired or not having enough money to feed said child then what choice to you have? Real world actual choice not fantasy nothing has consequences choice.

It’s a crappy situation but in yours I would send the child to your mother’s yes as long as she was well enough and happy about it.
However that of course makes it more likely that the child and ultimately you, will get it.

If you have no choice, you have no choice.

I'm guessing DD's dad isn't around?

Emergency leave for dependents is what you need to take.

It's not absence so won't trigger disciplinary. Whereas if you catch Covid off your 2 year old you will.

www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants

You have a legal right to this op but it is unpaid. Better than disciplinary or Covid though.

@MolliciousIntent

I'd be joining a union if I were you, and getting their advice, because I have a feeling your employer's policy is illegal.

Absolutely this. I am no a lawyer (let alone one specialising in employment law) but if this not illegal, it bloody well should be

I never understand threads on here where people just fatalistically accept how shit our employment protection are in this country. How on earth is it acceptable to sack someone who has the bad luck to be ill for 3 days in a year?. It isn't even that much time off. Just because it is on 3 separate occasions, doesn't make it a lot of time off. Lots of people can be so sick they can't work for a day or two through no fault of their own and it is not unusual for people to be unlucky in any one year to have that happen a few times

We should have much better protections for sick leave in this county and I am not interested in any of that shite about 'productivity levels' Germany has better productivity levels than we do and they positively discourage workers from going to work if they are ill and support that policy with employer policies and sick pay that make this possible.

Instead in this country we get the government giving guidance aimed at making us feel guilty about spreading illness and employers making it impossible to follow that guidance. Why not make it the joint responsibility of both employers and employees to make sure illness is not spread, with sanction on employers who don't follow the guidance instead of always putting the onus on individuals?

Are you sure you’ll be sacked? Don’t you just move to first level warning.

What if someone had 3 car accidents. Would they still be sacked?

I'm sorry for your situation. It doesn't sound like there are many options for you. My three year old has just had COVID and was pretty poorly for a couple of days and is still very tired. Maybe to minimise the risk your mother could keep windows open and wash your child's hands very frequently. Hopefully she won't catch it. We all had COVID but my eldest son was fine.

Can your parents keep your dd until after your second shift?

I'd send her to your grandparents. If you're in England it's theoretically not an issue. If you work is threatening to sack you then they won't give two figs if you don't have childcare.

Are you sure you’ll be sacked?

The OPs dillema 8s that her childcare provider (grandparents) are slightly under the weather not that her or her daughter are sick. The employer won't care about this and she won't be entitled to time off if she can't find childcare.

We need to start ignoring the fact people have covid. Employers have been told by the government to ignore this and only consider whether the employee is well enough to work or not.