Sitting alone crying

[Longtimeuser]

So today is a significant birthday for a family member, we are all sitting around and my younger sister 30 wants to play a drinking game but will only play with me if I promise I don't "go psycho again" I told her that is really offensive and what they heck was she talking about... She advised me that I "went crazy when we played at Christmas". Now I suffer from mental health issues and the Christmas issue she is referring to was when we all played and we all got competitive, no arguments or anything and was all in good fun but she really offended me and said it in front of our whole family. She also started making fun of the way I say my husband's name, something she's being doing for years. I've asked her to stop dozens of times... Today was the first time I've heard it in years.

So now I was in the kitchen alone when my mother comes in and she seems I'm upset. I told her what happened and "I'm running everything, she didn't mean it like that blah blah blah". Its fucking offensive to me to hear people call me psycho. I've struggled with my mental health in the past, had a really good few weeks and felt u was turning the corner and now I feel the rug has been pulled from under me by her calling me psycho.

I'm currently hiding in the spare room in tears and she's out with the rest of my family and having food and drinks. I'm 37 for god's sake and I feel like I can't say anything because it will "be all my fault again". I think it was my mother's eye rolling when I told her what was wrong that's really got to me.

Advice, handhold, anything would be great.

Similar experiences with my family.

I would say it might’ve worth looking at your sister and mothers relationship in more detail. Is it just this situation or more likely the last 37 years? I’m definitely more triggered by my family due to years of similar experiences. Having some better coping mechanisms might be useful?

We're in our 30s and love playing a good drinking game.

Back to the point, I don't think she was trying to be offensive by calling you psycho. Probably trying to be flippant. However offence is determined by the recipient and if it hurt you she should recognise this and apologise. The fact she hasnt indicates to me that she is being very defensive

Back to the point, I don't think she was trying to be offensive by calling you psycho. Probably trying to be flippant.

I think if that were really the case, she wouldn't have then turned on the OP ehen she calmasked her not tocall her paycho any more (as per OP's last post).

OP your family sound very unpleasant. I think I'd be not seeing them for a good while if I were you.

Some families designate a family scapegoat. You’re it. I am mine. They sound really unpleasant toward you and all you can do is distance yourself. I hope you’ve decided to go home.

I can sympathise with you as I am this person in my family, they treat me like shit. I am constantly gaslit, my feelings minimised or invalidated. I am not allowed a voice, they just shut me down. You need to step away and put yourself first, as another poster said, they are probably the reason for your mh problems.

@NeverChange

For what it's worth, I don't thing anyone who struggles with mental health should drink alcoholic as it exaberates everything. No good can come from it.

That said, if people aren't good for your mental health, sometimes you need to take a step back from them.

Completely agree about the alcohol thing. I didn't drink for years... Had 1 bottle of beer last night to celebrate. It really makes things worse.

Really focusing on steeping back.

I also took a step back from a family member and was at a family funeral and someone I had not seen in ages said how family member said I was gone 'weird' so they do not even get why I have distanced myself and prefer to call me weird. Some families are on top of each other and never got their own independence and that is not healthy as all they do is gossip. You seem to have a good life and have done well for yourself so am guessing they are jealous of you also. Well done for telling sis not to keep saying that to you.

Step right back. It sounds properly toxic.