To find buying a house so so stressful?!

[Jaggerdagger]

In the middle of it all right now. First time buyer, feel like a fish out of water. My anxiety levels are constantly sky high and I know that at any point it could all fall through. Please tell me I'm not being overdramatic... It's bloody hard, isn't it?

It's horrible. Luckily you don't have to do it too often!

Hang on in there - you can do it!

Yup it's grim. It's supposed to be up there with death and divorce as one of the major life stresses. Good luck, one day it will be done and you will be a home owner!

It can be so stressful but try not to overthink it and get obsessed about it (much easier said than done!). I didn’t take my own advice, made myself ill with worry but it all worked out fine in the end. Good luck!

It's horrible, I hate the house I'm in but I'd rather suffer in it my entire life than buy again

Most stressful experience of my life and I've had kids, got married, divorced. And we weren't even in a chain in either direction, however most of the stress was solicitor caused.

There's a property board full of fellow sufferers usually

I moved a year ago. It took 9 months, as my first 3 buyers pulled out. It was more stressful than my divorce!
The good think is that I'm happy in my new home and the process of getting here feels like s very distant memory. Good luck!

I 'sold' my house last year. My buyer had sold her property in London & I was buying an empty bungalow. Except it wasn't empty, it had a family member ensconced as a sitting tenant. The sale fell apart in January. Then my dad had a heart attack. 🙄
And I'm a carer for my mum who's had a stroke & a major op. I was so stressed with it all, I got back to back chest infections. I've now taken the house off the market and am decompressing. It's been a really shite year.. 🙄🤦🏼‍♀️

Yep, also in the middle of it. Selling due to my divorce. Having to buy a project as its all I can afford. Solicitors make the whole thing way more stressful than it needs to be.

Horrendously stressful. I was in my last trimester of pregnancy, had pre-eclampsia, and was quite literally being shown my bed for my c-section while reminding my DH he needed to send an email to the estate agent. We exchanged week 2 of having a newborn. You just have to take everything one step at a time I guess.

Top tip pay more for a good solicitor. I'm so glad we did. All the stress we created for ourselves because we just didn't know the process but having a really good solicitor did make things much easier.

Buying my flat was one of the most stressful things I’ve ever done, and that was with no chain & no competition.

It’s so worth it though.

God yeah. I never do the chain thing. I sell, move into rented, then cash buy. That's less stressful but my kids are grown ups.

Yes certainly one of the most stressful things in life. One of the few events where the impact is so significant (eg being homeless, living in the wrong place, access to schools) but you also have so little control over aspects of the process.

Everyone distrust and resents everyone else involved, disaster can strike at any moment - and the whole thing can take the best part of a year

Also the sums of money are of course bananas, casually negotiating in buckets of ten thousand pounds

It is hard to relax especially the first time around given the voyage into the unknown, but just try and take solace in the fact no-one is enjoying it and it feels the same for everyone involved

Tbh the whole thing needs reform in the UK - the seller should provide all the surveys to all prospective buyers, then any offers are legally binding so once offer is accepted - it is a done deal. Not the months of nonsense, searches, gazumping, surveys, chains etc

Good luck!

It's such a soul crushing time. I don't really do stressed and generally get on with things but moving home is made far more difficult than it should be by a huge number of things; sellers or buyers being unreasonable, the gamble of whether the mortgage company will lend to you, the surveyor advising that you're buying a falling down wreck and on top of that you have piss poor communication from the EA and solicitor, alleged professionals.

We didn't move in over 15 years as I couldn't put myself through it. When we finally decided to move, it was pretty traumatic, we ended up homeless for 4 months. Now we're in, I'm not moving until we retire.

Its a bloody nightmare. Especially when you are selling as well.
I've done it several times and each time I swear it will be different and each time I end up tearing my hair out.

It’s horrendous.

good luck..

What is the hold up or problem is your purchase op? There are loads of knowledgeable people on Mumsnet so you may be able to get some good advice. I know I have in the past.

God yes. We were first time buyers last year, no chain and even at the time we knew everything was going as smoothly as it possibly could, and it was still an experience I don't want to repeat.

Luckily DP and I were most stressed by completely different aspects of it (him: waiting indefinitely for answers to various things and for various processes to happen, the constant uncertainty when things were out of our hands; me: making gigantic decisions about things that were not in my wheelhouse; anything practical or logistical). So when one of us was going out of our mind the other was usually in a calmer place.

Something I found difficult was the constant shopping around to find the best solicitor, broker, surveyor, electrician etc etc etc, all without any real knowledge to base that decision on. What I found invaluable was picking the brains of various friends who'd also been recent buyers, and literally just copying what they did and who they hired.

Also found it so hard to juggle with everyday life/work. Every important phone call seemed perfectly timed to come at the busiest and most time-sensitive work moment of the week. When it came to the actual move I ringfenced two weeks where I knew I'd be so busy that I couldn't cope with moving and obviously we were left with no choice except those two weeks. (I coped. It was shit.)

Actually in retrospect all the depressing viewings were the worst bit. You see so many places that involve some sort of annoying compromise and you begin to think you'll just have to accept that. It's worth holding out for something you really love though.

My DD has just put an offer in on her first flat. When her offer was accepted she was so excited but she is very sensible and keeps saying she knows it could go tits up at any moment so is trying to be levelheaded.
My worry is she overthinks everything and has suffered with anxiety in the past but two of her friends have bought and are helping her with the steps.
I have everything crossed it will go through smoothly. At least she won't be homeless if it takes ages as she lives with us.

FTB here, too (I used to own a house with exH, but now am classed as FTB again). Yes, there are stressful aspects, but I made my life as easy as possible by doing as little shopping around as possible -

I went with my own bank's mortgage, which meant that I did not have to do much in terms of paperwork there as they already had all my details, including all transfers over the years, proof of income etc. They also arranged any surveys.

I went with the EA's recommended solicitors, which means that every time they don't pull their fingers out of their asses to actually work or don't answer my emails I can annoy the sales progressor, who is still keen on the commision they'll earn once the sale is completed. Part of the EA's advertising is about the solicitors losing business with them if they don't work well, so that puts extra pressure on them.

I insist on communication via email so I need to deal with as little annoying phone call chasing as possible.

And tbf I am enjoying the fact that lockdown meant pretty much all meetings are now virtual and I don't have to drive to places to speak to people in person. Meetings are scheduled and take place exactly when they should - no waiting around.

So while the uncertainty is still there, I am now in the final stages of the process with generally far less stress than the last time where all the different people we had to deal with made life more complicated than it needed to be.

What holds solicitors up the majority of the time is Land Registry. Solicitors do a hell of a lot of work on conveyancing compared to EA and get paid considerably less. Conveyancing is also v high risk work due to the huge amounts of money involved. There is a massive lack of understanding of the Legal side from EA and Clients. Having worked in a Solicitors for many years. It is a long and complicated procedure and I have never in all my time met a Solicitor that sat on their arses not doing anything. One mistake on their part can mean a claim against the eye watering indemnity insurance and being able to take out the insurance again in the future.
it is very stressful I know I am in the thick of it too atm but you just have to realise there is a process that needs to follow. Don’t call your Solicitor every 2 mins, they are incredibly busy. You aren’t their only client and the more people that are calling you are pulling them away from actually doing their Legal work.

Yup, it's horrible. We're in our second home and both times it's been unbelievably stressful. However, when that wonderful moment comes and you get the call to say you've completed and the house is yours you can finally breathe a sigh of relief and realise it's all been worth it. I loved that moment both times! When we were FTB, it was just such a novelty to walk in without an estate agent giving us a lecture over this and that. It really felt like we'd achieved something amazing by saving up all that money. Totally agree with having a better solicitor as some are totally crap!

Try moving in March/April 2020 when the first lockdown happened! (also following a divorce.)

I literally wasn't sure if it was legal, if the land registry was going to close, all solicitors/EA were home working, we weren't sure if searches etc would go ahead.

Then all the moving companies shut up shop! Luckily my movers honoured their contract in the end and moved me but I think I was the last one they did, at one point I thought I would be illegally squatting in my old home, be chucked out by the buyers and have all my stuff in a house I didn't own.

As we had exchanged that or homeless as all the hotels etc closed down - seriously thought me, DD and Dcat might be on the streets (couldn't go to parents as they are old and vulnerable.) Plus the fear of someone in the chain catching Covid etc.

It's a miracle I got into my now home TBH - when the movers delivered my stuff they seriously thought they might get arrested on the motorway down!