To have called the police on my 18 year old son

[Wineisrequired]

So his behaviour has changed over the last few months . He’s never out of the local pub and is very aggressive. He came home about an hour ago and started to get aggressive with me . Punching doors and calling me all the names under the sun. I was really scared and called the police. No arrest and they felt it best he sleeps it off if I’m happy for him to stay here but if they have to come out again he will be arrested . He’s now left the house again refusing to stay here. No close family nearby what would you do ?

I'd be pleased he's gone. Some space is needed here
When he comes home you can talk about it. The way he behaved was unacceptable and he needs to know you will not tolerate being abused.

Sorry. I missed your update. that's a good start at least.

He needs to have a period without booze/drugs - if he has free time is there a sport he enjoys? Or can he volunteer to help locally? Get another job/extend his hours. I’m assuming he’s not working in a pub/bar.

That sounds horrible. What’s the background to your relationship? Has he always been tricky or is this something new? If he was a little boy you’d be exploring the route of the behaviour and I think this could be useful here as well. Eighteen is still very young and an age when you still need your mum. He needs to understand that the behaviour / drinking has to stop without question, but that you love him and are happy to help him however you can.

My son got aggressive for a short period when he was smoking weed.
I only knew what he was doing when I found a lighter in his drawers. I never smelt it on him.

@pigcon1- he works part time in a pub . He also got offered a job in the local Tesco’s but I found out last night he didn’t go. I will talk to him again when he wakes up. I only want him to be happy but I feel there is more going on here. He is a lovely lad most of the time but this needs to be stopped. I know it will be tough but I’m sure I can do it .

Read up on addiction OP - If that's the problem I'm afraid only HE can do it

Who else is in your house?
You could ask him to take drug tests and only allow him home with a clear drug test.
You could see if there is an anger management program around? Maybe the police can help.

If he is in university he should contact student services and ask for support. They should have services tailored to students who are having trouble adjusting to this new phase.

I second @ThreeLittleDots
For me the first step might be that he speaks to his GP.

I don’t think it’s addiction I think it’s a case of he’s 18 and has discovered alcohol. I worked from home today and we have had lots of long conversations about his behaviour. He does accept that what he did is wrong and he is going to stop it happening again. I only want him to be happy and I’m not his enemy but he really did scare me .

I think I'd do more than you've done OP. He was punching things and made you feel scared. That's extreme behaviour. I'd suggest (again !) anger management course,