2 dcs, separated 8 years ago and he moved to the other side of the county back to his parents when we separated. Eldest dc has autism, ex has zero involvement in this and I try my best for my son as a lone parent
Usual circumstances are that dcs travel to ex's every other weekend. He collects them and drops them back off - I was meeting him half way at one time however I found my backbone and realised I shouldn't be doing this as it's not up to me to help him see his dcs when he has no involvement in anything and offers me no support as an sen parent.
He works for a well known courier company. It's always been crap for the dcs, he's self employed but is contracted to the company. Between October and Xmas day - he comes and sees them every other Sunday as he has to work. Today he's told me his days off are changing and he will only get Sundays off which mean he will come and see them every other Sunday.
He will get here about 10.30 and drop them back off at 3.30.
I haven't bothered to reply to his message as that's just the way it is. He won't change. He refuses to look for another job.
Aibu to feel sad for my dcs? It's going to be yet another change for my autistic dc. He finds it hard not seeing his dad. My dd also does however as she's growing up - I don't think she will really want to go see him as much now anyway but it definitely has a negative effect on DS.
Aibu to also feel that it means I get now zero time to myself? I love my kids. I live for them but with an sen child and doing it alone - I really need a breather at times!
If I broach the subject with him he says he needs to work to pay my maintenance. £100 per week - not complaining about that, it's a decent amount and it's more than many fathers give.
Dcs go to their dads in school holidays only if his mum and dad can get the time off work. I have no idea what he does with his own holidays.
What would you write as a reply? Or am I being unreasonable to be pissed off yet again with him?