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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Smelly house

39 replies

ouch12345 · 09/04/2022 10:28

In Laws live a (very) long drive away so when we visit them we stay for 4-5 days. We have two young DC.

In laws are lovely and we get on with them really well and love spending time with them. They are wealthy have a big house and have a cleaner.

The issue is they have cats, one of which is very old and is known to wee and poo over the house. I don't know if they don't notice but we've stayed before and I've woke up in the morning to find cat poo right next to the bed which DC have stepped in.

Whenever we visit the smell is so bad (cat poo and wee) in certain areas of the house that it makes me gag, I'm also worried about DC playing and finding cat poo, cat wee (they are very young) and picking it up, touching it. Whenever we come home I hot wash all our clothes and feel like I need to scrub the smell off us all as it lingers.

We're due to visit in a couple of weeks (they visited us last time) and the thought of it is making me feel sick. I hate the thought of sleeping in a bed that they cat has been on, even eating there makes my stomach turn now as the cats bowl etc are in the kitchen and it spends a lot of time there.

I haven't mentioned it to DH has I don't want to make him feel embarrassed or be mean but what would you do in this situation? I don't feel like I can say anything to them without them being mortally offended? Do I stealth clean? Refuse to go? If we suggested staying in an Airbnb etc they would obviously know something is up as there house is huge. But I can't stomach another visit.

Suppose this isn't really an AIBU more of a WWYD.

OP posts:
Fallsballs · 09/04/2022 15:19

Do you have to stay the night ? You didn’t say how far away they lived.
I have cats and I wouldn’t spend the night in a house smelling of cat piss. It’s spectacularly rank.
I think your in laws have gone nose blind. Does your OH notice the smell ? Is he nose blind too ?

ImplementingTheDennisSystem · 09/04/2022 15:27

You say you're visiting in a couple of weeks OP - hopefully you get good weather and can steer a lot of activity outside. Why don't you offer to lay the table in the garden etc. "Anyone for a g&t in the garden?!" and so on. Maybe buy them a fire pit as a gift and then just HAVE to try it out with them! (Sorry, I'm clutching at straws!)

MatildaTheCat · 09/04/2022 15:27

DH needs to have an honest chat with them. I can’t believe they don’t notice or know how bad it is if they are otherwise clean and sensible people. Our ancient mog started weeing on the carpet in one room and I was obsessed with it. Even after having the underlay replaced and the carpet professionally cleaned.

Old cats often have kidney issues and wee a vast amount.

He just needs to say that poor old puss is unfortunately obviously incontinent and with young children it’s simply not safe to be around.

MatildaTheCat · 09/04/2022 15:29

@Fallsballs, it’s literally in the OP’s first sentence!

NewYearCalavicci · 09/04/2022 15:40

@Missdotty

Such a shame that they don't just put it out of its misery. It must be horrible to be that cat, a naturally clean animal, shitting and seeing indiscriminately round the house. I sometimes wonder at these so called animal lovers - where there loyalties are. They certainly don't seem to be thinking about the cat in all of this. I think they need a trip to the vets for a final, peaceful injection
A heath check would be first surely Shock

My 2 year old cat suddenly started peeing all over the place including on my bed >>grim

loobylou10 · 09/04/2022 15:43

@fallsballs - 4/5 hour drive away

loobylou10 · 09/04/2022 15:44

@Fallsballs - sorry 'a very long drive away' needing a 4/5 day stay

Fallsballs · 09/04/2022 16:13

That’s long, I did see a ‘long drive’ MatildaTheCat . It’s just I like precise numbers as I’m weird.

Original poster
ouch12345 · 09/04/2022 17:53

@Fallsballs it's a good 5 hour drive with no traffic so definitely can't be done in one dah annoyingly.

OP posts:
Original poster
ouch12345 · 09/04/2022 17:53

@Ariela yes, this is a really good idea. Thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
ouch12345 · 09/04/2022 17:56

@Missdotty I agree, our cat is the same he is very very clean and never smells.

OP posts:
isthatanotherbastardgrey · 09/04/2022 17:58

Don't beat about the bush with allergies. Be honest.

PIL - really sorry, but your house smells and there's lumps of shit dotted about randomly and we have small children. The two are not compatible, someone is going to tread in something/smear it/pick it up etc.

Why dress it up in lies? It's perfectly legitimate as it is!

Veryverycalmnow · 09/04/2022 18:13

I'd get an Airbnb and if they ask why get DH to tell them it's not suitable for the kids anymore with the cat's age/ incontinence. I stay in a hotel near my parents house with DS. Their house is really mouldy and dusty and I keep DS away from it. I told them in a polite way. Put the kids first.

AvinABarney · 09/04/2022 18:45

@isthatanotherbastardgrey

Don't beat about the bush with allergies. Be honest.

PIL - really sorry, but your house smells and there's lumps of shit dotted about randomly and we have small children. The two are not compatible, someone is going to tread in something/smear it/pick it up etc.

Why dress it up in lies? It's perfectly legitimate as it is!

If you're this blunt, it's probably better coming from your husband, but it'll most likely address the issue (once they get over the embarrassment)
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