Moral dilemma - generational wealth on DP's side.
So for context, I grew up poor and with no generational wealth by which I really mean no money given for a property deposit etc. Partner comes from a very comfortable family with a long history of wealth on both his parent's sides (like no one has ever rented or even had a mortgage, in fact, they've just been the landlords). We rent - no problem for me or him becasue we wouldn't want to ask for a deposit and he hasn't been given anything. Only something has been weighing on my mind.
So 2 years ago MIL has fallen out with her mother over not being given one of the properties they used to own or the money from the sale when she (DP's grandmother) decided she wanted to sell it because no one had stayed there for nearly 4 years. More context - parents in law have never rented or had a mortgage on their city flat and have been searching for the "perfect" country house for some years now which they will buy with cash. She just wanted this other house too (it would not replace this "perfect" country one she is looking for rather this one would just be an extra house "for gatherings/parties/for friends staying"). MIL says that she is entitled to this particular house but doesn't give a real reason other than her mother is selling it for no reason and she doesn't need the cash. Also, according to DP a few years ago MIL said that she doesn't really care for the house and would rather have half of a bigger house grandma has by a lake, or the money instead.
I think MIL is unreasonable and my DP's grandmother should sell one of her properties if she wants and its no one's business. Also, the house was losing value because no one was staying there and it was starting to crumble a bit.
But MIL and FIL have blown this out of proportion. MIL even gone so far as to telling the whole village that her mother has "written her out of the inheritance and sold the house without her even knowing so she couldn't say bye to it or collect her things". This is actually untrue. MIL knew the house was up for sale but just didn't think it would sell so quickly which is not the same as not knowing it was up for sale. Also no one said anything about wills or inheritance changing and grandmother denies that MIL won't be getting any inheritance. Grandmother says MIL is money-obsessed which is probably true given her reaction. FIL also fallen out with the grandmother over this too which i find a bit weird but I guess he's just supporting his wife.
As I said, we rent and grandmother thinks that MIL should give DP some money for a deposit so we can stop renting. We live in London where rent is crazy expensive and so saving for our own deposit is taking a long time. They have more than enough in savings which are being eaten away by inflation and could give us a deposit if they wanted. Only they don't want to which is their prerogative. I just don't think MIL should have fallen out with grandmother over not getting money or a second house. It is also the only topic of conversation she ever seems to want to discuss - i.e. how hard done by she's been and how she is so generous with her children. While I just quietly sip my tea thinking 'well you've never rented/ had a mortgage and if you expect property/money from your mother then why shouldn't DP expect at least money for a deposit from you?'
DP agrees with his grandmother and has told MIL he thinks shes in the wrong and they have a bit of a strained relationship now but MIL and FIL always treat him and have done like a child so nothings really changed.
AIBU for thinking it's a bit hypocritical of MIL and FIL?