Tp think my mother was out of order

[User3billion]

DM looked after DD1 (11) yesterday as i had to take DD2 to an appointment & DS is old enough to stay home.

It was an all day thing so we'd arranged that DD1 would spend some of the day at her friend's house who lives close to DM's house.

On my return DM is seemingly a bit "off" with DD1 and tells me she's annoyed that DD1 didn't return home when they'd text to say her cousin had arrived there after school.

When we left DD1 told me that she'd not received the texts, and that she'd asked them to use WhatsApp prior to going to her friend's as texts on her phone were being hit and miss.

She also said that DM/GM had told her she was selfish and inconsiderate and that she'd made her aunt and cousin cry.

AIBU to think that DD1 hadn't actually done anything wrong and that DM was out of order trying to guilt trip a child?

My mil did this to my dd when she was 14 (dd). All my dd did was go for a bike ride with her friends. Mil then told dd she was selfish and that she felt dd didn’t love her anymore because she’d gone out with her friends.

Mil had been staying with us for a week and had seen loads of dd. Mil only pulled this stunt once because I had it out with her.

OP yanbu.

It amazes me how bent out of shape some people get over ridiculous stuff and more so how they choose to communicate about it. I really wouldn’t bother discussing it with her. It’s so petty and it would be stooping to the same level. They cried? If they did, they have personality issues. More likely this did not happen so saying this is just a manipulation.

I had an experience a few years ago staying with B and SIL. I’m single and were supportive of me going there for a holiday bc I’d just been through an awful breakup. All terms were agreed beforehand and were encouraging me to go out.

Afterwards they were mad at me for going out. B said I’d made Dn cry bc I went out on one occasion and couldn’t play with her. Either this was a spoilt reaction or it totally didn’t happen. Didn’t tell me any of this of course, just the rest of the family.

Absurd, uptight, disingenuous behaviour. This sounds similar. Just try to forget about it.