To ask for weird realisations you’ve had about life?

[goergia]

Things about mundane life that you’ve never given much thought but suddenly think “Now I think about it, that’s weird.”

I had one of these today. I live in a mid-terrace, neighbours are nice and quiet and we don’t hear a peep. A few days ago I had a snoop at one of the next-door neighbour’s house on Rightmove after seeing it was for sale, and realised that they have their bed right up against our party wall as I do mine. So even though I sleep in bed alone every night, there’s actually 2 people who I don’t really know just a couple of inches away from me! I don’t know why but for some reason it creeps me out. I’ve realised that in terraced houses you’re actually sharing one building with lots of people, many of whom you will NEVER interact with.

That while old age is better than the alternative, it's starting to affect me just the same way as it does everyone else, and it's shit. I somehow thought I would get to retirement and still be able to do everything I could at 40. I used to get impatient with my parents for slowing down (all they need to do is make a bit of effort) and think I would travel the world once I didn't have to work. And would find some true joy. Now I'm 60 and can barely stay awake past 9pm, every day brings a new ache or pain, I'm still as terrified of death as I was when I was 20 and it's now a hell of a lot closer.

Lots of people in good jobs with good degrees don’t really have a clue about lots of things - particularly how organisations and societies work. They are a bit misty-eyed about their home environment. Found this out early on in my working life,

Much later I found out that some semi-literate people on minimum wage work can have a good grasp of these issues and articulate them in a way that puts me to shame,

Attending Union conferences taught me a lot and I am genuinely embarrassed for former me and my unjust assumptions.

Also I don't and won't have children (that ship has sailed) - it dawned on me that I have broken a hereditary chain that ultimately goes back to the first humans on earth.. all my ancestors diligently continuing this chain, through so many obstacles and it gets to me and stops. Forever.

I often wonder who first discovered what happens to egg whites when you beat them?

Sleeping
I find it weird that we all go to bed and spend 6/7 hours unconscious

@SolarPortrait

Also I don't and won't have children (that ship has sailed) - it dawned on me that I have broken a hereditary chain that ultimately goes back to the first humans on earth.. all my ancestors diligently continuing this chain, through so many obstacles and it gets to me and stops. Forever.

Same here. Couldn’t have children, feel like I’ve let my ancestors down somehow.

@HowManyDogs

Sleeping I find it weird that we all go to bed and spend 6/7 hours unconscious

And that certain kinds of dreams are common to all of us. I find that fascinating.

I find it terrifying how many adults are either very stupid and/or infantile.

I find it worrying how infantile adverts are and how much clothing, accessories, cars, food etc. aimed at adults have infantile themes to promote them and this is just accepted as normal.

@Orangecell

I’m late 40s and when I was born my great grandmother was alive who was born in 1898. My nephew was born 2014 and hopefully he will live to see the year 2100. This means that people alive in the 1800s, 1900s, 2000s and 2100s will have known me.

This reminded me of my feelings about people born the previous century. I knew my great grandad, who was born in 1890s and was in the First World War. 1890s was a ridiculously long time a gin because it started with 18 instead of 19, like when I was born. Now people from 20somethings will see me as alien as I saw my great grandad (or anyone/anything that happened in 1800s)

That people that work in a lot of high flying jobs in investment banks etc. earning vast salaries are not really any smarter or more capable than anyone else. Probably just more confident in a lot of cases. Mores self assured.

I have worked in banking for a long time. I think people would be quite shocked how much incompetence there is.

@Stillfunny

That people who lived thousands of years ago like in Pompei, had highly evolved societies, just like us. They imported goods from far away, travelled, had a neighborhood, families . They looked like us , lived and died like us . That nothing essential has changed on humans for thousands of years.

Have you read John Boyne’s A Traveller at the Gates of Wisdom @Stillfunny? It’s essentially this idea, how lives are the same across time and culture.

@likemindedarseholes

All the psychology experiments which reveal we're all just messed up, selfish arrogant etc. Are most of us like that really? Is morality just due to fear of getting caught, punished or judged? Also the fact that it just takes one charismatic leader and some dire economic situation to make one group of people hate and target another. I began to feel the start of that in 2007 when Islamaphobia really ramped up.

Have you ever seen that experiment where they put someone in a waiting room with actors and then show signals that there is a fire? alarms, smoke coming into room etc. and all the actors are told to act normally as if nothing is happening. And the 'real' people don't do anything either! Because everyone else is acting like there is nothing to worry about, they just sit in the waiting room rather than accept their own senses. Really freaks me out how we're disposed to being herd animals, even in 'herds' of people who are strangers, that our biggest motivator is fitting in.

Agreed @SolarPortrait I used to think people in high earning jobs were super intelligent but I now know it’s confidence that carries most people!

That planes don't fly parallel to the equator, or lines of latitude to go to a place that's east/west. So used to seeing the earth flat in a map, that it freaked me out that to get to New York, a plane would travel up over Greenland to get there. Doesn't make sense on a 2d earth, but completely does on a 3D earth.

Similar to a pp, I find it amazing that my grandfather was born in the 1880s while I am only 50 with a young teenager.
I also remember being astonished when my teacher told us that dinosaurs were the result of hundreds of millions of years of evolution, not the start of evolution.

@Keithlovessmash

This is known as "Sonder" - the realisation that everyone around you has an independent life!

And the frightening thing is people who just don’t get this.

My ex husband didn’t. People purely existed for his purpose. He had no notion that people had their own lives and thoughts. If you didn’t have a use for him at that time, then you were in a state of stasis.

He used to be incandescent with rage that a friend he would pick up and put down for years at a time would have moved on, got married, changed jobs etc in the years he’d not spoken to them. He couldn’t understand why they hadn’t stayed exactly the same as the last time he saw them - like he’d lost some sort of control over them. It was so odd.

This sounds exactly how someone with narcissism traits would behave...?

Eg. All relationships are transactional.
Other people are there PURELY there for your benefit!
Others have no life /thoughts /feelings outside what the narcissist wants them to have.

My empathy!

@SolarPortrait

Yes, and the assumption the higher the salary the harder an individual must work.

Nope! My highest paid jobs have been easier.

That some people just are different to me. They're brain works differently at some quite deep level and therefore it is not worth over analysing their thoughts or actions. Also that there's no group of people who know what they're doing and can be trusted to keep everything running smoothly - all people are just human and can make mistakes. Sometimes massive ones. And therefore society could collapse. We're not as safe as we think we are in the developed West.

Argh *their brain!

A bit like others have said, it's the realisation that everybody in charge is fallible and even the 'experts' are winging it to some extent.

I think the scary realisation (probably because of covid) was that after your own parents die, there isn't really anyone who has totally got your back anymore to look after you/ save you.

@IamtheDevilsAvocado oh yes, there should be a photo of him in the dictionary next to narcissist!

He does it to me all these years on, ds is an adult and he can’t fathom how I could be doing a different job, have different hair. I should have stayed the same as I can’t possibly exist as a person.

@linenalltheway

You are definitely not the only one Rebecca everything about galaxies/astrophysics etc makes me feel this way. I just can't comprehend it the idea is too big for my mind

Me too, to the extent that I don't like it when people talk about. I don't like thinking about how small I am in the universe and how the earth is going to 'finish'.

When I joined mumsnet it blew my mind. I read
posts and think of a reply, but before I could type someone else had posted my reply word for word. Happens all the time.

Any time you're in a crowded place it's hugely unlikely that combination of people will ever be together again. Realised on a bus one morning and now it pops into my mind whenever I'm somewhere busy!

Goodness, this is a very thought-provoking thread!!

I was walking the dog the other day and it struck me how ludicrous it is that we create living creatures to put into boxes, cages, lock up in our houses and walk around on leads. Very strange.

I also think that we are very arrogant to believe we are the only planet with life-forms. The universe is so mind-bogglingly enormous that there must be other planets with life. Maybe evolved into something totally different but there nonetheless. Which then raises the God question. Are we really the only being 'special' enough to have been put here by a creator?

This is all very heavy for a Thurs morning