To think they don’t want to go

[goaskmum]

A few days ago, I had asked a few of my friends ( we are not close, we don’t see each other very often) if they would like to meet up for a coffee afternoon this weekend.

Three out of the five I invited have already told me they can’t go as they already have plans and the other two said they would be interested.

The remaining two, let’s call them Barbara and Anne. Barbara said that would be great and that she would let me know during the week - I am yet to hear from her! Anne said she would like to come and yet again I’ve heard nothing from her.

I told them which town it would be in, but I have not chosen a coffee shop or a time. I feel awkward setting a venue and a time because they haven’t even told me if they’re definitely going to come or not, obviously whether or not it even happens is dependent on them saying they’re coming or not.

AIBU to think they should have let me know by now and should I just assume they don’t want to go? Or should I give them another day or so to let me know?

Ask again, they might not have finalised Easter plans when you asked them.

Arrange to drop into a coffee shop at a specific time and give them the details.If they don't turn up that's fine. I wouldn't overthink it.

Message " hi B and A , was thinking of x coffee shop at y oclock on z. Can u confirm whether you can make it please"

I would just message again saying 'how about we meet at X cafe at Y time?'

You should get a definite answer then

I would avoid making it sound like you will be there anyway even if they decide not to come as you probably won't get a straight answer that way

@Cultureclub

Arrange to drop into a coffee shop at a specific time and give them the details.If they don't turn up that's fine. I wouldn't overthink it.

this, but start the message with 'still OK to meet up?' and ask them to let you know. I'm still really vague about easter plans - thinking I ought to do something, with a dozen or so half plans juggling around unfinalised- and the bonkers thing is that I have three day weekends every week, so it's only an additional day.

They are very flakey and imo not real friends...

*except dh but it's him I want a break from!!

If you asked me for a coffee and I said yes I’d then expect you to set a day/ time and place. If you didn’t I’d assume not happening anymore.

It’s only Wednesday,… if I said we would be making arrangements for the weekend, then details would be something I got round to on Thursday evening.

@Whetheryouthinkyoucan

It’s only Wednesday,… if I said we would be making arrangements for the weekend, then details would be something I got round to on Thursday evening.

I can see your point, I am quite insecure and I wonder who likes me and who doesn’t so it’s maybe that I’m insecure that makes me think because they haven’t responded yet that they don’t like me / don’t want to spend time with me

@PrisonerofZeroCovid

If you asked me for a coffee and I said yes I’d then expect you to set a day/ time and place. If you didn’t I’d assume not happening anymore.

I told them I would like to go out, I told them the town I was thinking of, they said that’s great and basically that they would let me know if they could go or not.

I was expecting them to let me know and then we would arrange a specific place/time after that

Flipping heck, just message both of them and say 'are we still on for meeting up at the weekend?'

If they didn't like you , they would have said no straight away.

@IsDaveThere

Flipping heck, just message both of them and say 'are we still on for meeting up at the weekend?'

If they didn't like you , they would have said no straight away.

I know but then I feel like I’m being desperate if I text them as the way I picked up on it was that they were to send the next text message

Don't be daft, you're not being desperate at all. Just message them and say "Still fancy that coffee at the weekend? I thought X place X time. Shall I see you in there?" They would have to reply to that, even if just to say sorry can't make it, in which case go yourself, have a nice coffee and a huge bit of cake.