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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to not take a COVID test?

154 replies

pepstuw · 11/04/2022 09:27

So bit of back story, I worked in an NHS role where I was exposed to Covid a lot at the start of the pandemic, had my vaccines and in November 2021 it finally caught up with me and I got it for the first time.

Then in February this year I got it again but was only testing positive for 2 days (the day I needed a negative test for an important work trip abroad, typically!) I'm guessing this was Omicron this time but I had 0 symptoms.

Last Weds my stepmum who currently lives with me tested started feeling unwell and on Friday when she took a test it was positive. She has isolated away in her room etc and I thought it's quite unlikely I'll get a third time?!

I have a spa break from this evening to weds and I've woken up today with a sore throat that hurts to swallow. I really just want to enjoy my time away as it was a birthday present from my best friend. Have spoken to her and she says she'd rather I just didn't test until after our trip but she understands it's maybe a bit irresponsible.

As I understand it, 1 in 13 people currently are walking around with the virus and I have been very cautious throughout the pandemic and followed rules. I know it's not even against the law to go out if I did have covid, but knowing I had it would make me feel bad and I would cancel the trip. Is it so selfish to think if 2 years down the line people are so scared of getting covid that they shouldn't be going to a spa etc? If 1 in 13 has it then the supermarket is a higher risk?!

Opinions please

OP posts:

SlashBeef · 11/04/2022 11:56

@Notonthestairs

I wasn't locked down for 2 years - I've been on holiday twice, theatre, gigs, birthday parties etc - no idea what you were doing Slash (touch of the hysteria yourself there maybe?)

Pointless thread - you've made up your mind. I feel for the spa staff however. Especially anyone there who is self employed.

Yeah I was busy battling severe mental health problems after giving birth alone and not being allowed any mental health professionals in my home to support me 😊 absolutely glorious it was. Loved being collateral damage.

RebeccaCloud9 · 11/04/2022 11:59

So you know you are likely to have it but you don't give a shit about the people working there or the other people going to enjoy a spa. Nice. If you are posting here to get validation for your selfish and irresponsible decision, you are unlikely to get it.

It would be different if you had no symptoms and no contact, but you know you are a risk and quite possibly highly contagious. I wouldn't go to a spa if I knew I may well have flu.

redglobox · 11/04/2022 11:59

I wouldn't hesitate to go if I felt well enough. People have (understandably) lost all perspective on this. Don't let those people dictate how you live your life.

Wannakisstheteacher · 11/04/2022 12:02

I wouldn’t test if I didn’t have symptoms. But I couldn’t go and knowingly infect other people. It’s not fair on the spa staff who might be self employed and would really be screwed over.

PomegranateRose · 11/04/2022 12:05

Taking risks for yourself is one thing. Taking risks on behalf of others who have also chosen to go out is another. But those spa staff likely have very little choice about being there, and in all likelihood won't get much (if any) sick pay of you make them ill.

There are certain situations in which it is simply selfish to act a certain way. Just because something is legal or other selfish people say it's alright, doesn't make it ethical. As a nursing student myself I'd expect someone who has worked in the NHS to know better and have more respect for the safety of people you will be in close contact with through no real choice of their own.

Hbh17 · 11/04/2022 12:05

Just don't test - it's pointless, & we should have stopped this months ago.
Enjoy your break!

chesirecat99 · 11/04/2022 12:07

Like genuinely, it's been 2 years and how much longer are we supposed to live like this with a slight sore throat etc?

But for others, would you honestly stay inside if you had a cold?

You are being utterly selfish. It's not like a cold for everyone though, is it? Not to mention the chaos that high levels of infection have been causing, cancelled flights etc, as you should know, there are concerns the NHS is already starting to creak again, the finanicial hardship for people who don't get sick pay...

You shouldn't be asking what would you do if you had a cold, it's not the same. A better question is what you would do if you had chicken pox or measles - similarly infectious diseases that can have serious consequences. Hopefully, you would follow NHS advice and stay home for 5 days if you had chicken pox or measles.

How much longer is it going to be like this? Pretty much forever or until something fundamentally changes like better drug treatments or the virus mutates, just like some countries have to live with endemic malaria, for example.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 11/04/2022 12:12

You have symptoms but have decided not to test. Not sure what the point of your post was. Hope your enjoy your spa break and don't infect too many self-employed people.

walksen · 11/04/2022 12:13

But those spa staff likely have very little choice about being there, and in all likelihood won't get much (if any) sick pay of you make them ill.

Same was true of supply teachers etc even pre vaccines but many people didn't care about that either, or the mental health or their child was more important. Like I said working with the public is an occupational hazard and the op is following the living with covid latest guidance.

Toocooltoboogie · 11/04/2022 12:14

Don't test and go. Hope you have a lovely time.

chesirecat99 · 11/04/2022 12:14

@redglobox

I wouldn't hesitate to go if I felt well enough. People have (understandably) lost all perspective on this. Don't let those people dictate how you live your life.

Actually, I think the people who have lost perspective are those who think everything should go back to exactly how it was pre-pandemic. Although we have always had a pretty selfish culture towards infecting other people when we are sick. The culture of trying to protect others by wearing a mask when you have a cold etc is much better.

Would you send your child to school knowing that they had chicken pox or measles, or let your teen go to a party with mumps? All highly infectious diseases that can have serious consequences but are mild for most people that the NHS recommends isolating for.

PomegranateRose · 11/04/2022 12:15

@walksen

But those spa staff likely have very little choice about being there, and in all likelihood won't get much (if any) sick pay of you make them ill.

I've worked in education too - I sympathise. But the difference here is that education is essential and a spa trip is most certainly not. And as I've said, something being legal/in line with guidance isn't the same as it being ethical.

thebear1 · 11/04/2022 12:20

I have tested positive and am currently working from home and have missed several events this weekend because although it is no longer a legal requirement the guidance is to stay home for 5 days. I understand your frustration. I do think the government also need to get the message out that stay home is still advised.

washingmachines4 · 11/04/2022 12:22

Test, stay home if positive, go if not. Simple.
Gosh, what a lot of drama. There is a clear procedure here and moral obligation.
Get over your self pity, isn't life unfair, etc and just get on with it!
My friends completely healthy child got hospitalised with Covid, (never had the opportunity to be vaccinated - that opportunity has only just opened), it isn't minor for some even when you expect it to be.

bofski14 · 11/04/2022 12:25

Would you go with chicken pox? I despair. Selfish, selfish, selfish. You're going to go anyway. Your parents must be so proud.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 11/04/2022 12:26

People like you are the reason why so many people now have covid and why organisations are struggling with staff shortages (not to mention high levels of hospitalisations and deaths). But clearly you don't care

Why don't you blame the government instead of people who are happy to stick to the rules that they've set out?

I'm not going to say whether I agree with the OP or not as it isn't relevant but those saying anyone still not isolating are selfish idiots are putting the blame on the wrong people

HardyBuckette · 11/04/2022 12:26

There'll be other people at the spa that day who have covid and would be even if everyone with anything resembling a symptom stayed away. That's a given in any busy environment now.

However, what I'd do is ring the spa and ask about their policy for positive covid tests. It's likely they'll rebook you.

washingmachines4 · 11/04/2022 12:27

Btw, If you care about the responses 66% so far think you are unreasonable. That is the majority.
But of course a few agree with you so you will likely go with that. And we wonder how we got into this mess in the first place - people like you!

HardyBuckette · 11/04/2022 12:28

@washingmachines4

Btw, If you care about the responses 66% so far think you are unreasonable. That is the majority. But of course a few agree with you so you will likely go with that. And we wonder how we got into this mess in the first place - people like you!

I don't think I'd go while symptomatic either, but your second paragraph is stupid. We got into this mess in the first place because a virus did what viruses do.

KarmaStar · 11/04/2022 12:28

I'm not going to help you justify to yourself that you are fine to potentially pass on a life threatening infection so you can have a lovely relaxing time.
Karma is not a figment of your imagination either.

Nelliephant1 · 11/04/2022 12:29

You are being completely unreasonable and totally unfair to any people you are in contact with either in person or in passing 😡

TulipsGarden · 11/04/2022 12:30

@ThatBlastCameFromTheDeathStar and @Poppins2016 Yup, I'm ill with Covid now too. It's mild in that I'm not in hospital, but last time I felt this awful was when I had a very similar illness in March 2020... I'm a few days in and feeling better, but the exhaustion is something else.

I wouldn't want to give this to anyone.

walksen · 11/04/2022 12:31

But the difference here is that education is essential

Well I guess it is essential when you want to send your child in to infect multiple teachers and their classmates but strangely it isn't when a parent wants to take their child out a week early to save money on a holiday etc.

And the owners of the spa and the people that work there may feel it essential to stay in business. Maybe the OP feels it is essential to her mental health. The government wants us to abandon testing and treat covid like flu. And after all, anyone working in high risk environments were told to get another job or stop whingeing as everyone has had the chance to have their jabs.

Would I go if it was me? Maybe not but equally I can't condemn people like the OP either.

switswoo81 · 11/04/2022 12:32

Where I live you still must isolate for 7 days, however surely though the part where we learn to live with it is that you take the precautions you would with any other infectious disease and not expose others unnecessarily. It is selfish to knowingly attend a very close contact appointment when you have any symptoms of a highly contagious disease be it flu chicken pox or Covid.
Learning to live with it is not the same as saying feck everyone else sure I'm grand.
Maybe that therapist will not receive sick pay that she needs maybe she is in the early stages of pregnancy or visits a vunerable relative .
Yes she knows the risks working in close contact with people but you are relying on goodwill and kindness .

Kinneddar · 11/04/2022 12:35

@rhowton

I wouldn't test. I dont care who I give it to, mainly because I'm a selfish cow.

Yeah you got that right. What a shocking attitude

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