To ask you how to gently approach

[Confusedxsx]

This subject. My boyfriend's not the easiest person to talk to when it's deep conversations and asking about intense stuff. We do have a good bond usually but something has broken it a little recently. I saw some messages to his ex and whilst he's always been open with me they are friends, he's also choosen to keep this bond with her even though it's causing stress in our relationship. I am not jealous and was fine with it until I realised she doesn't want to know about me. She has a natural problem with me as she found it hard him moving on, but has decided she still wants to be super nice to my boyfriend and im just not discussed.
Since seeing the messages and realising he still has affection towards her (not sexual) just care and warmth I have felt sad and like I don't feel as close to him. I want to tell him how I'm feeling without causing a row.

How can I start it? He tends to be really tricky at times.

I'd leave, it all sounds a bit much.

If I understand it right, he's carrying on a friendship with his ex despite knowing that she still has feelings for him? And not only has he not put her straight on this, he also allows her to make you an "off limits" subject of discussion in their cosy little chats?

Yeah.... no.

Just no.

He's chatting to her so that she can stroke his ego and he can feel like Mr Big Swinging Dick who all the ladies love.

If he's not willing to consider your feelings and to even reassure you on the issue then he's not worth the hassle.

@Hospedia is spot on.

You cannot be friends with an ex who still has feelings for you and resents your new partner.

I don’t think it’s appropriate to ban an adult from seeing any friend but you are perfectly within your rights to state your discomfort and lay out boundaries.

This would be a ‘no’ from me.

With respect, you are being a doormat.
Raise your standard and walk away, you deserve better.

He tends to be really tricky at times.

Not good...hard to see how this can be improved

How long have you been together?

"He tends to be really tricky at times." This sentence says it all. If you have to walk on egg shells and can't talk openly and spontaneously, he's not worth the agro. In my experience, men who are tricky at times, have a habit of becoming tricky most of the time, as they age. Oh, and you will be the unreasonable one.

What Hospedia said

@Hospedia

If I understand it right, he's carrying on a friendship with his ex despite knowing that she still has feelings for him? And not only has he not put her straight on this, he also allows her to make you an "off limits" subject of discussion in their cosy little chats?

Yeah.... no.

Just no.

He's chatting to her so that she can stroke his ego and he can feel like Mr Big Swinging Dick who all the ladies love.

If he's not willing to consider your feelings and to even reassure you on the issue then he's not worth the hassle.

This so you can read it again OP.