I live 3 hours away from my mum, she is mid 70s. She's an expert in her field of work and still works very hard and travels oversees as an expert to tough destinations (last one was Bangladesh). She split from my dad when I was small and has no partner.
She also looks after my sisters DS - a lovely but very hard work 2 year old - often for a few days at a time.
Recently she's had surgery and bad covid and she seems completely exhausted to me. But she won't slow down.
The thing is, I feel that it's unhelpful to police people and try and pressure them to work less or help out less with grandkids. But if this is wearing her out and she is becoming too tired and ill to cope then perhaps I should say something.
My sister doesn't want to use her less for childcare but wants her to work less. My mum doesn't want to do less of anything - and doesn't always have good boundaries. But it's her life.
So - should I say / do something? Or just support her choices even if she does seriously over do it. And will I regret it if she becomes seriously ill.