Give and get nothing back in return

[Nearlythere28]

My son is 19. He dropped out of college, found it hard to settle into any college during lockdown. He’s doing nothing other than going to the gym, out with mates sometimes and watching YouTube, social media and ps4. I pay for his driving lessons, gym but I’m getting pissed off now. I have always worked hard and went to uni whilst he was a young child, worked etc to make sure he always had everything. I’ve been able to get to a position in my job where I’m on comfortable money but he sees it as I can afford to look after him. I ask him What his plans for the future are, offered to help with applying for jobs or getting career advice. I get nothing back other than oh yeh I will apply for this and that and he does naf all. Not sure what to do with him or the situ anymore. Help. He is nearly test ready but feel bad to pull the plug on financing this right now.

He's only 19 and near to passing his driving test. Get him a banger (Micra) and he'll have responsibility for tax and insurance.

So much easier to get a job with transport and / or driving licence.

KFC (if you're a meat eater) is easy to get into.

Doing nothing is not acceptable. It's ok for a few teenage years, and we all look after our kids like that if we can, but it can't continue - for their sakes.

Sometimes, the best lesson in the world is to walk on your own two feet.

I would keep financing the driving lessons. Beyond that I would stop financing him.

I'd still 'keep' him - bed and board - for now. But I'd start by not financing nights out, gice notice at the gym etc. Tell him he needs to sign on. Then the job centre can tell him he needs to look for work or he'll become ineligible.

Yes that’s a thought- perhaps the jobcentre can help. I suppose I could give him a date in which I will stop paying for his phone and gym. I just want him to do something with his life. I don’t feel proud of him. I’m embarrassed. I have to lie to everyone and say oh yes college is going well. Such hard work

I’d get him through his driving test then he’s got another string to his bow re employment.
He can source a car and check out insurance. He needs a reality check. Then tell him once he hits 20 you expect him to contribute to household bills. Doesn’t need to be a lot, he just needs a shot of reality.