To go out / send DS to nursery when potty training?

[Llamasally]

We are on day 4, he’s nearly 3, it’s a bit hit and miss but he’s getting more on the loo/potty than not and making steady progress in the right direction.

Nursery said if he’s having more than 1-2 accidents a day then he’s definitely not ready. He’s having more than this and in on Tuesday next week. Surely people still go out, function, go to nursery etc while the process of learning is happening? Obviously with plenty of spare clothes, something to sit on when out in case of an accident etc?? I don’t understand this thinking but FTM and this is all new to me and very anxiety inducing!

@TulipsGarden

My experience of private nurseries and childminders is that the first few weeks of potty training is a parental responsibility, after which they continue the training depending on readiness.

I’m slightly confused as to why you think a private nursery has to take on this parental duty, it’s also much better for the child.

Hence why it’s usually done during a holiday period.

Very glad for our nursery reading these replies! Kids tend to be ready when they're ready, and that doesn't always coincide with holidays (plus our nursery is open year-round so there are no nursery holidays bar two weeks at Christmas). No one at our nursery has kept their child off for potty training!

Honestly it sounds like he just isn't ready yet. When they are ready it just clicks

I didn’t mention in my previous post, that our nursery are fully supportive of doing potty training alongside us and will change clothes etc as needed. But it was just my view that DC needed to be ready before I felt comfortable asking nursery to do it with us.

Also, don’t feel that he needs to do it just because he’s nearly 3. We tried recently with DS who is 3 this month and it was clear he wasn’t ready so we’ll try again in about 3 months or so.

Like @StepBackPlease, we left DC in pull ups at nursery and for days out for around a month or two after DC was in pants at home. At nursery, DC was busy and outdoors most of the time, and couldn't necessarily get a staff member's attention in time. For days out likewise, we couldn't always be sure of being near a toilet (and lots were closed due to Covid). It didn't confuse DC at all and was much less stressful for us all.

@Tillsforthrills I guess all nurseries are different. Ours encouraged us to start potty training as they believed he was ready, and said he only needed the long weekend off and they would deal with it from then on.

They don't have holidays, it's open all year except one week at Christmas. And I don't have enough annual leave to take weeks off, obviously.

I know my friend's child's pre-school asks that children are potty trained before starting, but that's a completely different set-up, only open term time and she only pays for lunchtime cover.

We potty trained over a long weekend. Started Friday and sent him to nursery on Tuesday with plenty of clothes. By the Monday accidents were better. The first week I was on pins about how he would cope at nursery and he managed fine with just a few accidents.

My nursery were really supportative. Even the day they had to tell me he decided to pull his pants down and fee in front of everyone in the playroom.

Weird , sounds like he’s ready to me ? I started on my sons second birthday as he just sat on the potty one day and weed- it took about a month to be reliable lots of accidents at first , left him naked on the bottom half. Lots of time in the garden, letting them wet themselves gets them used to feeling of being wet which nappy’s don’t allow. I took mine out in the first week on short outings , I put a towel in the trolley and a car seat protector in the seat. You’d think nursery would support you ? They all have accidents at nursery anyway there too busy playing. There’s never a good time to potty train this is why people keep putting it off till there 4, there will always be accidents with it - doesn’t mean there not ready!

It won’t confuse him because he wasn’t ever ready so he was probably confused re what the heck you have been doing!

Go back to pull ups and wait for his cue. It should come very shortly given age

Night time dryness happened by itself at 2 & 8 months so don’t listen to anyone saying boys aren’t night dry untill 4-5 .. that came from my health visitor

@Heythere13

Why isn’t he ready he’s been using the potty and toilet ? If he wasn’t ready he would refuse to sit on it ? Going back to pull ups is just confusing for the child you just need to go for it and accept accidents happen.

It’s about the child’s stance

He’s not going unless prompted

The switch has not clicked yet

I'd keep going with it over the weekend, you might see massive improvements by Monday/Tuesday.
Nursery should be supporting you on this if you think he's ready.
We've just potty trained DD and were similar to you having accidents for the first few days, we're now two weeks in and she's been dry for the last 4 days.
Have you tried any kind of incentive to try and get him to go on his own accord?
We started a sticker chart with DD and every time she went on the potty, even if she had an accident then managed to finish it on the potty, she gets to put a sticker on her chart, it's worked really well for us. A friend of ours used chocolate buttons.