WWUD? Friend of 20+ Years Stopped talking to me

[Booboobagins]

I offered my friend of w0 yrs a job. It paid £75k pa, probably biggest salary she'd ever earnt.

Things were good but co got into probs so I cut my hours to 2 days a week by taking on a contract. This meant we couldn't easily talk so i siggested we look at how we could talk ie fix some time in diary. She asked to go part time too.

All sounds fine, right? Wrong.

I asked her what hours she wanted to work, she said I should propose something. I said well I'll put something together around my new commitments but let's talk - I have to admit her behaviour in turning things back on someone else versus make a decision used to drive me nuts.

I put the plan together - her hours were varied to fit around my commitments. I wasn't precious about anything, I just had regular commitments in my new contract so wanted to make sure we avoided clashes.

She blew her stack, called the CEO and agreed the hours she wanted to work with the CEO - why she didnt tell me the hours she wanted, who knows. The CEO gave me a hard time about it all.

I then walked away from the business I cofounded with the CEO and got on with other things. CEO asked for my Mac. I said of course, I'll meet with my friend to hand over. She refused to meet me socially and I couldnt take time out of my working day to meet her - we live about 80miles apart. Mac is still at my house, 18m later.

Anyways I messaged her a few weeks later - bear in mind my friend previously messaged and called me daily. She barely said 10 words back.

We haven't communicated since.

One other factor in here is we're both chemists. She has a lot more exp than I. She recommended we went down an improved quality route to improve on what we had, which I initially agreed with, but we got failure after failure test results, so I said the only diff between what we had and what we now have is better quality so we needed a lumpy formulation for it to work. She disagreed. This happened all around the same time I reduced my hours - it was tge cause of tge probs in tge company. We never got performance back to where it was. The company is now likely to fold.

I don't really miss her, her life was one big drama but 20 years is a long time. What would you do?

I'd walk away.

Sounds like she has so not much you can do anyway.

Plus, from what you write, it seems you don't like/respect her.

Wait. You say she has wrecked a successful company that you were co founder of and you wonder why you aren't still friends?

Sorry OP. That really doesn't make any sense.

Think you are confusing issues. Your "friendship" and the stepping back from the business. It is not up to your friend to facilitate return of equipment, that is between you and ceo. You come across as if she owes you something for introducing her and duration of "friendship" but it was a business arrangement. You chose to blur boundaries and it seems you are now put out by how things have developed. Accept the relationship has cooled.

Absolutely nothing.
You brought her into the company then she managed you out of the company.
She introduced new working methods into the company which in your view have contributed to the company's downfall. You left 18mths ago and the failing of the company cannot be attributable to you.
You don't miss her all that much.
I'd be inclined to a smug little smile before getting on with my life.

I'd do nothing. What needs to be done?

She has already ended the friendship (rightly or wrongly, hard to tell from your OP), so you don't need to do anything except move on.

Courier your Mac back to the company who own it. I don’t think you need to do anything about the friendship - it has run it’s course.

You offered her a job in your own company, which then went a bit tits up? You asked her what new arrangement would be suitable and she said that was for you to propose? Then she went to the boss to sort it out? Then you left and the company (which you co-founded) wanted its computer back and you wanted to give it to her to take back?
And you're the offended one?

The friendship muddies the issue but basically she was taken on with a company, for a job that seemed very good and turned out not to be. She ends up having to go over the head of her ?line manager (you) to know what hours she's supposed to do and is then expected to fetch that person's computer when she leaves?

I imagine, if the above is the correct interpretation, she wishes she'd never met you, professionally or personally. Sounds like she's been taken for a ride.

Did she ever get the salary she was promised?

I'd be interested to hear her side of the story

But, either way, you can't force a friendship