What are you doing to bring positivity to our increasingly desolate lives?

[UsernameInTheTown]

To counter my recent threads expressing my pure anger and despair over the way life is heading in the UK in 2022, I am trying to do what I can to improve things and safeguard my family and community over the hard times ahead, however futile this may seem

I grow much of my own food as I am lucky enough to have land (an acre, so not a huge amount). I always over plant to share produce and give others the chance to grow their own food.
I am aware that buying the stuff to get growing can be ridiculously expensive, with no guarantee of success. As such, I have set up a seed library, where folk can take what they need or fancy for free, and if they have and spare seeds, can leave them in the library.
I am over planting tomatoes, lettuce, broccoli, cabbage, rhubarb, micro greens, peas, beans, rocket, many herbs and also peonies, bleeding hearts, hollyhocks, dahlias and more. I can lose myself in growing and find it so good for my mental health, so am a bit evangelical about it.
I am adding to our local towns' community orchard stock and giving away surplus plants.
I am also making draft excluders from our old pillows and bedding and will make a few extras.
This is certainly not a "when I was a lad we had one candle and a lump of coal to last us a week" type thread.
Positive and upbeat vibes only please!

our increasingly desolate lives

Assuming you are posting from UK (stable society, access to work, benefits etc) and you are not suffering from painful debilitating health problems, I think you need to get a grip OP.

You lost me an ‘an acre, so not a huge amount’….

Well it's not a huge amount to grow food with. It's a huge amount for a garden. Not for a smallholding. All relative innit.

Dunno why people are so set on criticising the OP's premise, if you don't want to join in don't...personally with wars, unrest, climate change and food insecurity in so many places right now I feel like things can seem very desolate...that doesn't change the fact I'm massively fortunate, but it's still bleak. If you give a shit about other people. And plenty of people in Britain are pretty cold right now and when you're cold you're cold. It sucks even if others have it worse.

I've booked a holiday with my toddler somewhere sunny and a trip to Australia to see family there for the first time in a decade 😍.

And on a day to day basis I try to truly appreciate every minute with my joyful little bear. The park and the swings cost nothing, neither do dancing together to the radio.

Life isn't grim. Life is sometimes hard but it's such a gift.

An acre of land is a lot, it can be sold to developers if OP is in such financial need she can’t put food on the table. No one needs a ‘smallholding’

@Gelasia

The OP’s post is causing some consternation because we are so lucky in the UK in comparison to other countries and owning an acre of land is an awful lot to have!

I have seen real poverty in my life and grew up in a place where things were truly desolate for many. Life in the UK is nothing like that.

I haven't cried today and am going on a wee walk for my MH around the nature reserve, which I am lucky to have on my doorstep.
Cat died (hit by a car in March) after cherishing him as one of the family for 10 years. I'm also off work sick as the job (police - rape investigation) has wrecked me. I don't know whether I can go back and what we will do about money if I can't. Ahh well.

I spend my days with some of the most disadvantaged, broken people in society. I try to make their lives a bit easier, and give them if not a laugh, at least a smile. Sometimes I have to break bad news, but I try and do it with a bit of compassion and humanity. It makes me a marginally better person as well.

Gelasia “ Dunno why people are so set on criticising the OP's premise, if you don't want to join in don't...personally with wars, unrest, climate change and food insecurity in so many places right now”

‘‘Twas ever thus. So I think OP is having a tough time herself.

@UsernameInTheTown Thanks for your suggestion but we've put the flue well up in the chimney. I'm sure it's fine, better than the normal open fire.

@Helpwithbills I bought it online from belltentboutique.co.uk. There are videos on youtube about them. 😊

I practice gratitude. No, I’m not a hippy dippy do gooder. But I’ve been listing 10 things I am grateful for every day for the past 2 years and it has really changed my mindset. I suffered a devastating bereavement last year and there are things about my life that are shit, but there is SO much to be grateful for and choosing to focus on that means life feels hopeful rather than ‘desolate’.

OP you sound very low.
Have you got any good stuff in your life as well as tending your land?

I think it is obvious that op wanted a nice, optimistic, happy thread to counter all of the bad news in the press about wars and the cost of living crisis.

Whilst things might be worse in other countries, that surely doesn't mean that we can't recognise the fact that living standards are falling - generally, not for you personally maybe - in the UK and lots of people are worried about fuel bills, inflation, rising interest rates etc. I am not sure why she's getting such a hard time from some, except mention of owning an acre has annoyed people who don't have one.

You need to change your mindset, thousands of people including young children drown in the freezing cold sea trying to reach the Uk on makeshift boats, save your pity for them, they could tell you what a desolate life really looks like.

@justfiveminutes

I think it is obvious that op wanted a nice, optimistic, happy thread to counter all of the bad news in the press about wars and the cost of living crisis.

Whilst things might be worse in other countries, that surely doesn't mean that we can't recognise the fact that living standards are falling - generally, not for you personally maybe - in the UK and lots of people are worried about fuel bills, inflation, rising interest rates etc. I am not sure why she's getting such a hard time from some, except mention of owning an acre has annoyed people who don't have one.

I've seen real deprivation in other countries and people do not live like that in this country. Yes, there are people struggling and there are people having to do without. But we have free healthcare, free education for our children, a welfare state and oodles of amazing charities that can and do step in.

We are having to tighten our belts, but western society has been too greedy for too long.

I'm a positive person by nature. I take joy in my family, my dog, being outside. Feeling the change of seasons. My job making a difference (sometimes).

Feeling lucky I live in the U.K.

I try my best to be a happy, positive person and do what I can to help others e.g. saying thank you, offering to help with something etc. Sounds corny but that’s how I try snd contribute.

I volunteer once a week.

I give to charity and charity shops. I help out with school fundraising.

I can be grumpy, not the best friend and selfish sometimes but I try to remind myself each day how lucky I am.

I think what you are doing is amazing, OP- sharing seeds, produce, plants, and expertise with your community. I don't know why so many people feel the impulse to be so nasty. You are clearly referring to the increasing problems of climate destruction and strife in the world, and what people can do to live well in the knowledge of what is unfolding globally.

I turn 50 next year and have set myself a list of 50 things to do before I’m 50. Some of the things cost money but some are simple things like cloud watching with my DDs and photograph a rainbow. It makes me happy 😃

Hi op. I’m with you, it does all feel increasingly desolate. Just got through covid and now this. We are planting veg too - I’m a beginner so I suspect I’m not using the land well enough. I don’t know how much to plant to overplant if you see what I mean! But yes, I’d love to get good enough at it to collect and share seeds. And set up a tool library. It seems mad to me that we all have our individual lawnmowers etc.

@LoveLabradors

Perhaps rather than using hyperbole such as “increasingly desolate lives”, have a think about what life in Mariupol might be like right now. I should imagine desolate barely begins to cover it. I cannot bear the self righteous, dramatic and frankly spoilt title and tone of this thread.

*...have a think about what life in Yemen/Syria/Afganistan/Mariupol might be like right now. I should imagine desolate barely begins to cover it.*

Fixed that for you. Other places can be war torn and we can OP can still have this opinion.

You sound great OP, like someone who is community spirited and actively helping others locally. If only more people were like you.

My life isn't increasingly desolate. My DH survived his stroke and although he's disabled (very) he's still here, we still talk and laugh and both of us agree that our love hasn't been affected one jot by his stroke. I retire in 11 weeks and even though I wfh part time I am very much looking forward to it.

I crochet and sew and plan on making pet blankets for my local animals home. We donate to several charities every month and are happy that we will still be able to do this. Occasionaly I'll use the really good yarn I've got stashed and make gifts for friends and family.

My DH used to be the house cook and we are looking forward to him helping me in small ways in the kitchen; he'll be able to stir things, and cut things if he's very careful. Yes we'll be hard up (very) but that's OK, we don't go out, drink, or smoke and our pleasures are simple. No, life isn't desolate. My fear was DH would die; how could life be desolate when I still have him with me?

My life isn't desolate, I count my blessings daily and try to appreciate all of the little and big things. For me there has been a change of tone over the last while though. It does feel like covid, the war in Ukraine, the cost of living crisis and the environmental crisis have all/are all happening at a similar time and there is an acknowledgement that things are tougher now for a lot of people than they were a few years ago, and there are more difficult days to come.

I do think OP was looking for a thread were people came together with ideas to perk ourselves up and help each other and maybe inspire others too. People can be suffering for a whole variety of reasons in the UK; financially, with poor MH, from bereavement, burnout etc. What is going on in Ukraine is abhorrent and it breaks my heart, but it doesn't null and void other people's experiences.

I have booked some lovely events and social occasions with friends, lots to look forward to.

I've been trying to word this in a non negative way but it's not happening so I apologise, however, does anybody else sometimes read these type of threads and feel that a lot of mumsnetters seem to enjoy 'playing at being poor'? It's good that people want to save money/energy etc but some suggestions are so out of the realms of reality for a lot of people (acre of land, orchards, buying things for winter now etc.) Not sure what point I'm trying to make to be honest, maybe that for many being poor is a stressful reality not a fun challenge.

Loving the sound of your seed library OP. Will you teach people to seed save also? I would love to learn.

I volunteer, and I grow a little bit of food.