This is all rather childish imo but it has left me feeling quite upset.
Background: I went to a lesbian meet up with my friend a few months ago. I bought another one of the attendees a drink because I was going to the bar. I’ve never met this other attendee before and haven’t seen her since, and I have never intimated to my friend that I like this woman in the slightest. My friend asked me whether I liked her shortly after the event, and I said that she seemed nice enough but probably wasn’t my type, that is the sum total of conversation we have had about this woman, and that was ages ago.
The other night we were messaging, just chatting, and my friend said that she’d put in a word for me with this woman. I asked her what she meant and she said that she’d told her that I like her, and that she could vouch for me being a decent sort.
I was rather shocked, like I have said above, I’ve never mentioned this woman since the event and certainly never given the impression that I like her, so this completely blindsided me. I am a 40 year old woman, I’m not a teenager, and I was rather put out that she’d randomly told another woman, who I don’t even know and I’ve never shown any interest in, that I like her. Even if I did like her, I would approach her myself, I do not want my friends to be intermediaries.
I told my friend that she needed to message this woman back and say that she had made an error, and that none of this had come from me, and I was a little bit put out that sheet told her that. I wasn’t nasty, I just told her straight out that I was confused and a bit annoyed as I’d never mention this woman even. I think what worried me is that this woman is a part of a large meet up group who I’ve only met a couple of times. They all know each other but none of them know me, and I didn’t want this being talked about in case it made any meet up in the future awkward. I don’t get to attend these meet ups often but I do enjoy them, and I didn’t want it to be compromised, and quite frankly I don’t want people thinking I’m The sort of childish person who gets my mates to ask people out on my behalf. My friend agreed and said that she’d messaged and relayed what I’d said.
I messaged this woman myself just to say that I think my friend had got confused somehow and that it hadn’t come from me, and I felt a bit embarrassed so to please disregard. She responded that she’s not really took much notice of it, and that she’s a private person and wouldn’t talk so don’t worry. We exchanged a few pleasantries over message and all was fine. It was all perfectly friendly and civil, no slagging off, all very mature.
I went on messenger the next morning to tell my friend that I’d sorted things out with this woman and everything was fine and she’d blocked me.
It really upset me, as far as I’m concerned I didn’t do anything wrong, the whole thing came right out of the blue and I don’t think I was unreasonable to be a little bit put out. I wasn’t angry with her or nasty with her, I was just confused and a bit WTF? As far as I was concerned it was all dealt with, we would have been laughing about it, but instead she’s blocked me and I’m left feeling rather hurt and confused.
This wasn’t me was it? I mean I don’t think it was, but I’m always second-guessing myself. I may have slightly overreacted but it shocked me and I felt embarrassed, but I didn’t cause the situation and I wasn’t nasty about it. I guess I’m just looking for a bit of reassurance, and if I did handle it badly, what should I have done instead?