DH does too much around the house.

[folly115]

So does anyone else have a husband that does TOO MUCH around the house/garden? I am yet to meet anyone in real life who has this problem. My friends think he is the best husband ever as their partners have to be asked 1000 times to do anything to do with the house!

He is burning himself out from doing too much. He doesn't stop he enjoys it - in fact he is never happier than when cleaning. hoovering, gardening, making the house and garden immaculate. But come 7pm he is absolutely exhausted he is really grumpy refuses to talk to the kids and dinnertimes -as they have been for 15 yrs - are so stressful because he wants peace and quiet after his busy day. He then showers and goes to bed at 9pm but now the kids are teens he gets really cross as they keep him awake.

He says we dont appreciate all he does for us. If it wasn;t for him we would live in a tip. But we wouldn't we would live in a normal lived in house. I suggested going out for lunch tomorrow and he listed all the jobs HE has do tomorrow, - change the washer on a tap, iron the shirts that have come off the line today, paint the wall in the small bathroom as there are finger marks, wash and shine the 4 bikes, trim the front hedge and go to B and Q to buy more shit he needs to do these jobs.

None of these are important jobs but to him they are vital. I know most people will say I am so lucky having him do all these jobs without moaning but I would love a day out altogether. When we do go out for a meal or a walk he is always thinking what has to be done at home.

He never watches TV or socialises but he says it isn't because he doesn't want to. He says he physically doesn't have the time and because I would rather go out or do something out of the house when not at work that is why there is always so much to do.

Omg as I am writing this he has decided that the fridge needs cleaning! before he goes to bed!!!

Surely this isnt normal!!!

Something dawned on me today yesterday at dinner - because since the kids were born we have canrarely eat dinner together because it is so stressful as my DH is always grumpy and tired.

My husband constantly has to be doing things. He always makes sure he available for the babies bath and bed time tho. I'm sure he has undiagnosed autism. He gets stuck on getting a task done at all costs. He will push himself so hard. He also get fixed on things and they bother him for ages. Even tho they are generally normal things like stream from cooking/babies steriliser.

My husband has anxiety and he will limit our day by saying he needs to do certain jobs and he has to allow 2 hours for cooking tea. It means we can never go far which feeds in to his anxiety and is a way for him to stay in control

My ex was similar, probably had OCD. Was super annoying. Could never just relax after work or on the weekends, always had to be doing something. And usually not anything enjoyable either.

I have a (female) friend who is like this. She says she just can't relax if the house isn't perfect. The problem is that when two adults, two children and a dog live in a house it's never perfect. She gets in from work and literally cleans until it's bed time. She and her husband pretty much lead separate lives.