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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Watching Dd at gymnastics tonight

53 replies

Whatwilltheweatherbetoday · 12/04/2022 22:08

Dd is 3 years, 9 months. Covid rules have relaxed recently where we are and parents are now allowed in to watch the lesson from windows above. We’d previously had to leave Dd and sit outside.
Age ranges are from her age, although she possibly is the youngest (few others around 4/5 maybe) to age 8.
Watching her tonight and just wondering if her behaviour was ok and looking for opinions.
She had great fun, v excited
and was enjoying it, very good at the activities etc. She participated in all the activities and is great at them, but was really the only one not following instructions properly and going off from the spot she was in to other activities (they were all in different little groups)
The teachers often had to call her and kept having to move her back from where she was to where she was supposed to be.
Everyone else just seemed more compliant and calmer.

Is this just an age thing? Or is it a behaviour/possible Adhd concern?

OP posts:
Lacedwithgrace · 12/04/2022 22:47

You've done nothing wrong by questioning it, but it's definitely an age thing. Even by Reception she'll probably be easily distracted, struggle to follow instructions, etc.

3 year olds getting distracted is very normal, she was in an exciting environment and just wanted to follow her natural instinct to wander and play!

Original poster
Whatwilltheweatherbetoday · 12/04/2022 22:49

@Lacedwithgrace Thank you 😊

OP posts:
JayAlfredPrufrock · 12/04/2022 22:51

Ffs she’s 3.

As others have pointed out.

I’d be more worried if she was staying in her appointed place.

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 12/04/2022 22:56

I know what you mean, my 3.5 year old is always the one running off in circles, picking up 4 where he's instructed to take 1. Younger kids than him seem to follow the instructions fine!

OutlookStalking · 12/04/2022 22:57

Absoluteley age.

Often gym places do a preschool class which is more running around, obstacle course, play based precisely because of this!

6-8 year olds are likely to be working on different skills, lining up etc as have been in school already!

I think its an odd age to have all in together

Original poster
Whatwilltheweatherbetoday · 12/04/2022 23:07

@OutlookStalking They had two obstacle type lanes set up, section for large trampolines, others for walking on benches etc…a group to each and then they alternated, she just seemed to run from one activity to the next and do as she pleased 🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
Whatwilltheweatherbetoday · 12/04/2022 23:08

@OutlookStalking This is it, the ages made it stand out for sure

OP posts:
saraclara · 12/04/2022 23:17

She’s 4 in July so still little but not 3 anymore,

Of course she's 3. She's not 4 for another three months. She's 3 FFS! Not 4, not 5 not 82. She's 3!

Whyareblokesonhere · 12/04/2022 23:17

Up until your question, you created a brilliant. Image of a precious mother daughter moment, especially after so much covid disruption, just enjoy that moment

TeddyTonks · 12/04/2022 23:19

Think about it in percentage terms, at 3, if she's in a class where the average age is 5, the average child is 66% older than her again- the equivalent of expecting a 9 year old to act similarly to a 15 year old- it's a really huge gap so not gonna happen! No wonder she looks like the wild one, she's doing well too participate and keep up Grin

Badbaddog · 12/04/2022 23:21

Are you serious? Add he’s a baby. Babies don’t take instructions, and quite right too

Original poster
Whatwilltheweatherbetoday · 12/04/2022 23:21

@saraclara I think you know what I meant, almost 4…closer to 4 than 3

OP posts:
Juanmariaramierz · 12/04/2022 23:21

I will guarantee she is you're first child....seriously you need to get a grip for the years ahead.

Original poster
Whatwilltheweatherbetoday · 12/04/2022 23:22

@Whyareblokesonhere You’re right

OP posts:
Original poster
Whatwilltheweatherbetoday · 12/04/2022 23:23

@Juanmariaramierz Yep, she’s my first and will sadly be my only. I suppose I do.

OP posts:
Original poster
Whatwilltheweatherbetoday · 12/04/2022 23:24

@TeddyTonks 😅 When you put it like that

OP posts:
stayathomer · 12/04/2022 23:24

At 3 I remember bringing ds to football and he kept running back to me. I was really on edge until the coach came over and told me to relax and look around. All the other kids were doing the same. I was wondering what the story was with the rest of your daughter's class, they're in the minority!!! Great she's enjoying it OP!!!

GoddamnCars · 12/04/2022 23:25

Hang on and see. I've got inattentive ADHD and the way I describe it is that it's lots of things that most people experience-the difference is the impact that the severity of these things, has upon my life.
If you keep seeing these differences, and it's making a negative difference to her life - it may be worth checking out. Comparing her to others isn't negative if you're aiming to support those differences. If she has differences then she will become aware of that, very early on. You could make some notes in diary form so that you've got a record of your observations - that might be useful if you're seeing differences ongoing. It can't hurt and will help you to find ways of helping her - even if she's not neurodivergent/doesn't fit criteria enough for a formal diagnosis.

Sodullincomparison · 12/04/2022 23:25

Snap. My DD is starting Reception in September and we took her to gymnastics for concentration and to learn to listen to the coach.

Some weeks she follows and other weeks less so. She is high octane and full of energy and even though that is tiring, I think it’s a good thing.

Somebody told me recently that one day I will be pleased she is independent and feisty but today won’t be the day and probably not tomorrow!

Original poster
Whatwilltheweatherbetoday · 12/04/2022 23:28

@Sodullincomparison Exactly the same here!

OP posts:
TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 12/04/2022 23:31

Somebody told me recently that one day I will be pleased she is independent and feisty but today won’t be the day and probably not tomorrow

I love this and my god its so true!!

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 12/04/2022 23:38

@GoddamnCars

Hang on and see. I've got inattentive ADHD and the way I describe it is that it's lots of things that most people experience-the difference is the impact that the severity of these things, has upon my life. If you keep seeing these differences, and it's making a negative difference to her life - it may be worth checking out. Comparing her to others isn't negative if you're aiming to support those differences. If she has differences then she will become aware of that, very early on. You could make some notes in diary form so that you've got a record of your observations - that might be useful if you're seeing differences ongoing. It can't hurt and will help you to find ways of helping her - even if she's not neurodivergent/doesn't fit criteria enough for a formal diagnosis.
I agree with this. Pre-nursery DS was the only child at toddler group who could not sit down for a couple of minutes for a biscuit & squash and a song. Not particularly concerning by itself, but 6 years later we have definite concerns for a range of reasons and are waiting for an assessment.

Basically, it's probably nothing but if you're concerned make a note of it.

thirdfiddle · 12/04/2022 23:46

A few things.

  1. That's a wide age range for the coaches to deal with. When DD attended a preschool only group there was generally one teacher per activity and kids were busy with the activity most of the time so there wasn't time to wander off and do something else. So I have maybe some reservations about how they're running it. Is there anything more tailored to preschoolers you could do?

  2. Not unusual at all at that age, even where DD is now (8+) some of the higher energy kids bounce around rather. Often the ones that have the ability but not the concentration to join the squads.

  3. You can still work with her towards participating more sensibly. I only had to pull DD out of toddler gym class once, aged about 2, and she completely switched tack from running about getting in everyone's way to joining in and following instructions. It sounds like your DD may have got in a habit, and coaches have maybe got in a habit of accepting it because of her age. Maybe it's time to break the cycle.

Perhaps you could have a word with teachers and agree to try to get her to join in better. I'd have a conversation with child + coach about reminding her to stay with her group, and agree that I would go and fetch her out if she wasn't after a warning.

In gym they do do some things where they need to concentrate or could fall, and I'd rather the coaches were concentrating on helping what they're supposed to be supporting rather than dealing with loose cannons.

If they just want to run around and play on apparatus, they don't need to be in a class at all, they can just go to the playground or a toddler group. Not all preschoolers want to or are ready to. That's fine too.

CJsGoldfish · 12/04/2022 23:47

It's an age and maturity thing OP. Don't borrow trouble.

I don't understand the 'need' to put little ones in classes like this before they are ready. It's more for the parent surely?

MrsFatArse · 12/04/2022 23:48

*saraclara

She’s 4 in July so still little but not 3 anymore,

Of course she's 3. She's not 4 for another three months. She's 3 FFS! Not 4, not 5 not 82. She's 3!*

I love this post, it made me laugh but it perfect common sense

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