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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Can I ask how Covid has changed you

220 replies

oldandscunnered · 15/04/2022 19:54

I do conveyancing and since the pandemic the property market has gone through the roof. Lots of people moving to surrounding islands (on the West coast of Scotland). They are mostly southerners who do not want to live in crowded places. People also want a garden. For me it's made me realise life is short and I want to see as much of the world as I can while I can. I am going three holidays this year to different places abroad. They are not that expensive but I'm doing it now in case I can't in the future. What have you all changed?

OP posts:
GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 15/04/2022 19:55

Nothing has changed really.

Cotherstone · 15/04/2022 20:01

The only positive change is that we finally got fed up of our old house and found the energy to sell and move, love our new place.

But realistically… It’s not been positive changes. I’m more bored and lacking concentration to do anything. I’m a bit more dissatisfied with stuff but don’t have the energy to change it. Like my job - I’m bored, I don’t think I’m being allowed to reach my potential but then… I can’t be arsed to start a new one.

It’s like that deep, soul destroying ennui hit at some point during the first lockdown and I just haven’t had the energy to find a way to pull myself out of it.

I highly suspect I’m not alone here

NothingIsWrong · 15/04/2022 20:03

I ended up suicidal during the first lockdown. No one cared. I should have been more resilient apparently, and forget about mental health care, or any medical care really. I can't forget how it felt to want to die and now my relationship is faltering and I'm not great at trusting anyone. I still can't get appropriate care as I am no longer actively suicidal, and still no one really cares.

Fuck resilience.

Babdoc · 15/04/2022 20:06

Well I got long Covid right at the start of the pandemic, and have been disabled by it for two years. Instead of being full of energy and busy with activities, I have to limit what I can do in order to avoid relapses where I am stuck on the sofa, fatigued and breathless.

Artesia · 15/04/2022 20:08

@Cotherstone

The only positive change is that we finally got fed up of our old house and found the energy to sell and move, love our new place.

But realistically… It’s not been positive changes. I’m more bored and lacking concentration to do anything. I’m a bit more dissatisfied with stuff but don’t have the energy to change it. Like my job - I’m bored, I don’t think I’m being allowed to reach my potential but then… I can’t be arsed to start a new one.

It’s like that deep, soul destroying ennui hit at some point during the first lockdown and I just haven’t had the energy to find a way to pull myself out of it.

I highly suspect I’m not alone here

This sounds really familiar- I feel vaguely bored and dissatisfied but can’t quite put my finger on why. Can’t shake it, and I know it’s upsetting my DH, who has commented on how muted and negative I am. Feel as though I’ve lost my joy,
ConfusedByDesign · 15/04/2022 20:11

I’ve become very cynical

EmmaH2022 · 15/04/2022 20:12

@NothingIsWrong

I ended up suicidal during the first lockdown. No one cared. I should have been more resilient apparently, and forget about mental health care, or any medical care really. I can't forget how it felt to want to die and now my relationship is faltering and I'm not great at trusting anyone. I still can't get appropriate care as I am no longer actively suicidal, and still no one really cares.

Fuck resilience.

Sorry to hear this When I read the title, I thought, does the poster mean Covid or lockdown.

I had similar to you. Disease is always present. Lockdown is not something I expect to recover from. I think mum probably doesn't have long left with her health and age. I wouldn't be at all surprised to fade away when she's gone.

I still enjoy some things for sure but I feel it was a last straw. I can't have more taken away from me and continue to cope.

Atmywitsend29 · 15/04/2022 20:12

I can't take a full breath, I get chest pains, and my sense of taste and smell never recovered and now I have parosmia.
I also quit healthcare and completely changed my career.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 15/04/2022 20:12

Oooo oooo I thought of something.

I no longer call the GP for anything, can never get through anyway and no point turning up as the doors are bolted. Lots of ongoing issues which I'm just ignoring.

aramox1 · 15/04/2022 20:14

So bored. Lost touch with friends, spent way too much time with family and at home, can't be arsed to try anything new.

SuzyQ12 · 15/04/2022 20:14

I am now more cynical and angry

EmmaH2022 · 15/04/2022 20:15

In terms of what I've changed, I do spend on nice things now.
Any comforts really. No longer fussed about losing weight. Seem to have started smoking a couple a day.

I have no sense of morality. That's quite freeing I guess, though I preferred life before.

JADS · 15/04/2022 20:15

@Cotherstone Yes I recognise that feeling. I wondered if it was just my age, like a mid life crisis or something.

@Babdoc So sorry to hear this. So unfair.

EmmaH2022 · 15/04/2022 20:16

@GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat

Oooo oooo I thought of something.

I no longer call the GP for anything, can never get through anyway and no point turning up as the doors are bolted. Lots of ongoing issues which I'm just ignoring.

X post - ditto.
Weewillywinkle · 15/04/2022 20:16

Almost Everyone I know (including myself) seems less resilient after 2 years of this shit show. I work in the nhs so I think we all feel ground down with no light at the end of the tunnel. We all seem stressed.

It feels like a lot of the joy and sponteanity has been sucked out of life.

I'm about 2 stone heavier. I got fatter each lockdown / isolation and could shake it off after.

I also have a new symptom of a migraine - burning nose/ throat which I feel is post covid.

I'm not finding any positives!

user1471543094 · 15/04/2022 20:23

Half of my family don't speak as they have different beliefs re covid (conspiracy v total fear). I can't see how we will recover.
One family member has invested so much in the world falling apart that the only thing that will make them happy is it actually happening so they can say Told You So.

Agree to a feeling of discontent. I also want to change jobs and feel I am not reaching potential but am afraid to as everything went to shit so quickly 2 years ago.

Everyone and everything just seems so flat. Even when I am happy I feel nervous or uneasy or something?

Howmuchwood · 15/04/2022 20:23

I have bouts of complete apathy and then other bouts of anxiety which mean I can't sleep for days at a time. I've lost touch with nearly all my friends, I hate my job since it went fully remote and am not sure where my future lies. Its grim. 3 years ago I was so optimistic and full of energy and motivation. Now i just scrape through each week and collapse every weekend. I hate myself for it. The only thing that keeps me going is my DC

user1471543094 · 15/04/2022 20:24

Also fatter.

MissChanandlerBong80 · 15/04/2022 20:27

I stay at home much more. It’s almost like I’ve become a bit afraid of the outside world.

SpringRainbow · 15/04/2022 20:30

My relationship is practically over, just don’t have the energy to actually do anything about it.

I have concerning symptoms which I have been ignoring for months. I can’t be bothered to try and navigate the NHS system.

I just have no headspace to fight anyone or anything.

Lozzak21 · 15/04/2022 20:35

I had 2 babies in the pandemic. I developed germ ocd, have not spoken to my dad for 2 years over differing covid views. My best friend dropped me because I didn't want to meet up while pregnant and not fully vaccinated but took it personal and didn't understand and I'm also no longer invited by some friends to social gatherings because I had to cancel a few because I felt vulnerable and now they don't bother.
Being home makes me feel safe but also contributes to my neurosis that drives my dh mad. Our relationship has suffered.
At least I have my babies though. It's been hard to differenciate what's normal pandemic response or post natal anxiety. It's been tough.

Unanananana · 15/04/2022 20:36

I'm definately more cynical. In any situation now, (illness, cost of living etc) I only think of the impact on my immediate family and I give less than two fucks about strangers and what they think of me. I followed all the rules, we are all vaccinated and I just want to get on with my life.

At work, noone would think me any different to before. I'm not outwardly rude and I will try and help but I'm not really interested in listening to customers struggles and complaints. It alls feels so petty after what we've just lived through. I'm not the only one at my workplace that feels this way. I'm planning a career change.

On the flip side, I relish the time I do get with my small amount of friends. I am enjoying being able to physically go into work and the DC are thriving being back at school. I did put on weight but lost it again plus a little more. I do need a hobby.

niceupthedanceagain · 15/04/2022 20:37

I've realised I don't want to carry on friendships or talk to my mum - less tolerance for being taken advantage of

Also harder to find the big kind of joy, only joy in small things these days which is ok I suppose.

But on the plus side I am no longer invested in mindless spending on frivolous items, fashion, make up, etc no more full head of highlights. That's not what life is about.

QuebecBagnet · 15/04/2022 20:40

I’ve got used to my own space. Dropped some friends

Got back into cycling. Work life balance has got worse as I wfh a lot and feel like I’m never off

5128gap · 15/04/2022 20:40

My theory about the feelings of boredom and dissatisfaction which I have too, is that I got through the last two years marking time, counting the days through the LDs, waiting for the big moment when it would all be great again.
Life was rubbish, everyone knew it, nothing we could do, but it was temporary and we could keep our eyes on the prize.
Unfortunately I think for a lot of people the prize couldn't possibly live up to the build up. Life post covid is pretty much as it was pre covid, but a bit more rubbish. And after waiting so long, I'm feeling a bit let down.