To not understand why therapist won't take me on?

[UndertheCedartree]

I have been waiting around 22 months for therapy on the NHS. Noone can tell me how much longer I'll have to wait. A few friends have been encouraging me to find someone privately. So I did and approached the therapist. We had a phone call and she told me she thinks I should stay within the NHS. She told me I should not have had to wait so long and I should speak to my GP. Not sure what they can do anymore than my Care coordinator or the psychology team themselves? She also told me to try to refer myself to the new level 4 IAPT service. I'm not sure it will be suitable as I think it only provides 16 weeks of therapy but I want to have as much as I need as last time I did IAPT I ended up sectioned as everything had been opened up and after the sessions ended I was left dealing with it by myself. I phoned them anyway and after a long and triggering assessment I was offered level 3 and the therapist could refer me for level 4 afterwards. I have been left very, very low and agitated due to the assessment and no further forward. I don't understand why the private therapist wouldn't take me on?

There could be any number of reasons why they wouldn't take you on but don't let that deter you. Keep looking for a new one.

Ok, thank you. So hopefully not all will not want to take me on? She said I should stay in the NHS due to the MTD meetings. But I don't feel I can wait much longer.

My friend who is a therapist says that therapists ahve to be careful what issues they take on. She won't take anyone who has an issue with food, for example, as that is my friend's own achilles heel.

Maybe she doesn't think she can help you?
Better she's honest about it at the outset than take your money knowing that.

Maybe she thinks your circumstances are very complicated, and feels
you need the services that provide more than just therapy? You need care that isnt just therapy and she can't provide that on her own.

From your op it seems you have extensive experience with the mental services and may already be under their care- as you talk about a care coordinator.

From your comment about having a care coordinator and psychology team it sounds like you're under secondary care for mental health? If so this is why, the therapist considers you too high risk or too much work for her level. That won't necessarily be the case for every therapist but it might be advisable to ask if they provide therapy for people under psychiatry when looking for another.
You're right to question the advice to speak to GP, they won't be able to do more than your care co as the two services are completely separate. GPs have no control over secondary care waiting lists.

I think she was trying to offer you alternate lines to proceed with, whether or not they were particularly helpful suggestions, as a way to soften the news she was not able to accept you as a client.

All therapists have their special areas of focus, and are aware also from past experience that it is in the best interests of everyone to not take on a client who is in need of more specialist treatment than they can comfortably provide.

@PurpleToeNail

There could be any number of reasons why they wouldn't take you on but don't let that deter you. Keep looking for a new one.

This!!

t's likely that she didn't feel that she could safely take you on and manage any risks to you without backup. You have just said that previous therapy left you feeling suicidal and sectioned and a private therapist would not have the backup of the NHS mental health team to try and pick up the pieces if the same thing happens again.

I’m a therapist.

It depends - hugely. If (for example) I currently had three clients where I was loading with their GP or care Co-ordinatior, or I knew I didn’t have time for that currently, or I couldn’t commit to long term work with someone then I wouldn’t take them on.

I’m level 7 (MSc) but some counsellors (level 4 or below) will call themselves therapists. So they also may feel less experienced as their training might not cover what you need.

They could also have had experiences of someone dropping the work when offered nhs support which means the full therapy experience isn’t received.

Each therapist will have certain ethical boundaries they impose on themselves. For some that will be things like not working with someone if they don’t have any external support (friends/family/work/volunteering etc) others won’t if they feel the cost would be an issue.

There could also be a duel relationship which the therapist doesn’t need to disclose to you but that some of the information you gave means they know someone you know/live near you/work with someone you know etc etc.

Try a different therapist. Look for UKCP and and MSc if you want the most training.

I’m a clinical psychologist / therapist. Whilst CPs like myself work with very complex mental health difficulties, even we need to ensure that we are working safely and ethically. For some clients, their risks cannot be managed safely by a lone clinician in private practice. Accordingly, regardless of how qualified/ experienced the clinician is, if they have reason to believe that the client requires (or may require) access to a MDT and/or crisis support, it would not be appropriate to take them on in a private context.

Could be all sorts of reasons as others have said here - doesn’t mean at all that no private therapist will be able to see you.

xx

Thank you for all the advice.

I actually have some good news. The lady from IAPT rung me back again. She said they had discussed my case and I wasn't suitable for IAPT so they would discharge me and refer me to psychology. I said I was already on the waiting list for psychology and had been waiting 22 months. She said she would ring psychology and get back to me. When she got back to me she said she had spoken to psychology and I was near the top of the list! When I'd spoken to psychology or my Care co had they couldn't tell us where I was on the list! So hopefully I won't have to wait too much longer.

Excellent news!