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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

We own our front gardens let’s use them!

221 replies

Bostonten · 17/04/2022 02:12

Why is everyone still snobby about the use of front gardens? With land being at a premium at the moment, why shouldn’t people use them as they wish without snobbery?

OP posts:
Insanelysilver · 18/04/2022 19:43

I know what you mean. My husband has suggested putting a small bench outside in our front garden but j feel like it might be weird to sit out the front.
I don’t know why I feel like that because it’s not like there are loads of cars or even people about as there are only a few houses in my road and it’s a no through road.

Sinthie · 18/04/2022 19:45

Is this a thing? Wouldn’t know. My house is detached.

TheBigFatMermaid · 18/04/2022 20:43

I have a bench in my front garden and use it all the time. I love it.
I have a front garden, then a bit at the side. Although it's detached, it is a corner house, so the side bit has never really felt like ours.

BarbaraofSeville · 18/04/2022 20:48

You can't generalise and say all front gardens aren't private.

Ours slopes down from the (very quiet) road and is long enough for 3-4 cars on the drive.

We had someone come to collect an eBay purchase the other day and he didn't even see us sitting out front until he was half way down the front path.

But I don't think a garden has to be 'private' to use it. Our old house was a back to back so only had a front so we didn't have much choice about which outside space we used.

Plus I think all this angst about what's acceptable behaviour is more a British thing. Wander around Mediterranean villages and you often see people sitting outside the street side of their houses, even when they have little or nothing in the way of a front garden.

Dumblebum · 18/04/2022 20:54

I’m not sure anyone thinks a front garden needs to be private to use it, more if they do have a private area, Ie the back garden, then they prefer to use that instead.

Personally I’ve no desire to sit out the front in full view of my neighbours and next to my drive, when I could be sitting out the back In private.

midsomermurderess · 18/04/2022 21:05

@pigsDOfly

You can't say 'tone deaf' because it's disablist language I learned on here yesterday.

Yes, I saw that yesterday and was rather puzzled by it. How is an inability to distinguish the difference between musical notes or tones a disability?

On that thread, someone with a deaf daughter to offence to 'tone deaf', connecting it with hearing loss/impairment (not sure about the language). Presumably she didn't know it's connected to music, not hearing.
Mirw · 18/04/2022 21:09

Please stop using the expression "tone deaf" to mean stupid people. You wouldn't use any other disability to mean stupid, so why use the term "deaf". 1 in 5 people in the UK are deaf to some extent and some people will be stupid but not due to their deafness. Using "deaf" in this way is so inconsiderate.

midsomermurderess · 18/04/2022 21:32

Tone deaf isn't used to mean stupid, if used when not refering to an inability to detect the difference between musical notes. It means lacking sensitivity to something being discussed, not picking up on the prevailing tone of a discussion. You not knowing what something means does not invalidate its use.

Dumblebum · 18/04/2022 21:51

I think some one said the other day on here that you shouldn’t say tone deaf and a few folks have jumped on it.

JonSnowIsALoser · 18/04/2022 22:14

Isn't the front garden where wheelie bins go? No matter how lovely the garden might be, I'd rather not relax next to a rubbish bin.

RampantIvy · 18/04/2022 22:17

@JonSnowIsALoser

Isn't the front garden where wheelie bins go? No matter how lovely the garden might be, I'd rather not relax next to a rubbish bin.
No. Ours are at the side by the kitchen door.
Petrarkanian · 18/04/2022 22:17

I've turned mine into an asparagus bed.

User5trillion · 18/04/2022 22:25

I grow veg in raised beds on my front garden. Its only small and really overlooked but my neighbours are all lovelt and friendly. My back garden isn't as sunny and is given over to the kids and dogs.

littlemisskt · 18/04/2022 23:07

There are restrictions on what we are and aren’t allowed to do in our front gardens attached to the deeds to our house - including not being allowed to put up fencing. So I prefer the safety of my back garden.

Snoopsnoggysnog · 19/04/2022 00:43

@JonSnowIsALoser

Isn't the front garden where wheelie bins go? No matter how lovely the garden might be, I'd rather not relax next to a rubbish bin.
Our council doesn’t have wheelie bins. We have a normal bin in our garage.
axolotlfloof · 19/04/2022 13:35

We have chickens, 2 sheds, a summerhouse, vegetable patch and a trampoline, in our front garden, but it is bigger than our rear garden, and surrounded by high hedging.
I understand why people wouldn't do this in an open front garden though. So because of privacy?

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 19/04/2022 13:40

My front has been paved for off street parking, we're on a busy bus route. My back garden is beautiful, 125 ft long, landscaped. Why would I sit out front?

yellowsuninthesky · 19/04/2022 14:08

Depending on the area/road concerned, it can sometimes be quite intimidating having to walk past houses when people (men) are sat in front gardens. They stare at you quite deliberately. I'm much happier if people use the back. Of course a lot of houses have front gardens that are fenced/hedged off and if you are in them you are not staring at anyone.

Zazdar · 19/04/2022 14:15

Isn't the front garden where wheelie bins go?

Not where I live.

jamdonut · 19/04/2022 15:00

@sashh

You can't say 'tone deaf' because it's disablist language I learned on here yesterday. You have to tell people to 'read the room'.

That depends, Deaf people see themselves as a linguistic minority, proud of their languages and culture.

They reject the tern, "hearing impaired" as that implies a deficiency rather than a complete Deaf person.

On the other hand deaf or deafened people usually associate with hearing culture.

OP

When council houses were first built the back gardens were large because they were intended for growing vegetables, front gardens were for flowers and there were prizes for the best front and best back gardens.

I call myself hearing impaired…. I have otosclerosis, which makes me progressively deafer. I started with 1 hearing aid, back in my early 30’s and now (at 57) , I have 2. Without them, I am pretty deaf, but can hear sounds of certain levels. With them, I hear reasonably well, so I would definitely call myself hearing impaired!
MrOllivander · 19/04/2022 15:03

I use my back garden - which is effectively my front/only garden Grin
It's on the pavement so no privacy and yes I'm going to use it

Snoopsnoggysnog · 19/04/2022 15:11

Would love to see photos of people’s front garden if they actually use them to sit out!

MrOllivander · 19/04/2022 15:16

@Snoopsnoggysnog

Would love to see photos of people’s front garden if they actually use them to sit out!
This is my "back" and only garden But you can see how close to the pavement it is (top of the pic)
We own our front gardens let’s use them!
Nanalisa60 · 19/04/2022 15:29

I use mine in the morning as that’s wear the sun is , I have a garden bench sit there with my coffee, I think the dog likes the front garden best as she can see people , can do a much better job at protecting the house then when she is at the back.

Nietzschethehiker · 19/04/2022 15:36

I do use mine the way I want. I park my car on it and I promise if you lived in an area like mine with crap parking it brings me a lot of joy not to have to argue with Gary down the road because he insists he needs to park 4 cars on the road for easy access and can just happily swoop into my front garden and no drama.

I think this is one of those faux bang the drum posts about how enlightened you are when in fact you are being judgy about what others do with their own homes. Use your garden if you wish, stop caring what others think and let them use theirs as they wish. You know you don't have to have others do the same to make it OK for you to do it right?