Emotional abuse or is it me

[Nomore331]

I feel like I've been thrown all around. I've just got home from my boyfriend's house. I guess you need to be completely honest to get the right advice on here. It's just sort of become something that is out of my control and I'm not being able to walk away. Family and friends have been telling me not to talk to him anymore and not to go back to him. I feel like it will take ages to explain. I met my boyfriend 18 months ago. He's 15 years older than me. When we first met he seemed to be someone that I felt had a future with and I really fancied him. Then gradually over time he became someone that just caused sadness all the time. He just makes me feel sad. I don't need an emergency help I just wondered if there's a hotline I can call that anybody knows I've just to talk about it because I feel like I'm going mad I feel like I've been emotionally abused and I need someone to help me work this out please

If you want someone to talk to you can ring Samaritans. If you feel like you are being abused you almost certainly are do you want to give examples?

Just go. My ex either made me sad or just angry/irritable all the time and it was my sign that it was over

Women’s Aid helpline at the bottom of the page linked below. (Just because Refuge is mentioned doesn’t mean you have to be asking to enter a refuge, they’ll be happy just to talk things through and help you work out the best way forward for you.)

www.nationaldahelpline.org.

Lying to me then when I find out he accuses me of stalking etc.
Name calling
Silent treatment
Borrowing money but falling out with me.
Hardly giving affection but asking me to rub his back because it's painful.
Take take take but never gives.

Just go. This relationship is clearly no good for you, whether or not it is abuse doesn't matter. It's bad for you. Leave.

Woman’s aid. Just leave then block him then maybe look into some counselling. Do you have any family or friends that could support you.

@Nomore331

Lying to me then when I find out he accuses me of stalking etc. Name calling Silent treatment Borrowing money but falling out with me. Hardly giving affection but asking me to rub his back because it's painful. Take take take but never gives.

You do not need him.

He’s 15 years older than you and not a good partner.

Accept you’ve given him 18 months of your precious life and resolve not to give him another minute.

A starting point could be to understand why are accepting this treatment and not taking the advice of your loved ones. You know this is not acceptable but continue to put yourself in the way of emotional harm. Life can be much better than this.

Marie Kondo the shit out of this relationship. He makes you feel sad? Out he goes. Life is too fucking short. Sounds like friends and family have got his number.

Why do you feel you need a reason to leave?

If he's making you miserable then leave. You owe him nothing.

As pps have said you can call Samaritans or Women’s Aid.
What he is doing sounds like emotional abuse and I’m sure you don’t want him to abuse you any longer.
Walk away, block him then call Samaritans ir Women’s Aid to allow yourself to vent.
He’s not worth wasting your life on.

You don't live with him. Listen to your family/friends, don't go back and block his number/media. If he pursues you after this, report him for harassment.

Does it matter if it’s abusive?

He makes you unhappy.

LEAVE. You don’t even live together.

It doesn't matter whether it 'counts' as abuse or not. He makes you sad. That's all you need to know. You don't need to be able to label it abuse in order to justify ending the relationship. Leaving because the relationship does not make you happy is an excellent reason to leave.