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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour in my DM’s garden

20 replies

Orphlids · 12/04/2022 21:08

My elderly DM, who lives alone, has recently acquired new neighbours. Since moving in, the husband has done a few things which have irritated my DM off a bit (cut her hedge without asking, regular stinky bonfires on which he burns plastic etc) but my DM is a laid back sort of woman and has not been too bothered.

A few months ago, she looked out of the window and saw this man in her garden. My DM didn’t go out at the time (she is partially sighted and fearful of unplanned confrontation) but upon later investigation, she found he had accessed her garden so he could attach a couple of satellite dishes to the rear of his wall. This wall is where his property ends, so as they stand out from the wall, the satellite dishes are overhanging into my DM’s garden. Had he asked permission, DM would probably has agreed, but she was pretty cross as he’d just gone ahead and done it.

She then discovered that he has had a fence built which is a couple of feet into her land. This fence runs behind my DM’s hedge, so wasn’t visible to her at first, which I imagine he had been banking on.

DM has reported the encroaching fence to the council, who told her on the phone that it would be dealt with. This was weeks ago, and she has heard absolutely nothing. I am badgering her to chase it up.

She spoke to the neighbour and told him in no uncertain terms that he is not to enter her garden again without her permission. He denied doing it, and was surprised when DM said she had seen him. I think he may have mistakenly thought her blind rather than partially sighted.

Anyway, DM has now discovered he has accessed her garden again, as he has installed various pipes and electrical cables on the rear of this wall, which could only be done from DM’s property. It’s clear from the amount of work that it must have taken several hours. Like the satellite dishes, these pipes and cables all overhang DM’s property. There are several pipes which are positioned so whatever they are carrying will just spill out onto DM’s garden.

I’m going round on Sunday. I feel like wrenching all his encroaching crap off his wall and taking it round to him to make him realise it’s not just an elderly disabled lady he has to contend with. Presumably I’m not allowed to damage his pipes and cables though? My DM is worried about it turning into an official dispute in case she needs to declare it if she wants to sell the house. Any advice? Many thanks.

OP posts:
SynchroSwimmer · 12/04/2022 21:16

Do you have any male family members or friends that could randomly park up/be at your Mum’s property - just to give a sense of presence?

Take photos of the incursions as evidence - the pipe work etc.
Someone will be along to advise if these installations constitute trespass.

Maybe an official letter giving a time limit say 30 days for the items to be removed - from a third party/another of your relatives?….to show that they can’t just walk all over your Mum and her property. If you show them with a push-back now it might stop further incursions later?

I feel incensed on your behalf. The same happened to my Mum - a male neighbour uprooted her hedge and claimed her land - we were unaware.

SynchroSwimmer · 12/04/2022 21:17

Ring doorbell and another cheap camera too? - to gain evidence?

Orphlids · 12/04/2022 21:23

Thank you for your reply, @SynchroSwimmer. Although the properties share a long boundary, the two house are actually on different roads, so he would be unaware of the presence of visitors. Luckily enough, my partner is enormous, muscular are rather Neanderthal in appearance, so I’m hoping if we do go round to talk to him, the sight of him might be enough to stop further arsehole behaviour.

OP posts:
billy1966 · 12/04/2022 21:24

Ring door bell at the back.
Take lots of photos.

He is taking advantage, trespassing, and intimidating your mother by being on her property.

Call 101 and register your mothers concerns.
Contact appropriate local Age action organisations for advice.

Take this very very seriously.

This is 100% elder abuse IMO.

Theunamedcat · 12/04/2022 21:25

can you block the pipes? as long as they arnt for the gas supply obviously

Bunnybingesoneggs · 12/04/2022 21:39

Ring the company that the dishes etc belong to and ask they come and remove them. They should be identifiable..

Confusednewmum1 · 12/04/2022 21:50

This is a neighbour of mine!!! I share a back garden wall and they have done something similar with a satellite dish and cables for their summerhouse. They trampled loads of plants ect doing it. I let the satellite dish go but the cables I went mad at. Told him he was a CF and to take them off, called council and had a right strop as summer house too close to the boundary. Nothing was done. His excuse to me was that he didn’t want to look at his own wires and that my plants would hide it??? They didn’t! I have very passive aggressively attached trellis to my wall- nudging satellite dish to point another way to fit, loosened the bolts that hold it on from my side and pushed them through the wall to half way. I have pulled cables off the wall so they hang loose on his side. The trellis will mean he can’t just climb over the chest high wall again. I also spend extra long watering the flower bed at the back of the garden soaking the back of his summerhouse when I think I can get away with it hoping it rots sooner.

Beamur · 12/04/2022 21:57

If she can afford it, contact a solicitor.

C25kBecky · 12/04/2022 22:09

@Confusednewmum1

This is a neighbour of mine!!! I share a back garden wall and they have done something similar with a satellite dish and cables for their summerhouse. They trampled loads of plants ect doing it. I let the satellite dish go but the cables I went mad at. Told him he was a CF and to take them off, called council and had a right strop as summer house too close to the boundary. Nothing was done. His excuse to me was that he didn’t want to look at his own wires and that my plants would hide it??? They didn’t! I have very passive aggressively attached trellis to my wall- nudging satellite dish to point another way to fit, loosened the bolts that hold it on from my side and pushed them through the wall to half way. I have pulled cables off the wall so they hang loose on his side. The trellis will mean he can’t just climb over the chest high wall again. I also spend extra long watering the flower bed at the back of the garden soaking the back of his summerhouse when I think I can get away with it hoping it rots sooner.
Can you get hold of wood eating insects to throw in his garden? I would.
Leftbutcameback · 12/04/2022 22:10

He sounds like a bully, and should back off when you and your OH turn up and firmly tell him to back off. I would also be writing and giving him notice to remove the fence and wires / pipes before you do it yourself. These CFs will always take more unless you nip it in the bud. The fence is likely to be a bigger issue on a sale than any disagreement so worth getting it sorted. Unless either property is a council house the council don't have any rights in this.

FluentlyExasperatedMadam · 12/04/2022 22:10

I'd cut the wires

Justanothergeneric · 12/04/2022 22:13

Her household insurance may well provide cover for this sort of dispute - maybe ring them and check?

Pixiedust1234 · 12/04/2022 23:36

@FluentlyExasperatedMadam

I'd cut the wires
Same here. But knowing my luck they would be connected to the mains Blush
iheartmybeachhut · 12/04/2022 23:50

If you cut wires etc, he could claim criminal damage, I'd look at chasing the legal angle through insurance.

walksen · 13/04/2022 04:03

"This is 100% elder abuse IMO"

As it stands he has done nothing illegal. Trespass is a civil matter. Unless he has attached something to your dm's property police will not get involved.

Bear in mind if you start cutting cables etc that is criminal damage. Install CCTV perhaps and secure fence panels so it is harder to get into the garden.

TigerLilyTail · 13/04/2022 04:15

I would definitely get a camera installed and download the app to your phone as well, so you can keep an eye on things.

I would go around and say that he needs to move the fence and the things overhanging her house immediately. He sounds like a complete bastard. I would be so worried for you poor mum.

Orphlids · 13/04/2022 05:12

Thank you for all your replies, they’ve been very helpful. As tempting as it is to cut the wires, I suspect it would result in certain death, so I’ll resist. I will go and see him on Sunday. I’m hoping he is easily frightened as most bullies seem to be, the little shit. I feel so cross with him. If you read in the press about a man being bludgeoned to death with a garden spade by the neighbour’s daughter, that’ll be me. 👍🏻

OP posts:
Ikeptgoing · 13/04/2022 05:25

Please go to a solicitor
Ideally solicitor would write to him as wires and disk over hang her garden so need to be removed and repositioned and they can write a cease and desist letter at same time that it is intimidating an older disabled (as partial sighted) woman and trespass.
Can you get a camera pointed at back where he has trespassed? So you can show it all to police and evidence if he continues. In this case as family had to step in and report to police, it would flag up of contact to adult services, potentially a safeguarding if he repeatedly trespasses. ASD would not do much expect ask police what action they have taken to safeguard arson but she'd get more of a response from police because of it (if he continues, the original matter is a civil one but if it was seen as harassing an older disabled person then it isn't)

Ikeptgoing · 13/04/2022 05:31

The trespass is entering her garden without permission so cease and desist would be about that and about installing items that hang over her boundary.

I'd ask solicitor to give notice for dish and wires to be removed. And considering if planting a tall evergreen tree if I could that blocks the satellite dish signal so that it is no value to him to have it there. The cost of not doing something that a new buyer would notice, is worse than cost of neighbour dispute when selling.

autienotnaughty · 13/04/2022 05:40

I'd tell him you are installing cctv and will report to police if necessary. Hopefully it will be enough to stop him.

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