How can I change?

[BSO10]

If I'm honest with myself - I'm a total arsehole.

I remind myself so much of my mother. I'm awkward for the sake of awkward, I get jealous of people, I like things to be done MY way to name a few.

I don't want to be like this. I hate myself in fact. How can I change? It's easy for me to say "I'll do better" but it's hard. I have no excuses for the way I act. I guess I'm just not a very nice person??

I'm the same. I take things out on others. I had to adjust my mindset. I have to remind myself of my priorities and work on my behaviours every single day a little bit. If I slip up I remind myself I'm getting better. You can change, you can't stop being yourself, and yourself is what the people around you love, hence why they've ever put up with the behaviour.

Every day make small changes, I didn't snap at anyone today, or yesterday. I'm proud of myself.

Why don’t you start changing now? I think you need to practise actively being nice, rather than waiting for an opportunity to present itself. Like when you train a dog - you do so inside the house, before taking them out into the world where there are distractions and complications!

So, you could find posts on MN and only write kind and supportive things to people. Whether you mean it or not. The ‘baby name’ threads are a good place for this! 😆

Get yourself in the habit of explicitly deciding to only be nice. To be honest, I have had to do this - I came from a really aggressive, nasty, competitive industry, and was not in the habit of being very nice! I now find I have genuinely changed, and I find myself wanting to call other people out for being hateful and judgmental of people that I one day would have also laughed at.

It’s just not worth putting nastiness out there into the world, and you’ve recognised that much. Good you for OP 😊

I a super jealous (but likewise hate the attention on me) picture the scene an end of project well done team meeting. Fun quiz about all manner of crap… you are the only one of a team of 7 who the quiz master didn’t ask a question about….their response ‘I couldn’t think of anything relating to you’ a person who joined the team 7 months previously had an entire section on them…me I couldn’t let it go..my response was to be stroppy and I was in such a foul mood I didn’t speak to the person (who I’ve known and worked with for 7 years!!!!!!) for an hour.. until they said they were sorry.
Christ I’m so pathetic I know I am but it really hurt that I was the odd one out!

Thanks ladies - I actually expected to take a battering here. Really like the sound of actively going out of my way to be nice now before I HAVE to be.

I think i find it a struggle as I feel so taken for granted as I see everyone else's families doing lovely things for them but I get no recognition. That said, I'm not sure how much of that is MY issue (I.e. me feeling the need to get credit etc)