Aibu to really hate the way that "lol" litters posts in massively inappropriate places?

[ChiselandBits]

Just read two threads in 5 mins where the OP is obviously quite upset and ends the sentence with "lol". Its not funny, so why "lol"? Eg (made up example). "I know this is really awful and he shoudn't do it but I felt really gutted, lol" I mean..what? I dislike the phrase generally but especially so when it gets used to somehow downplay what is obviously a big issue. Is it just me? Gives me the feeling that its women apologising somehow in case they are "overreacting" to whatever the situation is and so put it in there in case they get told they are BU and then they can deflect it all as lighthearted.

Yes. I hate it. It somehow always manages to devalue everything said before it.

I judge, I don't care.

I hate it too. It's up there with hun on my hated word chart.

Read in that context I'd interpret it as a nervous or self conscious titter in normal conversation.

No idea why though.

You're trying to apply a deeper meaning to it than what is needed, it's almost a sign off now for some and is not meant to be taken litterally as it could mean they understand the situation they are in.

It really is a reach to try and intulectually portray it as some patrachical point. I know it's anecdotal but I have had more messages from my male collegues explaing why they will need a few days off etc for some serious bad news ending with lol than I have ever had from my female collegues.

It's a language change situation, most people can understand context of when it is a funny comment, nervous laughter, playing it down etc etc. There really isn't a divide among the sexes using it.

I hate it too. Especially when it comes after something negative. 'I have had my blood test cancelled 3 times in 2 weeks now LOL!' Why are you laughing out loud at the inconvenience of having your blood test cancelled THREE TIMES? Eeejit.

You are not alone. It makes me really irrationally angry because it's so often used almost as punctuation 'So I just normally have a sandwich for lunch lol' or more infuriatingly, totally inappropriately 'Really sorry to hear that your dad died lol'.

I judge. I very much judge. I really want to reply with 'what part of that are you laughing out loud at? No, really, what part of that is funny?'

Its become the text version of a self deprecating smile. A "dont hurt me" smile. The smile that uses the mouth muscles but not the eyes. So not really a "laugh out loud" anymore. Its a nervous text tic.

My froends and I use LOL when it’s not very funny, usually used in sarcastic tone

I hate it too, seems so childish!

I find it annoying and very childish!

It's a deal breaker for me when dating. Some men put it at the end of every message!!

Childish and tbh it makes me think that the person isn't very intelligent

I absolutely hate it. It’s lazy and immature.

a sign of the insecure - do not like it

a sign of the insecure - do not like it

I agree, it's those who are trying to be pedant on the issue is the insecure.

Completely agree re the dating thing. When I was OLD I pretty much instantly rejected anyone who included it. I don't necessarily think it's a conscious anti feminist thing no, but when I see it on here so much it does make me frustrated that people excuse poor behaviour with it.

I hate lol but I hate people who end a post with a kiss. Why? It's not like you're texting a friend. And even then I'd hate it.

I had a friend who always seemed to use it very inappropriately. Such as ‘sorry to hear your DM is so poorly, lol’. I then realised she thought it meant lots of love.
Someone else I knew used it in a passive aggressive way ‘so, I saw you in town today but you ignored me lol’ when I hadn’t even seen her. Or other times she was offended by someone.
Even in the correct context I loathe it.
Lol!

I have a mate who sent me a message telling me her ex DP had threatened to slash her throat. Followed by xxx. I was horrified. It seemed so inappropriate and weird

@SilverBirchWithout

I had a friend who always seemed to use it very inappropriately. Such as ‘sorry to hear your DM is so poorly, lol’. I then realised she thought it meant lots of love. Someone else I knew used it in a passive aggressive way ‘so, I saw you in town today but you ignored me lol’ when I hadn’t even seen her. Or other times she was offended by someone. Even in the correct context I loathe it. Lol!

This!! My beloved elderly aunt spent years sending me messages which inappropriately ended with "lol" until I finally realised she thought it was an abbreviation for "lots of love"

@LexMitior

a sign of the insecure - do not like it

Well, there's very little on MN that's not seen as 'insecure' is there? For every time someone types LOL, there's another ten telling some woman she's insecure. Apropos of nothing. Or that somethings 'grim', 'vile' or something equally clichéd. People use it for much the same reason as you're using 'insecure'. Because they've seen a lot of other people do it and absorbed it into their own communication without giving it too much thought.

I'm old enough to remember whan LOL in a written communicaiton meant lots of love. Most disconcerted a few years ago when lol was used my a new, junior staff member in an email to me. Thought he was being very forward!!

If I use it, I'm generally being passive aggressive.