AIBU for thinking about death?

[GoadyToady]

Not wilfully but it’s something that’s on my mind.

Both my partner and I are happily childfree and that isn’t going to change. We are also both only children so no family to outlive us like nieces and nephews etc.

What happens when we die though? We both need to make wills I know, we will probably leave everything to charity. However, when we are eligible we are looking at getting equity release on out outright owned house. Will this cause the charity a ,assign headache?

I don’t want to put the burden of arranging a funeral etc on any of my friends so what do I do? I know there are direct cremation services which I can sign up for but who would contact them to let them know I am dead? I have a nightmare of being one of those people who lies dead for weeks before anyone notices?

I also know from experience that being an executor of a will is a massive pain, do I appoint a solicitors firm?

I’m sorry for the morbid AIBU on a beautiful Saturday but it’s just something that’s recently popped into my head. Also I know there’s a lot of us childfree on here so maybe it will help them too.

Not sure how it works where you are but, in my area, if you die without someone to take responsibility council will make sure you are buried somewhere. At that stage of life you'll probably also have senior friends who will be aware of each other and keeping an eye out for each other.

Anyone else?

No younger friends?

This is the sort of thing Death Cafes were set up to discuss. Is there one in your area?

I think you can appoint a solicitor to see to these things. Put them down as next of kin if you end up in hospital etc.

I'd suggest you and DP go to see a solicitor and seek advice on each making a Lasting Power of Attorney for Property & Affairs appointing each other as attorney, with either a friend or a solicitor (pick a young 'un as it's a personal appointment so you need them to outlive you!) as "replacement attorney" in case DP dies first or becomes incapacitated. Register the LPA and then anyone who needs to find it can search for it in future via the Office of the Public Guardian (form OPG100.) In your wills you can appoint "the partners in the firm of Sue, Grabbit & Run" which means whoever are partners at the time the estate needs to be administered can be executor, hence it's future proof. Good idea to mention equity release plan when making will. Funeral wishes can be included in the will or just written down and kept with your important papers. Doesn't help with the "nobody noticing" scenario but you sound very considerate and I'm sure you'll have friends/neighbours looking out for you when the time comes (at a point a long, long way in the future )Good luck.

@RedHelenB

No younger friends?

Plenty, but I’m not putting this on a friend!

Thank you so much for the more helpful responses.

Please look at what you are signing when you sign up to equity release. My family are having a nightmare selling a property which had equity release. It also meant relative couldn't downsize when ill and afford a smaller place so ended up in a large house, alone but only living in one room (couldn't even get out the house) - yet paying large utility bills and having to employ a gardener and cleaner for areas of the home they didn't see in the last 5 years.
Regarding funerals etc you can assign a solicitor. They can also advise on how to give to charity. I'd start with legal advice. Also what about a power of attorney is this something that you would be happy to ask a friend to do?
Re direct cremation I've put in my will that this is what I want however I have said if my dc/friends wish they could have a memorial service. Gives them options without the need to organise a funeral.

Be very careful about leaving everything to a charity. The most popular charity in the country were utter shits when a friend died. Delayed on everything, wouldn’t pay for (release funds) for embalming etc.

I'd do it for my closest friends.