Online dating… does anyone actually want to meet anyone?!!

[Confuddledandmuddled]

So I have ventured into the world of online dating. I swore I wouldn’t but needs must and all 🙄. So I have a good number of likes and I match with a few people (I think I’m relatively fussy but I think you need to be online dating?) But they seem to message once and that’s it?? My messages back are generally very light hearted and just answer their question and I normally ask them one or two questions… but that seems to be it? No reply?? It’s very strange. Is it just a numbers game?? Or is there some online etiquette that I am not privy to???!
Tbf though the one date I have been on was erm… disappointing to say the least and so maybe it’s not a bad thing 🤣!!!

I met DH through OLD 11 years ago. Married for 9 years with 2 DC now.
It was hard work at the time although I did have fun. Had some lovely dates and met some great people. Still FB friends with some of them now.
Just go into it with an open mind and don't expect too much. Good luck 😀

Tried online dating after ending a ten year relationship.

First online date was fun, few drinks and a laugh, didn’t go anywhere.

Second online date was my husband

Well these massages are positive I suppose!!! I’m not looking for my husband, I’ve been married and have 2 kids already. But I would like a partner (I’m only 34 and so relatively young)
People just message me and then when I reply they don’t seem to message back. I’m very socially aware and I’m not putting anything intense or odd, and so I wondered if that was normal for online dating?! Bloody minefield 🙄

I went on loaaaaaaaaads of online dates until I met my husband. Are you asking them if they want to meet up in the initial message? If you are, that might explain why they aren’t getting back to you.

No op. Its not you. It's a minefield.

Be patient OP. I had similar experience when I started OLD but after a while it gets better and when someone didn't reply, I'd just delete them.
After about two years on and off and meeting some lovely people and some horrible people, I finally met my husband.
Good luck OP!

I tried it years ago and really couldn't get to grips with it. I had a couple of really disastrous dates with men who were not compatible at all. It was all so new at that point so I had no idea what I was doing!

I ended up meeting DP at work but lots of my friends now are in LTR with people they met through OLD, I think you just have to be patient and weed out the weirdos. I have heard the sites you chose are important too and some are much better than others.

Yes, it's the equivalent of a kid in a sweet shop. They constantly feel the need to swipe on to see what other sweets are on offer, and you eventually just get lost and forgotten amongst all the other equally baffled sweets! I'm not saying it doesn't work, but it rarely works, and it's very painful.

I tried online dating about 6 years ago. My experience was mostly the same as yours but there was this one guy who sent my an interesting message and asked questions showing he’d read my profile and we chatted quite a bit. Fast forward to now I’m up feeding our 6 week old baby while he snores in the spare room! A lot of people do see it as a numbers game but you only need to meet that one person who you click with so I’d say persevere and don’t take the slightly weird behaviour personally.

I used OLD for a couple of years and had to be very determined! Eventually met my partner who is wonderful.

Sort out a system. Once matched follow with a couple of short, upbeat messages. Move onto WA, then suggest a video phone call - nothing rude! Then if all looks good - coffee!

If zero response after a match then you have had a lucky escape. Plenty of time waster, players and men stoking their egos.

But, I had lots of fun, sometimes plus I couldn't be happier with N ... who I met on Tinder

I did OLD after being separated from my exH for 4 years. It completely destroyed any shred of confidence I might have had and took me about a year to get myself back on track. It's definitely like a kid in a sweet shop mentality, there is always something better out there. You meet someone you really click with and it turns into ghosting, love bombing, or they're just not feeling it. I met men with kids who didn't want to meet someone who had kids, which seemed a bit hypocritical to me. I had inappropriate messages, where someone told me he wanted to tie me to his bed, and I had people imply that I'm not worth talking to unless I was going to have sex. It made me feel like I was completely worthless and would never find someone who loves me. Everyone told me that OLD was how everyone was doing it, so the fact I couldn't meet someone obviously meant there was something wrong with me. I came off it, sorted myself out, and met DP through a friend. I wouldn't recommend OLD to anyone.

I've been online dating on and off for years. It's definitely changed post Covid. I used to date a lot and now I never seem to get things to the WhatsApp stage, never mind actually seeing them face to face. This is definitely a big shift. I've met my last two partners OLD so have known success with the process, but there has definitely been a shift this time round in terms of people not responding or ever offering to actually meet. Rubbish to see the changes are not for the better, in a situation that was already challenging enough!

It depends, some people are on there to fluff their ego, others are already in relationships but like the chat and/or are testing the waters before they find someone risk ruining their marriages over, some turn to online dating as they are very shy and so find it hard to make the leap between talking and meeting, others chat to many people at one time and find it hard to arrange to meet them Others are genuine but need to sift through a lot of crap first.

Most of my friends and I met our husbands on various apps over the last 5-10 years

I absolutely agree with not wasting too much time chatting before meeting. Some people are total time wasters

My experience is time wasters. After three people all bailed on meeting I have given up.

So relieved to read these messages!! Im only matching with someone if they seem normal in their little write ups and I think they’re relatively attractive. And generally they have matched with me and I’ve accepted them. And so I can’t understand this ‘one message’ mentality!!!!
To the poster who asked if I was asking to meet up in the first message then definitely not!!! I usually answer their question and then ask one or two, very light hearted and fun messages - nothing serious!
To me I’m on there because I want to meet someone… I think I assumed most people on there would feel the same.
Nice to hear some positive stories coming out of online dating… if I’m prepared to stick it out for 2 years and meet a lot of odd people in the process 🤣!!!

*one or two lighthearted questions that was meant to read

Just chatting with N re. OLD and his sage advice is write what you want not what you don't want! Also, he appreciated that I was to the point .... plus he liked the variety of pictures over time not just selfies

I met my partner 10 years ago this month. Had been dating on there for about a year and had about 40 different dates.
It is a numbers game though but just persevere with it.

It's definitely not just you OP! I recommend reading the book Block, Delete and Move On by LaLaLaLetMeExplain, she has some very good insights into navigating it all :)