My partner's parenting roles

[SamL123]

Me and my partner have been together for 9 years and have a 9 month old daughter. At the moment my partner works 2 hours, 4 days a week (Mon-Thurs. 3pm-5pm) he barely does any of the parenting and housework, plays video games most of the time, goes to be at 4am and get up after 1pm. He secretly smokes weed in our living room where our babies things are 😠 and spends our money on a Yu-Gi-Oh mobile card game to the point I panic how I'm going to feed us all. Is it really unreasonable of me to expect him to be up with me when our baby is up, help around the house a bit and do some of the care of our baby... It's not like he's working all the time and I'm now feeling very fed up of being mum to a man child 😵 and I'm so stressed it's making me sick

You dont try to leave, you just leave.

Who owns the house?

@SamL123

I've tried to leave many times but he tells me he'll hurt himself and once said he'd hurt me and he won't leave.

He is not your responsibilities and you can not control what another adult does. So if he does hurt himself - that's on him not on you.

But he has given you a clear signal that you are not safe with him - why would you ignore that?

On your other thread, you say the flat you live in belongs to your partner's parents, so realistically, you probably can't force him to leave.

But what about you? Do you work? Do you have any source of income at all?

CAB, Women's Aid, your local council, Shelter are all potential sources of help and / or advice.

@jampim

Who owns the house?

The partner's parents, according to the OP's other thread.

The fact you even have to ask if your being unreasonable is sad.

Don't let him emotionally blackmail you, he is responsible for his own life & choices.

You child will pay the consequences.

Get him out or you're child will suffer the consequences.

@SamL123

I've tried to leave many times but he tells me he'll hurt himself and once said he'd hurt me and he won't leave.

He won't hurt himself, that's just blackmail.

Threatening to hurt you, get the police involved.

He won't leave - what's the living arrangement? Rented - who's on the tenancy? Owned - sell up or buy him out (he's clearly not in a position to buy you out). Could you leave?

Is this what you want for the rest of your life? because he'll be perfectly happy to live this way forever.

I get MA but the rest is on his card and I haven't been able to transfer any money because I haven't been able to find the card reader in ages to do online banking. As have been involved but there really not bothered about weed because she's well taken care of and isn't around. I don't really have family or friends but I have spoken to the children's centre who are trying to help

Call the police, he has threatened you.

works 2 hours, 4 days a week.

This is barely work! For a young able bodied person this is pathetic! 8 measly hours over 4 days. What a waster!

If there’s a chance he’s going to hurt you, as he has threatened, report that to the police, then kick him out. Or perhaps, speak to Women’s Aid and get yourself and your baby the fuck out of there. You’ll probably be entitled to more support than you’re currently getting, too.

If you separate from him you can make a new claim in your own name which ýou can direct toy our own account. That will give you the money you need to get your poor baby our of this horrible situation.