To contact child maintenance service

[EatingToast]

I have a 5 month old son. His father and I have been together for several years. We have never lived together but are still involved and he is in regular contact with us. I have been the one to pay for everything so far, despite various promises to buy this, that and the other, none of it ever happened. He has given me a total amount of £110 in those 5 months and tells me he will give what he can, when he can. I am on maternity pay and cannot afford to keep paying for everything myself, and, although he pleads poverty, he has a decent, full time, well paid job. I have been trying to sort this out amicably as I feel like applying to CMS would start a conflict we could all do without, but see no other option.

Does he have the child at his?, do you stay at his or does he just come to you to see the child? Sorry I agree with the others I don’t think this sounds like much of a relationship

Why are you still in a relationship with someone who doesn’t want to support their own child?

Get some self respect, ditch him and go through CMS

Well thank you all for your input, some more constructive than others. Fortunately we are now on our way to an understanding on the issue, perhaps a serious conversation was all that was needed

Of course you should contact them. It’s relatively straight forward now too, think you apply online and they’re quite quick at sorting it out. Apply now.

How often does the baby stay with him?

"We are still in regular contact" is such an unusual phrase to use in this instance. That sounds oule you see each other once or twice a week.

Is he actually going to be a parent? Or is that your job?

When you go back to work, will childcare costs be split 50/50? Because that's how it would work in a committed family home. But it sounds like you will be paying for childcare and he wont need to worry.

What about essentials? Clubs and activities? School trips?

I dont think this relationship is going to last, especially if "avoiding conflict because that's what is best for a child" means just doing everything yourself so as not to upset him.

I'm sorry but I'm another one confused by why anyone would still be in a relationship with a man who refused to pay for his child. That would kill it for me.