Husband’s smoking habit

[rocksonrocks]

My husband took up smoking just before Christmas, out of nowhere. I tried to protest at the time but it fell on deaf ears so he now sits and smokes away in the garden every couple of hours.

It is really starting to impact our relationship. It’s such a turn off for me to the point that I don’t want to have sex, I can’t even kiss him and when he tries to be physically affectionate I physically reel away from him because of the smell.

My sense of smell was hugely impacted when I had COVID which I appreciate might be contributing, but AIBU to be disgusted by his habit? It makes me sad not being able to be affectionate and intimate.

@rocksonrocks

No he didn’t smoke before. Have asked where it’s suddenly come from and he had one off a mate on a night out and now he’s hooked. I wish I knew which mate so I could bloody give them a talking to!!!

I think it would have been a deal breaker if he was a smoker when we met, yes. No disrespect to anyone who smokes but personally I find it really grim.

Unless you’ve married a child this is entirely your husband’s responsibility.

It's a really strange habit to take up as an adult. My dad used to pick it up in times of extreme stress and put it down again when the stress was over. It was always weird to see him with a fag in his gob.

Is this his way of carving out time for himself? I think I'd be having a chat with him.

Please tell me he isn't smoking in the house?

when i quit, found it a slog til i realised this: it's not that addictive. it's a lie. we're told it's awful to come off cogs so the companies making nrt can cash in. ditto vaping companies.

A relative of mine is still using nicotine tabs 15 years after he quit smoking. His partner, a doctor, is not happy about it.

when i quit, found it a slog til i realised this: it's not that addictive. it's a lie. we're told it's awful to come off cogs so the companies making nrt can cash in. ditto vaping companies.
A lot of it is.
The cigarette companies ensuring that nicotine addiction stays put even if cigarette smoking ends.
They've made a fortune using influence vloggers to advertise those colourful little pots of nicotine pouches that apparently give you an energy buzz and the fruity coloured disposal non leaking vape pens.

They've encouraged the younger generation into nicotine addiction ensuring they continue to profit.

US nicotine pouch sales have grown 300 times in five years.

Have asked where it’s suddenly come from and he had one off a mate on a night out and now he’s hooked

Sorry but that is ridiculous. Smoking isn't that addictive - I know, I've been a smoker and it really isn't . The idea that a grown adult would have one smoke and suddenly become an addict, just doesn't ring true to me. I don't know what he's up to, but the whole thing sounds like a story he is giving you to cover for something else. Maybe those trips to the garden are a cover for him doing something else.

I voted yabu purely because he’s an adult and honestly I think your marriage must be pretty crap anyway for this to warrant you leaving. I’m guessing he’s an arsehole and this is the straw that broke the camels back?

Is there a chance this is just a phase for your DH?
I'll be honest about this, I started smoking in lockdown. I was depressed and having problems with my partner and had a couple of cigarettes at night. Strangely found it comforting, although I had smoked before as a teen.
My partner hated it. One day I didn't fancy it anymore and haven't had a cigarette since.
YANBU to dislike it though. Smoking is not attractive at all.