Is their skin tone light?

[Nobeautysleep]

We have two DC - DC1 is a toddler, DC2 a baby. They are mixed race due to myself and my husband having different ethnicities. The amount of people who have commented that the children have different skin tone and asked “is DC2 lighter than DC1?” Or said “DC1 is darker than DC2.”

AIBU in thinking this is not ok?

No YADNBU OP.
This is just so rude and ignorant.
They wouldn't say this about two white babies who could easily also have different skin tones.

It s rude to comment e g strangers
Of course people might comment on looks like mum/dad... eg red hair eye colour blonde hair if parent has dark etc long fingers nose shape etcetera
Depends how and what context?

Bit yes rude

In my experience people do comment (and not always favourably) on white children's colouring if there are siblings with different colouring, ask any parent of redheads, but its still a bit rude. Safer all round anf much nicer to stick to "what lovely children you have".

Hmm doesn’t bother me I have 4 kids and people will mention it, mainly people I know. Strangers would be weird though.

People used to do it to me with DS & DD. Once a lady at baby group asked me ‘is it the same dad?’ It’s because she has lighter skin/more white passing.

It’s annoying because I never commented on other people’s kids. Like I wouldn’t say ‘oooh one of your kids is skinny and the other is quite overweight.’ Or ‘what terrible eczema your baby’s got.’

So I don’t know why people felt it was acceptable. Weirdly it’s tailed off as they’ve gotten older, but I don’t know if that’s because I’ve got two younger kids know and they all look different.

So if it’s any comfort it may tail off as they get bigger. But I still get comments on my kids looks all the time. As far as I’m concerned the only comment I want re my kids looks is ‘wow what good looking kids, they must take after you!’

It’s very rude, but as others have said, it happens to others too. I am the freckled red-head with an olive skinned mum & sister.
Used to hate peoples comments ; ‘what happened to you then ?’; summers were a nightmare - 2 bronzed beauties and a large beetroot beside them.
People can be dicks.

@Trulyweird1 that’s appallingly rude.
It’s just one of those things where I can’t remember anyone commenting on any of our friends babies who are white.
I also feel like it’s a bit negativity on the baby as he is more white passing, but then I am totally willing to accept that this is sensitivity on my part

Just say ‘they are both the light of my life’ . Shut the buggers down.😘

My siblings and I still get it. One got told he’s ‘not properly mixed like ‘db name’

We used to answer with ‘yes, we’re all beautiful’

@Thedogscollar

No YADNBU OP. This is just so rude and ignorant. They wouldn't say this about two white babies who could easily also have different skin tones.

I'm white and have white toddler twins. One twin has olive skin, brown eyes and hair. The other twin has paler skin, blue eyes and blonde hair.

EVERYONE comments on the differences in their colouring. If strangers in the street or in a shop comment, the first thing they say is always how one is much darker/lighter.

Seems incredibly rude to me. And more than rude, ignorant, as though people might not guess this could be a sensitive issue.

YANBU at all. It's rude and insensitive.

My family are all white. I look extremely different to my siblings in every respect and people have always mentioned that (and even that used to drive my mum mad when i was younger)but nobody has ever mentioned skin tone. Not once, even though I'm noticeably far, far paler than my siblings. I do think what are people are saying to you about your children is different, even if unintentionally so, from just commenting generally.